Meditation Journal

[newfreedom]

Hi,

I have recently been trying meditation again, the last time i dabbled with meditation was about 20 yrs ago.


Although i had one period of time where i had amazing effects with it, the rest of my attempts were futile and after trying it out for a while, i later gave up with all types of meditation.

Recently, the last few months, i have been trying a breathing meditation and the mantra meditation -I Am

Found the info. and encouragement i needed from a website called AYP, they have a great forum, with lots of helpful advice...

here's the link......

http://www.aypsite.org/forum/

So now that i have found meditation to be different and this time currently on occasions very helpful for me, i wanted to open-up a space here, for myself (and others), where i could write-up any insight, or significant meditation or experience or anything helpful that i experience

Luv this place...xxx

Comments / replys at any time are Welcome and highly appreciated xX

[eyeoneblack]

Nice to see this, Newfreedom!

Although I believe it is 'officially' a scorned practice, I meditate myself to sleep at night.

A couple of nights ago I found I could simply remember a feeling I knew when in deep meditation; a sense of 'being loved, protected and cared for', a wonderful feeling. I would think of it and when I lost it I simply called it back again and soon drifted off to my favorite place - DREAMLAND

I'll be interested in how you come along in your practice. Keep us posted.

Richard

[newfreedom]

ThankU ... I, 1, Black / Richard x_x

I will certainly try.. thanks for stoppin by and thanks for the support, approval and helpful info. shared, much appreciated

Luv Sha. x _ xx

[newfreedom]

Time: 12 noon-ish

I decided to have a lie-down and rest and spend some time with my inner self and landscapes.

When i first closed my eyes, there was a spinning motion and i felt like i was rotating in a clockwise direction, this was rather pleasant. It didn't take me more than a min. or so to lose this focus and start losing myself in thoughts.

So i decided to do the 'I AM' mantra meditation to help hold my attention in more of a steady place and remain more present.

Doing the 'I AM' mantra seems to allow me to remain more present and in doing so i am able to be aware of visuals, scenes, energetic motion etc. (hypnogogic images)
Most of the impressions pass through my awareness in a very subtle way and memory of them is faint and unclear, only if i fall more deeply into them, do they impact me in a way where i am strongly able to memorise the experience allowing me to write it down.


2 different perspectives on a hypnogogic scene

There are 2 women and they are complaining, angry, and in an arguing mode. One of them says ' I am tired of this' (in reference to what they were angry about)
.... as the scene 'comes in' more strongly I start to experience these women as myself, i am feeling as they do and i become them briefly......

but i am still saying the mantra and this pulls me back out of the scene and allows me to feel and now experience these personas as 'not myself' but as just something passing through me

Hypnogogic thoughts

These thoughts came in strongly and clearly

• 'if it is that he's moved, you'll never hear from him again'
  

and a little later

• Q. 'what do you know?'

• A. 'i've probably not survived this'

[newfreedom]

Hypnogogic image - Large writing

Time: 10 am -ish

After waking several times, i still didn't feel like waking-up properly or getting up, so i began to do the 'I AM' mantra meditation.
i didn't really get very far with this and fell back into sleeping in the end, but i did have one image come in clearly before this happened.

It was a vision of large writting on a white background...... AND... that was it!

I didn't think that the image was very important or significant and so i didn't bother to write it down and decided to ignore it, let it go.


A few hours later whilst on the internet, the page i was viewing would not reload, so i clicked on the new tab link to bring up another page so i could work out if the internet had disconnected again (we are having problems with the phone line at the moment)
I somehow accidently clicked on some of the background writing on the page and this brought up 'large writing, which is now highlighted with a white background'

......... instantly my hypnogogic image comes straight back to me...

The large writing on a white background....... and there it is!!! !!


Although the hypnogogic image i had seen was not indentical to the highlighted large writing, there was definately a 'clicking-in' feeling between the two, an 'aha' moment and feeling of connection between them
The words i accidently highlighted were 'you want'

[newfreedom]

Last night to help me settle, so i could get some sleep, i did the 'I AM a teapot' mantra!

....with great results too!

(yea,... i know.......... don't ask!!!)

I must of been a camomile or valerian teapot, as the mantra was very soothing and quickly helped eased my distress...


I had been experiencing alot of energy working on myself the last 2 days again, and although it's nice and feels good in many ways and i do appreciate it, it also can bring up difficult emotions in me, like grief, fear, desperateness, franticness and panic.

