Defectrons obe journal

[Korpo]

Hello, defectron.

Paragraphs, please! Solid blocks of text are so hard to read...

When you were pulled eastward I kind of expected you to end up higher, not lower. What interesting confirmation.

In one experience I turned an airplane westward and landed in a plain, which from above was labelled "The Badlands" (the lower astral realms, most likely). There I encountered an angry mob...

[defectron]

Well it might have to do with impressions. The back of my house is facing east, and I think I might tend to associate things in front of the house with moving forward since that's the direction its facing.

Anyway I had a new projection today. In this one I came out and noticed a chair sitting in the hallway for some reason, the sparring partner guide from my earlier projection was waiting for me in the room downstairs. He seems to have trimmed down on the fat as he was solid muscle this time, towering twenty feet tall.

As I came down the stairs he shrunk down to only about 8 feet tall and I asked him if he knew anyone who could help me remember what I needed to know from the past life. He said "Maybe, but it would probably better if you see a doctor to help with that" presumably he means I should get past life regression. Anyway we went over to the kitchen where I think he was looking for something around the dishwasher. He then said something odd "Don't worry about the snakes Mario I mean Anna". Neither of those are my name, though had I been born a girl I hear that Anna would have been my name. But anyway it ended after that. I guess I'll have to look into past life regression since he said I would be free of travel restrictions once whatever this issue is gets worked out.

[defectron]

I had a new projection today

I went downstairs and found the guide who looked like my mom. On december 7th I'm going to do a past life regression and hopefully get these issues ironed out so I can go free. I asked her if she had anything left to teach me before the time came for me to go out in the astral on my own. She said "what your doing is pretty danerous so be careful." and then she went on to say "Sometimes in the past when I called you, you didn't answer, maybe this means you have some self esteem problems. I do recall through my life I have occasionally heard voices calling me. In the past I did have some self esteem issue but I thought I had worked through those, but now that I think of it I do think there might be some left so I should probably try to take care of that. Anyway after that I went outside and went by thegarage, an indevidual who looked like my biological father was there. I don't know if it was really him or another guide who just looked like him. I asked him the same question and he took me through some martial arts katas which I had alot of trouble keeping up with unfortunately, I think this means I should work on self defense some more. If I have any more projections before the regression I'll most likely focus on defense techniques since all my guides seem to be saying that when I do go free finnally I can expect to run into some unsavory characters sooner or later, so it would be best to be ready I think.

[defectron]

Today I hada short projection, I figured I would practice some astral skills in any projections before I'm let free, so I tried to change my form to that of a wolf. It only partially reverted before I went back to normal though. I wonder why I can almost never change properly.

[defectron]

I had a new projection today. I'm kind of hesitant to post the details of it given that it involves something personal that I don't really feel comfortable talking to alot of people about, but at the same time I kind of feel like its a story that needs to be told for a number of reasons. So I'm not sure if I want to post it.

But yeah in this projection I met up with my guides to find out the secrets of changing ones form in the astral since this was something that I never really got down. I still don't really have it mastered but after the information they gave me I think I'm closer anyway, hopefully I'll be able to get it down fully in the near future since it'd be handy ability to have once I get free reign of the astral.

[Beekeeper]

This is something I'd like to accomplish deliberately. I've found myself in numerous different human forms but I've never consciously altered myself. I'd particularly like to try to acquire an animal shape so I can experience reality from that perspective.

[defectron]

If you want to see something from an animals pov I'm not sure how accurate this would be as the realism level in the astral in relation to the physical seems to be something that fluctuates alot.

But anyway I did a shaman journey just now and the feeling I got while doing that is that I'm supposed to reveal the full details of what happened, and of course there's also that recent projection where my guide said I should have more confidence in areas where I have questionable self esteem which I think also means I should. I still don't really feel like doing so but I don't want to go against something that my guides seem to want me to do so here's what the deal is. Before I start I have something to admit, ever since I was a kid, for unknown reasons I've always felt the need to be the opposite gender. So of course when I did project and had the opportunity to try shape changing, this of course would be something I would sometimes experiment with. Though this isn't the only reason why I try shape changing as I mentioned in the projection prior to this I also try to change into some animal or monster forms sometimes. I think it's kind of important, because I read in Konstantinos book "summoning spirits" that if you change into something like a dragon in the astral most negs won't bother you not to mention in Sun Tsus the art of war one of the battle strategys is to avoid confrontations by appearing more powerful then you are so it was certainly something that I wanted to perfect before going free from the simulations. Anyway when I came out I remembered the other days failed attempt at morphing into a wolf, so I decided to go get some advice from the guides in how to do this right. I went down tot he basement and found them both in it. They were sort of like "You again? What is it?" they seemed a bit annoyed that I came to bother them again before going through the past life regression, but this was an issue I felt needed attention so I asked "How come I usually have trouble changing form in the astral?"

