Sinera's Lucidiary

[poème]

Yeah, congrats, poeme! I think it is one step further now, the next step (higher on the ladder of increased lucidity) will be that you are sure that you are "out" and need not think about it anymore. It might be that I have reached it recently (latest lucidventures still to be reported), and that one really took me quite a while, so hope I won't 'unlearn' it again.

I'm sure you won't!
As for myself, I can be low on the lucidity scale, indeed This needs to be stablized, I suppose!

It happens after re-integration and after waking up. That means I am wide awake (and in no trance) when I experience it. It is an electric, chilly feeling around my entire body and it lasts for about 20 seconds to half a minute, sometimes even longer. It always pops up after a lucid experience confirming what I already know anyway: I did not have a 'normal dream'

Out of curiosity, do you only get these sensations after re-entering your body or do you also get them (or similar sensations) at some other times?

[Sinera]

It happens after re-integration and after waking up. That means I am wide awake (and in no trance) when I experience it. It is an electric, chilly feeling around my entire body and it lasts for about 20 seconds to half a minute, sometimes even longer. It always pops up after a lucid experience confirming what I already know anyway: I did not have a 'normal dream'

Out of curiosity, do you only get these sensations after re-entering your body or do you also get them (or similar sensations) at some other times?

Only then. After the experience, PREES even 'sticks' to me when I get up from bed and walk around in my room. It's a strange thing for me that no one else gets them. It is NOT goosebumps by the way: when I have vivid, insightful and emotional dreams (like the series in the night I described in the job-change-thread viewtopic.php?f=19&t=22383&st=0&sk=t&sd=a&start=30 #p144350) or nightmares from which I wake up startled, I do not have them at all! But I should if it was just an emotional thing.
And it really 'feels' electric or electromagnetical to me. Cannot describe it better.

[poème]

Only then. After the experience, PREES even 'sticks' to me when I get up from bed and walk around in my room. It's a strange thing for me that no one else gets them. It is NOT goosebumps by the way: when I have vivid, insightful and emotional dreams (like the series in the night I described in the job-change-thread viewtopic.php?f=19&t=22383&st=0&sk=t&sd=a&start=30 #p144350) or nightmares from which I wake up startled, I do not have them at all! But I should if it was just an emotional thing.
And it really 'feels' electric or electromagnetical to me. Cannot describe it better.

You know, the more I read you about this, the more I think that what I call my «waves» are similar to what you call your «PREES». I say similar, because I know what you mean when you say it is NOT goosebumps. I am sure it is not the case, since even when the sensation is light, it is much stronger than goosebumps. I also feel it as a chilly type of energy (which does kind of feel electric or electromagnetic), but the fact that you get this after re-entering is very different though, perhaps unique to you, indeed, for I always kind of thought it was energy building on, in my case... Perhaps you rebuild the released energy right after re-entry?

[Sinera]

Perhaps you rebuild the released energy right after re-entry?

Possibly something like that. It is definitely a "reintegrational" thing. (Or better: "post-reintegrational" ).

[Sinera]

21/Mar/2010
Aspect Retrieval (Or So)

Since I need to get through 2010 in a hurry, another interesting theme picked out of my diary: the gathering of an aspect of self - but with a big question mark.

Exit after usual vibrations, but this time without helping hands, I seemed then to just lift off again. I did the then usual card check trials (I did this a few times but they never really worked well due to too many fluctuations. I will spare you the torture of reading about those many attempts here.) in my flat and re-entered with ensuing PREE sensations.
Later I manage to do a second exit. This time I 'phase' into an unknown flat. It has a high ceiling, looks like a mansion. I see a man standing there what looks like his bedoom (sheets are tossed in unorderly fashion, bed is not made - looks like s.o. just got up - or like it is in a typical bachelor's flat ). He is almost like a statue. He is in shorts/pants only, big white ones. He is very athletic, muscular and sportive, black hair. I just stands there in his bedroom and looks around (not even sure if he looks at me).

Then something happens that surprises me. But it happens with myself. I ask him who he is. But I give the answer to myself before the 'statue' can answer.

