Beekeeper's Adventures in Consciousness

[Beekeeper]

Noticing again how a random thought seems connected with things that rapidly manifest. Here's just one example: I think, Whatever came of Bird Flu? I wonder if they still have their emergency procedures for outbreaks. There's no stimulus to this thought; I just think it out of the blue. Within an hour I see an item on TV on how some scientists have mutated the virus to make it more contagious. They discuss the dangers and ethics of such a move.

This keeps happening with varying timeframes.

[Beekeeper]

7^th January, 2012.
Saturday

I don’t really know what happened last night. The dreams themselves don’t seem to have been all that revelatory but there were some fairly pronounced energy sensations and hypnagogics the minute my head hit the pillow. I wouldn’t say these were warranted by a whole lot of energy work on my part, though I had been teaching a yoga class each day for the three days prior. I’m on a bit of a holiday from the metaphysical as well as from work, happily immersing myself in the physical. Subsequently, I went to bed over-stimulated and with a still-active mind and pretty much writing off the possibility of decent dream recall.

“Dream Editing”
I did wake up after one dream during the night and tried to recall it. The funny thing was that I could remember what it was about (then) without really remembering any visual imagery to go with the story. I even asked myself if I was just making it up but, obviously, it had come from somewhere.

The last dream had me cast, as if for a television programme set in the 80s, as a female love interest in a triangle. I decided that I didn’t really like that plot – it was too unsympathetic to one of the male characters - so I kind rewrote it and took him out of the triangle.

There was a scene where I went to lunch with my partner in the dream and he only brought one plate of food to share. Again, I wasn’t happy with this scenario and noted that from now on I’d buy all my own meals and make my own decisions as this dream persona.

We lived in a town where the cinema was just up the road and we were headed there when the dream ended. I had to get up and go teach a class.

[Beekeeper]

9^th January, 2012.
Monday
“Casework”
I’m some kind of caseworker for a young woman, driving a car full of unknown people to a place I need to be. There is a name that keeps appearing on the street signs, always the same name though I’m not sure what it is now (Charles?) and I tell the people in the car that I know that is the name of the street where I need to be.

Now I’m in charge of a baby girl and there’s a feeling she’s the case I’m working on, although she was older at the beginning of the dream. Another person with me, a woman who looks like Louise, one of the pre-school teachers who worked at my sons’ day care centre when they were babies, tells me the baby’s nappy is soiled. I’ve already noticed and begin to change her, laying her over a change mat on the boot of the car. Others move about me, trying to help but all they manage to do is bump me so I become soiled with the baby’s faeces, some of which had already gotten on my hands and now my arm. I tell them to give me room and that I’ll need to wash.

“Future Place”
I’m in some kind of futuristic environment - not too distant. Some of this I’ve forgotten but the dream seems to follow the experiences of some family members. One, as a boy, flies a model plane well beyond the expectations of what a model plane would do. As if this part is a movie I hear G say something like, “Well he’s the one who grows up to be a fighter pilot.” I see he's about to trick his brothers in some way, when he finds them out on a bridge getting up to mischief, each taking a leak in a bottle. He tells them to make sure they give him the bottles because he wants to drink and I know in watching him he’s going to do something they won’t like but that he’ll find hilarious.

Now I’m a character too. I’m before a squat, dark grey machine that doesn’t look at all hi tech. Suddenly it starts a read out and another woman, a medical type comes along. She smiles in delight because the machine is giving a read-out on my health - it apparently selects people at random. It appears she’s a doctor and the back story is that I wouldn’t allow her to do a breast check and now she’ll know what she wants to know.

Note: IWR I have a friend who gives mammograms who has pressured me to get one. I’ve resisted because I’ve read and heard some negative things about the procedure and I want to minimise my exposure,especially when I'm considered low risk. Recently a friend posted a link on FB for free mammograms for women under 50, I guess that seeded this part of the dream.

[Beekeeper]

10^th January, 2012.
Tuesday.