One of the guides went on to explain that if for example if I wanted to change gender as I sometimes attempted to do in the astral I needed to change from masculine to feminine energy, or something like that I don't remember the specifics of what she said very well, but I seem to recall it had something to do with that. So I decided to give what they said a try and it worked, I changed gender and also got blonde hair for some reason, after that I tried to grow a giant scorpion tail, but this didn't work so well, so I think some things still need to get worked out even though I got closer to being able to do this well. But anyway since I changed into a girl I guess my guide gave me some astral beauty tips saying if I pass my fingertips through my hand and concentrating on the nails I could get pretty nails that way. I tried this and it seemed to work, though some of them looked like they were cut a bit unevenly afterwards. And that was pretty much where that ended.

Anyway yeah this is actually something that used to worry me alot as it always seemed like a strange thing to want. I was worried that when I met dead relitives in the astral theyed think I was some kind of a weirdo for having that sort of interest. This was actually one of the early issues I had to work through when first projecting , I was worried that it was wrong that I felt that way and needed to somehow stop feeling the need to be the opposite gender if I wanted to make progress projecting. But this wasn't the case at all. I came to realize that the universe doesn't care if you feel that way and came to accept it as just another aspect of who I was. This though was the first projection where the issue was really openly addressed though. And it feels good to know that its alright to feel that way. Even though it's their job to do so, I have to say I'm really grateful to have such understanding guides. Even though I didn't always agree with their teaching methods I ended up learning alot stuff from them and this time spent before being released to freely astral travel was well spent. Seriously I never wanted to give a non corporeal entity a hug as much as now.

[poème]

I enjoyed reading your post, especially your last paragraph... It seems so heartfelt and rings very true to me also

[defectron]

I had another projection today

When I came out I tried morphing into a wold, I could feel myself beginning to shift but then quickly reverted back to normal. I then decided that I should try something a bit easier so I tried swapping genders again, but try as I might I was unable to duplicate the success of the other day. There have only been three times in my memory of the astral I was able to intentionally make a full body shift to something else, ironically one of those times was a giant praying mantis. I wonder what it was I did differently then that allowed me to do that which I screwed up on the other occasions. Anyway after getting a bit frustrated with my lack of success I decided to go look for my guides again to see if they could run by what they said the other day again since it seemed I might be missing something. I went up to some random fellow coming out of my house and asked him and he took me over to a waiting room where I ran into some guy who looked like a former co-worker. I had a seat in the waiting room and began waiting, I was getting bored so I began to telekinetically knock over a bunch of toys on the other side of the room. I then decided I would try duplicating the trick I did witht he magnefying glass ray coming out of my hand int he sparring projection. Except this time I cupped both of my hands together envisioning a much larger magnefying glass ray coming out but then someone told me not to do that here. I was like "ok" so I sat back down, a bit later I tried to shoot a regular magnifying glass ray out of one hand, but it didn't seem to be working so well. One difference is what I was trying to shoot was on the other side of the room while last time it was only a couple inches away so I wonder if that makes a difference. I got a bit annoyed that it wasn't working so I then tried to focus the energy into a fireball, but then something odd happened. Something that looked like the fireball was beginning to manifest, but I had a feeling it was no longer under my control. Had I accidently birth a thought form? Before I could fully take form I dissapated it. This is the last I remember of this projection.

[defectron]

Before I get to todays projection, I have a story to tell about the events of yesterday where I went to see a spirit guide communicator.

I went over to the chicago occult bookstore where she had a session where she communicated with guides of various people around the table.

When she got to me she had some interesting thing to say. First of all she mentioned the guides that she saw was a wold, three dogs a cat a fox, a coyote as well as some other sin the background she couldn't see very well. Now in my projections my guides mostly assume human forms, though one guide did reveal that she was actually a cat who learned how to shapeshift in the 17th century. Though one interesting thing is that the guide who looks like my step dad tends to make dog noises whenever I'm doing something wrong, this was something I never put into place until she said this.