"Oh, it's myself. Ok, come with me."



Comments / Afterthoughts:

I've read a lot about the Shaman concept of retrieving soul-parts or parts/aspects of self, also in Bruce Moen's Afterlife Guide Book you find an extensive chapter on this. I don't have a clue if this is related to this and what's to this concept anyway. So far, I associate "aspects" with the need to find/retrieve or reunite with certain character traits we suppress or even an entire stage of life that was forgotten or suppressed (complete amnesia due to traumatic memories might be an extreme case of this).

I do not understand what led me to these insights ("oh, it's myself"...) at that moment. I do not remember him taking with me or merging with him in any way. I just flew off into another flat at the opposite side of the street. The adventure did not last much longer then and I woke up with PREE, as usual.

When I think about this guy I saw and connect it to aspect (as character trait in this case), the term 'VANITY' comes to my mind at first. I am not very vain, and I am not a little bit more after this experience either. (I AM sportive, although not athletic or muscular, by the way!).
Maybe I am wrong and it was about sth else. But what? Past life? A mistake? A subconscious dream/thought projection of mine? I don't know. What strikes me is the absolute 100% certainty I had at this moment.

Consciousness is a strange thing.

[Sinera]

17/Oct/2010
Time Travel To 2194 (Or Alternative Reality)

This time no "exit" vibes but I get lucid in a dream (a method much rarer for me). I was in a city and then started running around asking the people what year it is because I somehow subconsciously know that it is not my time anymore. Don't ask me why, I just knew that this was the case and I wanted the confirmation and information about the exact date. I could not have known from the looks of the city. It looked pretty 'contemporary'. It was a typical middle-sized to small town.
It seems people did not take me seriously. Who would if s.o. did this in a normal city in physical life? At one point I joke with them and say it is a 1000-dollar-question and I am from a TV show.
One thing, however about this city is different. At the nightsky (it was dark) UFOs or light blobs were flying around, sometimes in strange movements making strange light patterns. No one - except for me - seems to be impressed by it.
Then I ran into a newspaper shop to grab some papers and look at the date there. First at the counter I apologize to the clerk and the people in the queue saying that I dont wanna push past them, I just want to take a look at some flyers. Then I change my mind and go to the newspaper stand. As always the case in nonphysical reality the letters and dates fluctuate. I cannot make out any specific number/date first. Then I see the number 2194. After this realisation I wake up with my usual PREE feelings.

Comments / Afterthoughts

I very often have dreams with ufos/lights flying at the nightsky and people not disturbed by it at all. I also have so-called 'alien invasion' dreams (of the War Of Worlds or Independence Day type) with UFOs flying at the sky and/or landing all over Earth and chasing the people. However these dreams are never fearful for me, it seems I rather create them myself for a kind of self-entertainment.

This one was different though. I cannot imaging that it was really the year 2194. As said, it all looked like a today's small town, except for the lights in the sky. The newspapers even looked older. Maybe it was an alternative reality?
However, the most likely explanation would be an Earth-like Astral realm where people from this time-frame live as they lived before. But how to explain all my fussing about the date? Calendar dates would make no sense on this plane then, after all. Where did my obvious 'knowledge' come from?

Does anyone here have similar experiences on astral planes with being in an "Earth-Present-like" environment, with only a few things changed slightly (such as the UFOs)?

[Sinera]

Note ex ante: In order to get faster through 2010, just two more from the end with interesting 'themes'. I still need, however, to write another important one from November 2010, but it takes a bit longer, so just by exception I will break the chronology here and deliver the missing one later.

14/Dec/2010
Mind-Split & Grabbing Hands In "The Portal"

This one I posted in a thread already in the K.Leland-Thread, too. However, it deserves a mention here, as well, also since it has a more recent 'sequel' (see comments section below). Here is the (slightly shortened) quote from the post of the thread above:

I had done affirmations of two kinds alternatingly before my short nap and while falling asleep. Well, that was probably not a very good idea. I affirmed "I see Ludmilla and know I am dreaming." and "I am out-of-body now."
Affirmations should be clearcut and unequivocal, if not ... that's when things might become messed up. It seems I got a mixture of 1) starting bodily astral projection symptoms and 2) lucidity gaining in a dream simulation in a different "projection type" (mental). Both events simultaneously might have gotten in each others way.