“Daniel locked in”
I just remember the last part of this dream. It’s about a talented boy I taught in my first couple of years of teaching and directed in musicals who grew up to be an actor. In this dream the art teacher from back in that time and somebody else plans to lock him inside the gym (?). I don’t know how I fit in this dream exactly. I tell Sandra that she shouldn’t lock him in but she seems to think he has a lesson coming for some reason*. She walks to an exit and pulls down a black blind, which apparently locks Daniel (and presumably me) in. Daniel seems unperturbed.

* Sandra wasn’t like that but I think she featured in my dream because I saw a photo of someone that reminded me of her yesterday.

“Searching for Carmen”
I’m looking for Carmen’s house for a party (I was invited to her baby’s christening yesterday). I’ve come so far following the map but now I’m uncertain. I find myself in an unfamiliar place (it’s “Kernel” in the dream) with a long pier made of dark grey metal jutting out into an ocean I barely notice. I’ve rung G on the phone and I’m looking at the map where I’ve scribbled the address in pencil. I only remember the number now, 4, though there’s a temporary moment where I think it’s 5. I tell G I think I’m close and I think I’ll walk the rest of the way but I’m not sure of my orientation. For at least part of this conversation he appears to be with me physically. Then H is there too and there’s a lot of fog or smoke around us. I tell him to “go inside” because I don’t want him breathing it.

Now I’m inside an apartment complex. There’s something about one of the apartments belonging to Carmen. I walk into a common area where two actors are performing something modern and maybe absurdist. One is a plump, balding male in his sixties.

I realize I’ll not find the party in this complex; I need to return to my starting point and follow through with my initial plan. I walk some more and find myself in a busy transportation hub with an arching ceiling and trains operating. I’m a bit confused by this because I hadn’t noticed any railway infrastructure on first look.

[Beekeeper]

12^th January, 2012
Thursday

Can only remember the last one now – (too many yoga classes and I sleep so heavily).

I’m at Brent and Kylie’s* and decide I want to get into bed with them. Their bedroom doesn’t have the correct orientation and seems to be in the northwest but up at the same level (which is impossible because of the layout of the tri-level home). I jump in and I’m feeling affectionate and silly and give them a good cuddle. In doing so, I displace the blankets and see Kylie is just in her undies. From this information I somehow assume the two were about to become amorous and I’m embarrassed now that I disturbed their intimacy but they don’t seem to mind ~

I’m outside with Brent and we’re watching hundreds of UFOs in the sky. Some are really peculiar, one reminding me of a metallic(?) prawn - sort of. It seems kind of shaggy – hard to envision now. I comment on their variety and the rare event of seeing the prawn-like one.

*These guys are a young couple that became our tenants when we couldn’t sell our house (which Kylie’s parents subsequently bought). In the way these things go, Brent got a job at my former workplace and needed a place for his family to live. He was working with my husband and we all became friends, a relationship probably deepened when Brent ran afoul of some individuals and became victim to the poor management there and subsequently had to find himself a new job.

[Beekeeper]

13^th January, 2012.
Friday

“The old guy”

Partially recalled.

I’m driving a car but I’m either too small or slumped down and I can’t see where I’m going. There’s an older man in the passenger seat, like a father figure but not quite. He’s urging me to drive. It appears a police car pursues but then it doesn’t. The father figure has somehow taken care of it.

We’ve reached our destination. I cannot remember enough about the place except that I pick up a baby, which I think must be mine. I carry her outside to continue the journey and I’m on a wooden porch. I hear the old man warn me and begin to feel a falling sensation, which I’m able to withdraw from because of the old man’s call. I look down and see a hole in the porch that I almost dropped through.

“Dog food”
I’m feeding the dog and find myself located in the backyard at my childhood home#. For some reason I’m giving her food out of a tin (I mix a bagged food with cooked vegetables for my dog IWR). Something’s not right. I notice a small swarm of bees on the back step (which is wrongly located around the side). They form a knob and they’re hardly moving. I wonder if the bees are dying and, if so, why. ~

A white bulldog has wandered into the front yard. The gate is open and Bella is wandering through to encounter the other dog#. I don’t know I can trust her and I attempt to grab her by the collar so I can hold her while I close the gate. She’s not wearing her collar and the gate is the heavy, sagging thing from my childhood home. ~

When I loosen the food out of the tin, I notice a larger tin has been emptied previously and she hasn’t touched it. I don’t want to leave this older dog food there to go bad so I pick it up and carry it a short distance across the yard. I find a small squared off maze dug into the ground and I figure it’s some game my brother has been playing. I throw the dog food in there, even though it’s not exactly burying it.

