My present very stale state

[Alien Love]

Hello
I would like to tell you about my present state. Someone on this forum has given a link to a video, on this video people were sitting somewhere in India having sudden movements called kriyas. I think that involuntary movements that I have is similar to those on the video, in the same style. Another thing that too has been with me for many years already is the feeling of heat which is present in the whole body. And I can tell you this feeling is not pleasant for sure. It feels really stale, disgusting as a sort of muddy jelly, like a masterpiece of disgusting energy which has soaked every living cell in the physical and energetic bodies. As if into your veins instead of blood a sort of lifeless tar has been pumped. The energy is not always like that. The intensity and quality of it varies. Most of the time it remains just stale, boring, if outside factors do not affect it. But some of the outside factors can make it painful, sometimes almost unbearable. The quality of many of the negative manifestations of this energy is weird, hard to put into words.
I try to describe my experience as accurately as possible. And for that I need to use some analogies. Yet this energy has some dynamics, it moves, sometimes it tries to open the head charka, reluctantly though; but there was sometimes moments when energy oozed from this crown charka into the body. And even a drop of it feels like a drop of rein dripped on the head in the hot desert when you have no water at all. And this drop penetrates into the middle of the body, not just staying on the surface. This energy of the crown charka feels like epitome of beatific freshness. So I suppose that my state has something to do with kundalini. The crown charka seems like a far dream. And if you want something, for example the crown charka opening, there will always be sellers. This is the spiritual market. Stay away from that market, you have nothing to seek there. In addition to what I have described I have electrosensitivity (ES) (you can read about ES in the net or here: health.groups.yahoo.com/group/eSens/) You know, I always loved the computer in the past, to be with it was a celebration for me, now it has become a torture because of the sensitivity to EMF coming from it. My ES has developed into very severe form. My ES has somewhat special nature to it. Besides that I have what is called here neurasthenia. As diagnostic criteria is different from country to country I do not know how this is called in the USA. In a few words this is an illness of the nervous system: the nerves as if has become naked. Even little things get on your nerves. Besides I get stress from simple things which should not have any sort of such effect or should be pleasant.
On the whole it feels as if what is called life energy, prana , ci has been drained out almost entirely. What has remained is just enough to support existence, actually to support boredom. This state is like a great drought, thirst which hasn’t been quenched. I hardly can entertain myself with anything anyway, because there is no fuel for that and the computer is unavailable (now I use a pocket projector instead of the monitor for a very short time). And this state has existed already for about ten years without so very much change. And that has been the years of my youth.
So if that is connected with kundalini which I suppose is the case then I give advice to you to stay away from it, at least do not try to awaken Kundalini on purpose. If it is already active I hope that all will be OK in your case, but if you are free from it I recommend not to awaken it. As I know Sri Ramana Maharshi also gave the same advice, there are other ways to enlightenment.

[Beekeeper]

Have you sought any healing for your condition?

Do you ever work with water imagery in your meditations or do you stay away from meditation now?

[Korpo]

Hello, Alien Love.

On a hunch I would say this sounds like your energy bodies are full of unprocessed material and not getting what they need either.

The first one makes you more prone to outside stressors, including conditions where things which normally not affect you become stressors - new allergies, immune system problems, or your EMF sensitivity. What you said about naked nerves could be a key. Normally you have enough capacity to process outside influences of all kinds, but when your capacity is used up over time without "maintenance" it will diminish, and finally more and more outside stimulations will be experienced as stressors. Compare like stressed out people can have very limited tolerance for noise.

The second one has to do with activities that actually fulfill inner needs. Social ties with meaning and depth (astral/emotional), sensual experience (etheric), intellectual exchange that matches your interests (mental) and doing activities that are aligned with your spiritual nature or give you a feeling of purpose (causal). One the worse cases would be for example spending most of the time in a job just for money in an office (lack of purpose - causal), with little time in nature of exposure to the elements (lack of sensual experience - etheric), with no one to share your experiences with (lack of emotional processing - astral) and no one around sharing your interests and beliefs (lack of intellectual stimulation - mental). Such a situation would be experienced as either depressing or boring, an energetic low, a feeling of purposelessness, and so on. This would inwardly reflect the outward disconnect with being in this world present in such a scenario.

Such a situation could be reversed by for example actively looking for people with similar interests, changing job or joining a group in one's spare time that is more aligned with what one might want to do with one's life (beyond money), build relationships which allow for enough intimacy to talk about things to get them off one's chest and share good moments with others, and getting outside into nature more often, doing sports, etc. All of these activities would fulfill basic human needs and help build higher energy levels and more enjoyment in life.

Similarly, having friends (or a good therapist) can help with processing emotional stuff, unblocking the astral body. Meditation and energy work can help in stimulating and unclogging the etheric, astral and mental bodies. Manifold spiritual and self-help practices exist to help oneself in getting oneself back into "energetic shape" (body work, affirmations, acupuncture, good nutrition, energy work, visualisations, meditation, ...) It's a combination of fulfilling the needs and maintaining oneself properly, too, even though that could be also seen as a basic need. One can mix and match all kinds of activities as long as one is mindful of the needs. The effect would be also more groundedness in one's experience.

I can't say how much of this is true for you, maybe some of this might pose helpful.

Take care,
Oliver

[Alien Love]

Have you sought any healing for your condition?

I have tried to consult doctors in the past but to no avail.

Do you ever work with water imagery in your meditations or do you stay away from meditation now?

Why do you think water imagery can make a difference?

[Beekeeper]

Why do you think water imagery can make a difference?

Because you describe your sensations as heat. I had an interesting experience once with a massage therapist who, I'm pretty certain, also applied reiki to me. I say this because her massage was very gentle and my pain was quite intense but she still relieved it with incredible efficacy. She was only young but had a very wholesome energy.

She was talking to me about diet (she was a raw foody) and my body type being largely vatta (I was very bony and muscualr at the time, training as a yoga teacher). As she was talking and massaging I was seeing waves of water behind my closed eyes. Then she said my problem was related to dehydration and that I needed more water (and oil in my diet). She was right, of course, we were training at a 10 day intensive in winter, often with the fire going and with minimal breaks and I had lost my water bottle.

Anyway, your story made me feel a reiki practitioner might be helpful to you. Of course, Oliver's explanation is important too. It gives you insight into other ways you can work through your sensitivities. It's always better to see dis-ease in a holistic way and tackle social, emotional and mental aspects to bring yourself into balance.

[psionickx]

She was not only young but had a very wholesome energy

ooh la la