What happened? From a 'normal' dream, I was "waking up" in "bed" in the room of my childhood ("gate"?) again. Actually I was lying there and getting vibrations and/or energy sensations or auric expansions all over my body. Of course, I was semi-lucid again, which means I thought I was in my current home without knowing that it is not my actual living room.

The room seemed lit with bright light, so there would be no reason to fear sth (and I knew I was projecting in the afternoon anyway). Still, sth felt not right. I also had the feeling of a grip of s.o. or sth external around my wrist / lower arm area, on both sides.
It felt a bit 'alien' but I would not consider it a 'neg' in the post-analysis. Anyways, I felt not comfortable anymore, which did not mean I was afraid or terrorised, not at all. But I then decided to do inner energy work to kind of get rid of the pressure and somehow 'cleanse' myself - a bit ridiculous for me now thinking about it.

But now comes the even funnier and stranger part: I then did energy work. In my dream. However, in the dream I was already out of bed, standing straight in that childhood / portal room and doing the energy running thing though my body.
The real comedy is: At the same time I felt myself lying in bed (in the physical) and doing this actual energy work in my physical body. I get the feeling the best thing to describe this is indeed the experience / performance(?) of a kind of MIND-SPLIT.

A while after that I woke up in the physical, still doing a bit of energy work and feeling the warmth and 'aura' around me.

Comments / Afterthoughts

This lucadventure is a little progress for me insofar as it made me feel to be in two bodies at once. It also shows that energy work really is a beneficient thing. It seems that would not have been able to experience this without my continuous energy work training.

I already mentioned the "helping" hands that appeared quite early in my path of lucid adventures. This is now a variant of it. The 'grabbing hands' might also be helping hands, I still have to find out about it, but they are not as pleasant as the first version of my 'early days'. Of course, since I affirmed to meet "Ludmilla", who is a girl that features in several of my dreams, it might indeed have been her. I could not ascertain yet if she (when appearing in my dreams) really is a kind of guide or perhaps a friend or possibly just an astral entity having some fun with me. However, due to newer developments, I have now indeed further clues (but no evidence) that it is her. Stay tuned, more to come.

So, has anyone of you 'been grabbed' in your physical bed or astral bedroom so far?

[Sinera]

18/Dec/2010
Gravity Prison

That year didn't end too well. Here's about one of those times when nothing seems to work. I had posted this already here
viewtopic.php?f=19&t=22558 in a single thread, but it is worth repeating again, as it is a typical theme or 'symptom' of mine. So here is the slightly shortened and re-edited version of it now again:

Finally i managed again to get lucid 100% in a dream. i was in a kind of locker room of my (elementary!) school days. before that i remember I had passed through the shower rooms with the showers also running, some steam was visible. it might be that I saw an old friend of mine from school days in those rooms, but as said I had walked on to the wardrobe locker room of the old primary school. Suddenly, i don't know why and what caused it, but i was standing there and could say to myself "hey, wow, i'm completely lucid". I was perfectly lucid, with ALL my reasoning capabilties it seemed.

I started to do the logical next thing for me and initiated my commands, requests affirmations I wanted to apply in order to reach my goals and destinations I had set before.

The discouraging experience this time: NOTHING worked. Really absolutely nothing!! . I tried to summon my guide. no response. Even later, I called my guide several times for help. nothing happened. I tried the command "higher self now" to get me off this place. Nothing. Then I said I want to get to that place I recently was in a mental projection (that kind of school/library). No result. No matter what I did. I could not get on. I still stood there.

I tried to fly / lift off, I could not get off the ground at all at first, later only a few metres and very slow, just like some astral gravity keeping me back on the ground. It was like in those nightmares where you start to run from sth dreadful but cannot get on fast enough (I did not have these for many years though, and seem to have lost my fear anyway in dreams lately.)