#Recurring. Has triggered lucidity in the past.
~Indicates where there’s a lack of continuity in the narrative structure of the dream.

“Weirdness at Linda’s class”
I’m in the yoga studio with Linda and Wolfgang and few other women. It appears we’re there for a class by Linda except we seem to have been present for well over an hour and she hasn’t started.

A lady gives me some cheesecake to try and I accept it. I notice it’s a mixture of creamy and cakey in texture but I don’t really experience its taste.

Now I notice Linda appears to be teaching something. Has she been doing so all along? This doesn’t look like any yoga I know; it’s more dance-like. I notice a garter on her thigh with a really big frilly flower on it and her thigh is unusually chubby. I’m confused: how has this come about? Does the lesson break down again with Wolfgang entering and talking about something like cleaning the studio?

[Korpo]

You seem to pick up a lot of babies in the course of your dreams.

[Beekeeper]

God, they never stop, Oliver! I swear I was a midwife or a wet nurse in a past life!

15^th January, 2012.
Sunday.

“The Entertainers”

I live on a busy road and I’m heading into town where I’ll find shops to entertain me. I ride my bike and I’m extremely swift, loving the feeling of flow and movement. ~

I’m home with Mum and I tell her I bought some foundation makeup that will match my skin tones better now I’ve become brown with summer. Mum is annoyed because she wanted me to have something more expensive done to my skin, like a peel or something. This actually feels like the childhood pressure I felt from my mother when she had ideas about what would be beneficial and enhancing for me and I would resist, feeling her additions were unnecessary. I look in the mirror and see that I’m freckly, younger, plump-faced and red haired. I don’t think too much of it other than a vague notion that I don’t remember looking this way. I try to apply the new makeup but it doesn’t really cover the freckles – it’s not right for my new complexion. In any case I justify it to Mum. ~

I want something again so I’m on my bike speeding into town. ~

I’m flying now and loving it. For fun I materialize a broom and fly witch style. I speak to other people as I pass them ~

I’m looking in a display cabinet. Once upon a time there were things here that represented me but no more. Now there are many small items, many of them belonging to a band of children performers. There is the occasional brooch making a stylised letter that I can read. I look but there’s nothing of mine left and then another person is beside me so I leave because I don't feel like sharing the space. I wonder why nobody steals from the cabinet as it’s unsecured.

I’m in a playground and feel like I’m semi on duty. I begin to sing, making up a song, loud and booming and fabulous. I’m feeling creative: the tune is catchy and the lyrics roll. They’re about a woman, an ordinary housewife, but somehow the lyrics become a tribute - not quite, however, The Ballad of Lucy Jordan because there’s much more humour. I surprise myself with what comes out of my mouth (as happens in WR when I make up a song on the spot for my own pleasure). I attract some of the children and continue to sing without self-consciousness. They seem entertained and I’m enjoying showing off as one does entertaining children; enjoying the fun they’re experiencing. I stop singing and talk to some girls.* ~

Now an understanding unfolds: these children are entertainers. They’re special, gifted children, like Michael Jackson, but there’s also a slight underlying sense of something not quite right about their environment and carers.~

I’m leaving the house again, getting on my bike. Something’s wrong: I’ve forgotten something like makeup or clothes or shoes. I go back to the place of the children.

I’m indoors with the children. A younger boy sits to my right on a couch and smothers me with affection. That’s what I feel: a starving for affection, attention and entertainment. I want to help them. I can feel that they want to come with me.~

Outside now, I look for my bike in a big, empty car park surrounded by wire mesh. I can’t find it but there’s a bus there now so I guess I’ll board that instead. The children are there and I sit towards the back among them. As we travel I briefly worry about my bike being left behind or is it that I am shoeless?

