Beekeeper's Adventures in Consciousness

[istia]

“Hotelier...”
I’m a man but not disturbed by it as I usually am when I discover this in dreams. Essentially, I feel I’m the same person. I’m operating a hotel and I’ve just finished cleaning out in the foyer. I ask a female assistant to find me three motherly women to complete a job for me. They arrive and I instruct them that it’s their task to greet the visitors warmly. They are happy to do it and set off determinedly. I’m pleased with their response.

Male&female appearences in dreams for me often have to do with the balance of our inner yin+yang energies. (the more when we look at a dream from the thesis/view that all dream-actors are an inner self-part) To me it seems a strong contrast you`ve choosed here. Here you are 1 male who calls 3 female (on top motherly females, which means a lot of yin) to complete a job for you. Yin-qualities are expressed in absorptive and receptive,- rather than in active or mental, qualities. Is it possible that you are currently looking for or trying to generate more yin-energy+qualities to be in balance?

[Beekeeper]

Thank you, Istia. I welcome any insights related to gender in my dreams. I often have dreams of the nature where male and female qualities are represented. Usually, it's the male aspects that I have difficulty manifesting/accepting/ integrating but this seems a good sign then.

[Kali's Child]

I would call this dream a good sign too. I've not had a dream where I was female, but I did have one where a woman and I were grooming each other, and when we turned to look in the mirror our heads were on the same body. This is something straight out of an alchemical text!

[Beekeeper]

Wow, that is interesting, KC. You do have interesting dreams!

If anyone wishes to direct me to somewhere I can read/listen to all about alchemy in a straightforward uninitiated way, I would be grateful.

[Kali's Child]

'Jung & the Alchemical Imagination' by Jeffery Raff is a pretty fantastic book.

I believe I told you before about the experience I had being perplexed by a BIG dream and then reading the same dream in a book a few days later, right? This was the book!

[Beekeeper]

Yes, you did. Okay, that sounds great!

[Beekeeper]

29^th July, 2011.
Friday
“The Doctor, the Little Girl and Pursuing Bella.”
I’m at the doctors. He’s an unusual looking man, slightly plump with squinty eyes. He seems to be foreign somehow, maybe from Russia. I’m waiting for him but he’s busy. Apparently, in the past, he has fixed my vision and now I’ve come to him for help with my hearing.

In the waiting room is a little girl with long blond hair. She’s about 10 and has found a colouring book that I’d flicked through previously. She’s not drawn to any of the images because they depict things like the sky with clouds and sun and, on another page, a repeating pattern meant to represent rain. I can see the artistry in them but I also understand why a child wouldn’t. She settles on the page with the sun and the clouds but she thinks there won’t be much she can do in regards to colour on that page. Someone has started it already though, using yellow and orange for the sun. We talk about how it doesn’t have to be a blue sky with white clouds, how she can include sunset colours like pinks and red and orange. This pleases her and she sets to colouring.

My dog suddenly takes my attention as it streaks through the doctor’s office and down a corridor. Without questioning why I’ve even brought her, I head off in pursuit. We’re outside, running by a suburban backyard. I see two black cats stalking various birds (IRL yesterday, Bella pursued a cat that was stalking birds in the forest). It’s all very vivid and I notice an unusual type of chicken with an odd head shape. I notice it has offspring and the head changes slightly as the bird matures but both birds have a red head.

“Adventures with Rose”
There’s something on at work. The boys are lining up at various doors to get tickets to something. Physically, the school is unrecognisable with a different configuration of buildings to RL. I hop on a line and I’m quickly at the front but when I start to go through the door I baulk, unsure if I’m entering an area that’s private for the boys such as a change shed (locker room). Again I get on a line but fail to see it to the end of the process.

Now I’m with Rose P, the language teacher. We’re having lunch at a small table in a public venue with Rose’s husband (whom I’ve never met IRL) and two strangers. Apparently we’re sharing a table because there’s a shortage. I’m trying to understand the nature of the lines. Rose is a bit impatient with me but explains that the boys were lining to buy tickets to some kind of women’s sporting event. I assume it will happen at the school but she corrects me, surprised that I really know nothing about this big event. Rose has bought tickets but I have no interest.

Now I’m at Rose’s house. I’m looking at a long shelf against a wall with a row of pottery and glass jars and vases on it. I detect some movement and then a little display begins. Little people in fairy tale dress begin to pop up out of the vases. They’re quite mesmerising to witness because of the human way they move. I try to figure out is they’re puppets or mechanical wind-ups. They’re quite amazing.

Now I’m sitting on a sofa or possibly something wider like a bed. Rose’s “children,” two boys sit with us and I think G is to my left as a silent presence. IRL, I imagine Rose’s children would be adults and I don’t even know if she has children. I notice one boy in particular, a slightly pudgy child of about 8, who sits diagonally opposite me. In post dream lucidity, I realise he’s a child version of the doctor from the previous dream. I interact with him and, in the abbreviated way of dreams, he’s suddenly right next to me and I’m tickling him on the tummy. He responds with laughter but I know that he’s not really feeling anything at all.

G’s snoring wakes me. I try to return to sleep but, because G has a cold, his snoring is continuous. I relax myself and eventually some hypnogogics result. I see a vision screen but it seems to be floating off at an angle rather than flat like a movie screen. I’m waiting for it to align normally planning to phase but the snoring is too loud and too persistent and then the clock radio sounds.