But yes anyway we went on to disscuss several issues, mainly my desire to overcome physical reality. My guides are in complete support of this she says, I suspected this may have been the case since not once have they told me what I was trying to do was wrong. Though she said they want me to think about why I want to do that and that I should make more of an effort to teach what I have learned to others which I will try to do. I'll make another topic about that later. My main reason for wanting to do so is that I believe doing so is the next step in human evolution. And she said my guides agreed with that sentiment. Now as we were going over this she said the guides communicated my desire to survive any physical disaster so I could acheieve this goal within this lifetime. This is also true, one concern is the global superstorm whitley strieber mentions in his book the key. I already decided that if this was real I would find some way to overcome it and fullfill my goals. One the reasons I'm motivated to get this going in the near future is because I believe there's a decent possibility this may actually occur within our lifetime.

She then went on to say that while its good I've been doing alot off the physical world, now is the time to bring the heavens to the earth if I am to fullfill this goal. This is also a sentiment I believe in myself lately I've been trying to skry so that I can make contact with entities the occultists konstantinos and E. A koetting go on about in their books so they can teach me their secret techinques. This effort she said is good and that I should keep working on it. She said I need to work on mind, breath and core. For mind I think she meant mental discipline as one thing she mentioned is that when shapeshifting one can sometimes lose themselves if they don't have it. And for breath I'm guessing this is a meditation technique, I think I might know which one in particular as someone at the occult bookstore also gave me information about a meditation class which he said would be useful in developing the "radiant body" which the master of the key goes on about in whitley striebers book. For those who never read it the mystery man known as the master of the key mentions something called a radiant body which gets developed as someone spiritually evolves and must be fully developed to attain the abilities that I am trying to get. Lastly was core, I don't know what she meant by that and plan to do some research on it , if anyone reading this has any ideas feel free to share them.

After this we disscussed several more personal things that have been bugging me, first is why I was told not to investigate omer plains with my freinds on haloween. The answer we got was that overall we just weren't really prepared and that the girl we were bringing with us may havve gotten jacked up by some of the things in that area.

Next I asked about my experience going to the alien planet, she said that time I had split myself into two pieces since my conciousness was one place and my astral body was in another but that according the guides that planet is a physical place. Very interesting, I'll have to make an effort to go back there sometime.

Lastly I asked if I was ready to visit the akashic record, her response was that my guides said I was. So then the real test would come in the next projection, in the past I always got blocked. My guides tell me that once I work past whatever issue is in my past life I can go where I want. So I was holding off on trying to project until the regression since I figured it would be wasteful of my supplements if I used them to project a bunch of times before I was allowed to go to the interesting places. but if what she said was true maybe the mere intention of resoving this problem in the near future was enough to get me permission? I couldn't deny she was right about alot of other things. So I figured it would be worth a try.

So anyway I came out to day and went over to the room but before I could try to find the door I got buried in a bunch of clothes. I came out again later and gave it another try, I got in the door this time but where I ended up didn't look like the akashic record, it was some ladys house somewhere. I kind of wandered through this odd house for awhile before going back to my body. Well at least it appeared my travel in the regular astral plain might have some of its restrictions removed in the past when they were on all the way I just wouldve ended up in a closet. But anyway I came out again and tried going to the akashic record using another method which was going outside and willing myself to the place I was trying to go. I shot off heading to the west, but like last time I just crashed and ended up in my bed again. After that I went downstairs and asked my guides "Whats the deal? Was the guide interpreter wrong?" they didn't answer that question but they did say that they would be willing to take me tot he record. So we went outside and we were about to get into a car to go there and I asked what the deal was with why I couldn't just go on my own. My guide gestured to some dark clouds off in the distance that seemed to have laughing faces on them and said "it's because of the madness and the m(something else that starts with m, either manners or monsters)" I was about to ask what she meant when I went back to my body. So was the guide interpreter wrong? While I couldn't go on my own my guides seemed perfectly willing to take me there so I'm not sure if she was right or not. Now the question is if whatever those clouds symbolized relates to whatever this past life issue is. I've gotta say if I work out this past life stuff and it turns out there's something else I need to work through even though I was promised I could go out after dealing with whatever this past life business is I'm going to be a little annoyed. So hopefully once I do the regression I'll be able to solve whatever this problem is and there won't be anything else I need to deal with. I also seem to recall attempting to go to the physical plain at some point but I don't remember very well how that went.