I’m facing backwards on my seat and start to entertain the children with psychokinesis. At first I make something fly out of the hand of a child behind me into my hand. There’s some surprise and enjoyment but I can see they want to see it again and figure out the trick. So, I send whatever-it-was (food?) back. There’s some delight so I continue. Now various children want me to take something from their hands and make it fly. I indulge them, ending with a boy diagonally across the aisle. There’s a voiceover like a documentary as we pass some bushes. It explains that the flowers on a bush once grew pink but now they’re brown – they start off brown because the plant is old. G takes their attention now, putting a flower into his mouth and showing them how to such the nectar out.~

I’m at a café and there’s one of the entertainer children there. I spot her and then another approaches. They’re too old to belong to the troop. I know I will help them find a place to live.

*Recently some former students were in a yoga class I gave. They’re 19 now and I taught them in junior high school. It was nice catching up.

One of the girls, who came first on her own and returned with the other, was struck down severely with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, from which she still suffers. During her illness became friends with another girl with a terminal disease, whom ultimately died. Tegan turned to art to express her pain and so discovered a talent she didn’t know she had and the path of the artist is the path she has subsequently chosen.

Additional note:

I'm posting this now because we took off to Sydney pretty soon after I typed it. It was interesting that in Sydney every step we took seemed to lead us to some kind of artistic expression. We stopped in Charles Billich's art gallery, found ourselves at some markets where a spray-can artist gave a display and where we watched a street performer. Later we headed to Circular Quay and saw more performers. In the evening we wandered the streets and kept find sculptures and installations that were nothing short of delightful.

Between time, when we took a rest in our room, I switched on the TV and watched a documentary on the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and then on the Pixar animators. It was as if everything lined up to suggest art and creativity and the joys these things create in the world.

[Beekeeper]

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Birdcage installation - one of the things we discovered wandering down the lanes of Sydney. Surreal.

[Beekeeper]

17^th January, 2012.
Tuesday

“Three Sisters”

I’m looking at an A4 size photo of Elle Macpherson and her two sisters. I interpret them as dressed for a wedding, though it may be they’re dressed all three as bridesmaids as I can’t see one as a bride. As it look at the image on the paper in my hand it changes every few seconds like a screen saver or a newspaper image in Harry Potter.

Note: I have no idea why I would have this dream. I wasn’t even sure Elle Macpherson had two sisters – I knew about the older one but not the younger one.

“Work Anxiety”
I’ve just taught a class in a room and another teacher, a woman I don’t know, has entered and is preparing to use the space. I don’t know where I’m supposed to be and I’m scrutinizing my timetable but I cannot read in this dream. Eventually I make a decision and head to a classroom. Inside the students are male and female.



While I'm here, I should revisit 10th January, 2012, “Searching for Carmen” because it had precognitive qualities. Our family went to a place called Cataract Dam for a picnic a few days after the dream. It was something G suggested out of the blue and we hadn't been there before.
Some parts of the experience felt strangely familiar, even though there weren't exact correspondences to the dream:
* "...with a long pier made of dark grey metal jutting out into an ocean I barely notice," was actually a grey bridge across the dam made of darkened sandstone.
* "I’ve rung G on the phone and I’m looking at the map where I’ve scribbled the address in pencil." We left the dam sooner than intended because there were signs saying "no dogs" and G was losing his nerve. G was driving and didn't want to go home yet. He was looking for a lookout he'd heard of but passed it and announced that he didn't know where we were. I asked if he wanted me to get out the sat nav but he worked it out using his sense of direction. As we discussed checking a map, we passed a coal transport track that seemed to be in the middle of nowhere and H asked what it was for - "I’m a bit confused by this because I hadn’t noticed any railway infrastructure on first look." He told me he knew where we were now and it was not far from Heath and Courtney's place. I stated that wasn't far from my friend Carmen either, as she coincidentally lives on the same street: “Searching for Carmen.”