[istia]

Ahh thanks for clear it up, Beekeeper. So its more the other way around.
I myself have had lately also male/female dreams which was quite new to me as there appeared Hermaphrodit-like beings several times, so to say male+female in one. Dont know, but had the feeling that it either shows that I could not yet decide which quality/ energy rather to express, or it was a symbol for that there happens some sort of equilibruum of both energies. In fact when I look at what had happened lately in reality it is as well a kind of indecision/inbetween these 2 energies as also I feel a much stronger union of male&female within than before, expecially referring to a certain life-situation. Its funny or a paradox or just life with its exciting journey through reality and other-world-experiences as a multi-level-being, whereby learning&growing never stops

[Beekeeper]

Interesting, Istia. I think it's good that you're aware of these energies within and you're able to work with them in your journey towards self-remembering.

I recently listened to Dr Ernest Hartman on Anne Hill Dream Radio (some excellent interviews there, btw)http://annehill.org/dream-talk-radio/podcasts/page/2/ and while I didn't listen real well because I was cleaning, the gist was that he'd researched people on their boundaries and correlated that research with other things, such as their dream experiences. It seems people with a less pronounced sense of boundaries have more vivid and frequent dream recall and are more prone to nightmares and mental illness . Perhaps seeing hermaphrodites is an indicator of a lesser need to clearly delineate male and female. For me, it sometimes works in my dreams that I'll see prominent gay people. I can remember one not so long ago with KDLang (a performer I really like) and the gay character from Glee together. In my real life experience, one of my sisters used to be my brother, so I guess I'm not too black-and-white about gender lines.

[Beekeeper]

30^th July, 2011.
Saturday.

“J Steals”

J has stolen $100000. Somehow, the money was mistakenly given to her and she has held onto it. We discuss options: returning it or concealing it. It seems she’s leaning towards the latter. I don’t mind what she does either way; I won’t expose her. Eventually, she decides that she doesn’t want the money but, because she’s held onto it too long, she needs to find a stealthy way to return it. I help her do this. We are in a place that looks like a post office or a bank and she leaves the money and a letter. I’m aware that she has touched the letter and I’m hoping her fingerprints cannot be lifted. I’m glad I haven’t touched it.

Now I’m in “my” room, pulling a dress up over my head. There’s another dress underneath it but this doesn’t stop me screaming when a tall, slightly stooped, seventies-looking detective enters my room. The scream feels totally false: I’m neither worried for my modesty nor shocked that someone has unexpectedly entered my room.

I’m sitting on the floor now, the detective beside me. He’s actually very kind but I sense his high intelligence and I believe he suspects that I can tell him about J’s crime. He’s speaking close to my ear about what he believes has happened, without making any accusations. Simultaneously, he’s softly adjusting my ear with his hands. Somehow I trust him.

Note: Odd that in the previous night’s dream I attend a doctor to have my ears looked to and in this dream a detective seems to be making these adjustments.

“Chinese Vendor”

G and I have gone to the city. We’re on a busy street with lots of traffic. There’s an open-air stand where you can buy food. The vendor is Chinese, a young man of around 30. G orders something and then takes off on an unknown errand, leaving me to wait. I ask for whatever it was that G ordered. The man gives me the food that looks like an Asian dish and I ask if it’s chicken. He says that it’s ham, which surprises me because it doesn’t look like ham and that’s not a choice G would make. I eat some of the food, without tasting it. Taste isn’t a very frequent dream sense for me but at least I get to eat, usually my dreams deny me the consumption of the food.

While I wait for G, the vendor and I hit it off. I’m seated on a concrete platform with steps and he sits beside me showing me an array of things in a small, hinged box. We converse for a while. What I recall upon waking is seeing an array of round items like bandaids (sticking plasters). Some are really, really small and this fascinates me.

I’m still waiting and the vendor is now talking to an unknown person. I can see myself from behind. I catch a snippet of what the vendor says, “She’s a really nice lady.” I think he must be talking about someone else because surely he wouldn’t talk about me in earshot but he says a bit more and I know he’s talking about me.

“Mario’s Strawberries”

I’m watching Mario, one of the music teachers at work, reaching across a raised garden bed towards a strawberry plant. There’s a third person present who comments every so often but whom I cannot see. My focus is directed forwards and I sometimes wonder with dreams like this whether there’d be any scenery if I looked left or right. Mario is pulling on a stem that is laden with juicy red strawberries. The plant doesn’t want to yield up its fruit, however, so I instruct, “Use two hands, Mario.” There’s a humorous admonishment in my tone and Mario smiles sheepishly, knowing this was always the sensible approach. He climbs up on the garden and begins to pick strawberries. He's taking a final bunch when the unknown person tells him there are insects on those particular strawberries. I feel a little affronted by this. Clearly, I’ve identified these strawberries as something I’ve grown organically and I didn’t know there was anything wrong with them. I wonder what the insects may be: ants or aphids? I can’t see anything wrong at all.

Notes: I’m not sure why I’ve started dreaming about people at work that I don’t see that often or know that well. I wonder if this trend will continue? Mario is a lovely, easy-going, guy and, from what I can discern, a really good teacher.

I don’t often hear my voice in my dreams. Usually my conversations are a bit one-sided, with me doing most of the listening. Often when I do talk, it seems like mental communication (such as with the little girl about the colouring in book). This one seemed more like hearing yourself talk IRL.

Deja vu teaching yoga during Thursday morning class.

Lots of falling during hypnogogics lately.