Well, normally I have no problem flying. Sometimes in dreams of the astral it was even the other way round, my dream/astral body wanted to lift off almost automatically and I had to keep "it" on the ground because I did not want to at that moment.

The 'dream' scenes had switched around me. It seemed all like a weird dreamscape, hard to describe. Sometimes I was outside, sometimes in rooms. Sometimes there were people around me. I remember one guy in a Cowboy costume. One girl, also in a kind of costume. Still, all is too incoherent to give any detailed account. No sense, no story line.
And I did not pay much attention to it. I did not talk to the people there because they were dream figures for me, just wanted to lift off and 'start my program' of the many things I had planned.
Maybe that was my mistake? Was it a simulation and I was supposed to speak to some people there? Even ask THEM for help, or to ask about this place I was in there? Maybe get back to the figure of the "old buddy from school" and have a chat with him?

Normally it is said that these commands (asking guides for help, lift-off commands) should work. But they didn't at all. I did a routine hand-check. I counted six fingers at one time (but images flickered as usual). And there is almost always at least one stump finger on the hand. I always have this.

When I get lucid I am happy (understandably) but also I get very hectic, since I always seem to feel hard-pressed for immediate action due to the limited time I seem to have before its over. Maybe getting to hectic is another mistake?

I lost it after a couple of attempts to lift off , struggled against it but failed and woke up with PREES, which hints to the fact that it was another lucidventure.

Comments / Afterthoughts

I know that self-laudation is nothing noble, but I think that 'Gravity Prison' is just a more than perfect title for that one.

I still have problems with gaining speed and/or ease, levity and lightness to manage a 'take-off' during some projections, but I'm working on it. It seems, too often we are bound and kept to the (lower) astral levels. Is it the simulations, that K. Leland talks about? I am not always so sure.
Also, the literature says one has to get rid of thoughts and emotions weighing you down. Maybe I just wasn't ready then and too burdened by my everyday sorrows. Just another hypothesis though.

Does anyone of you have any tricks, techniques for liftoff on the gravity-pressure astral planes?

[Korpo]

Hello, Volgerle.

I don't think it's a matter of gravity. I'd rather think it was a simulation, like you suspected afterward. Actually, when I read about the cowboy you saw I immediately thought "Hold your horses!"

Getting lucid is not the highest goal by itself. If nothing works, neither commands nor calling for someone, the message is probably "stop and think."

The approach where you have all kinds of ideas prepared what you want to do when you get lucid or out of body can be limiting. It usually leads people to ignore their surroundings. Just imagine you were there for a reason, and compare this to the fact that the first thing you wanted is to get away.

Some hints were available, too. Setting it in an elementary school locker room could mean that you were to learn something basic (elementary school) in a locked down environment (a simulation, represented by the locker room). When you went through the shower room first this might have indicated a state of cleanliness sufficient to have a lucid adventure, or a chance to leave something behind (by taking a shower).

You reacted to the overall challenge by trying to overcome it with will. The simulation probably broke down because you were pushing with your will against the limitations imposed for the sake of the simulation.

Possible courses of actions could have been that you stopped and asked out loud what needed to be done there. If hints had appeared then or something would have drawn your attention, you could have investigated. Be a sleuth - find out what's going on. Be inquisitive and curious. It helps.

Not every experience or simulation will be like this. Trying to figure them out while they happen can be a good way forward. There's no "scheme" to follow, just openminded inquiry.

Cheers,
Oliver

[Korpo]

PS - another intepretation is possible as well:

The shower room was intended for you to cleanse yourself before being allowed access to the wider astral plane. Since you didn't shower you couldn't get there, you ended up being "locked up" in the locker room - at least in terms of the usual mobility.

Emotional hygiene is a basic part (elementary) of the astral training (school). The whole scenario would then be a simulation. It is not unusual to meet no one in early simulations or have no one to talk to. Seeing and interacting with entities is different from interacting with dream characters, I think, in that it needs to be learned.

Cheers,
Oliver