Re: Integration of Awakening Support/Help
Originally Posted by
lazarusx
all my psychological and emotional issues began to rise towards the surface, in the initial stages of this transition.. my emotions were so uncontrollable, and my thoughts so distant that i struggled to live life in the same way i had previously, i fell into immense depression and unusual states of psychosis..
Been there, done that. Not uncommon, actually, as part of spiritual awakening.
Originally Posted by
lazarusx
I understood i needed to become intimate with myself, all that was light.. and dark.
I did this, without clear understanding, prior to the aforementioned uncontrollable emotions and so on.
It seems that while there are usually distinct and universal "ingredients" in the process of spiritual awakening, they don't always go in the same order or stages. I find that really interesting.
Originally Posted by
lazarusx
i've come to accept and embrace transformation, my own dis-identification from thought and emotion is becoming more prominent, i feel less identified with my finite reality, and more with my infinite true self.
*nod* I just wanted to acknowledge this. And to note that you put it into words very well. I find it extremely difficult at times to articulate these things, because language is simply insufficient. You did well.
Originally Posted by
lazarusx
Which brings me to my situation; the disidentifcation that has begun to arise recently has created much confusion with how i see myself in relation to the world. For the first time in my life i do not find myself identified with anything outside of myself, which is unbelievably liberating.. but i havnt experienced this enough to 'realize' it yet, so i may be resting within a state of 'being' and then suddenly become pulled out of that witness state to identify with a finite object which consequently cause's extreme suffering on my behalf. I know this is going to be a journey of endurance that must be approached with compassion and love, but any support or advice would be greatly appreciated.
I understand completely. In my experience (which may not be universal, but it's the only place from which I can speak), it's simply a matter of practice and time and finding a balance. I struggled with balance for quite some time, but eventually equilibrium was achieved, and now my point of focus of awareness generally hovers somewhere in the realm I call "not-self" (essentially an observer state), and while I do move back into the material with some regularity, and occasionally expand into the Void and Oneness and other such states that defy common description, I always seem to return to the not-self position as a default. It's where I (who is not actually "I", but you know, words ) spend most of my waking time these days.
This happened naturally, as things started to "settle", so I don't really have any great advice on how to facilitate it. Just allow it to unfold as it will, and try not to get in your own way.
May the light surround you, may you be blessed. May the light surround us, may we be blessed. May love and light surround us all, and may we all be healed and blessed. And so it is, and so it shall be, now and ever after.
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