Within mins. of doing the 'teapot mantra' i became more settled and sleep felt more like a possibility, i even tried to become serious and change the mantra into the more sensible form of the 'I AM' mantra instead.... but by then, it didn't have the same 'feeling tone' for me, to it...... so i continued on with 'I am a teapot'........ i think my spirit teams were having too much fun at this point, to let me switch mantras.... xx

I continued with the mantra for about 20 mins. at which point, it automatically fell away as i became more comfortable with the sleep space, i allowed the hypnogogic stage to pass without paying attention and fell asleep..... which i was very pleased with because it's at times like this, where i start to fall in to a pattern of 'not being able to sleep' and this can get very serious and very, very difficult at times too..


I'm a Teapot!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STgPZvR36zo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEbX-WPGSpI

The Goodies xx

[newfreedom]

10/01/12 - 10 / 11 pm ish

Shutting my eyes and resting made it very, very obvious the amount of energy running through me.... it was quite pleasant and felt like a fast flowing river rushing through me.

I had no need to repeat a mantra, as the energy enabled me to be very 'still' calm and clear, the peace was all encompassing and i felt comfortable in it.

It seems my ability to handle these 'high' energy states is getting better and easier all of the time, i am more able to 'allow' and be at peace within them most of the time now.

When i first experienced the 'stillness' within the energy a few years ago, i found it unbearable and couldn't tolerate it for more than a few seconds without 'jumping up' and running for my life...

I think back then, the 'stillness' was interpreted by myself as 'death'

Tonight the energies feel like an inner tremble, that feels very healing and pleasant, they bring with them excitement, enthusiasm and appreciation, also a sense of relief and safeness.

Of course, when the energy 'hits' issues, it's a different matter, and things become intense, difficult and often very unpleasant


The chakras that are being worked on are the base, sacral, stomach, heart, sometimes my third eye and my head.


There is a 'whirling' - type noise, like an 'ue' sound that reverberates through me, this always happens when i am in the high energy space, in the past this too has been so strong and noisey that it's caused me to 'run from it'. That overwhelming strength hasn't happened for a year or two, so this seems to be getting easier to handle too.

[newfreedom]

Time: 11 pm ish

I had not been meditating, but had experienced quite an intense, busy physical type of day, fairly unusual for myself and so was having to constantly bring myself back to a 'quiet space' to stop myself continually thinking over and over the days events

I had felt wide awake, but feel i must of slipped into an altered state without noticing this...

as i suddenly heard the calls and screechs of pteranodons, i knew it was inner sound, but i could actually hear these sounds in the same way one would listen to outter sound...... i was like WOW!! ... so clear and real!

At this point i really started to pay attention and really listen, this must have caused the incoming info. to change, because i then connected to the sound of a little boy yelling out, he wasn't in distress, just shouting to hear the sound of his own voice it seemed, i also got a visual image of a little boy sitting on a chair in a big echo-ee space

As i paid attention and focused more into the inner sound space and just after the little boy shouted, i seemed to have connected strongly to this energy spaced as i sort of 'clicked-in' to some space and doing this caused my 2nd and 3rd chakra to mildly strobe

Interestingly, i also had alot of hypnagogic images too and feeling different energy type spaces, despite feeling fairly awake...

Maybe the combination of an active busy mind and a relaxed ready for sleep state was the key to all the 'goings-on'

I know this is what they call the 'scenery' in meditation..... but i have to admit....... i do love the scenery xX

[Korpo]

Hello, newfreedom.

Mental exhaustion can play a role in having experiences during the day. When your mind is "running out of fuel" the usual filters you apply to your reality lessen. The mind cannot keep it up, and these unusual things can creep in. At least for myself my thinking mind had a very tight grip on how I would perceive my reality, but at times it would exhaust itself and I would have significant experiences.

The "scenery" is not necessarily a problem in and of itself. If you can let go of the experience it is usually not a problem. The tendency of wanting to recreate certain experiences, the tyranny of likes (craving) and dislikes (aversion) of the mental aspect - that is what can cause problems and what meditation tries to untrain. If you can keep a check on these tendencies it does not matter what reality you experience - in fact any reality becomes a training ground for this.

[newfreedom]

Have been quite 'shutdown' since the end of Oct. 13 & unable to make much movement or changes to help myself move into a more 'enhancing' more worthwhile space.

Date: 24/12/13

Time: 10.45 am

'I AM' mantra session (lasting approx. 30 mins.)

At first it helped me become very 'present' / engaged with myself
(have not had that experience for sometime & it was really refreshing)

I was able to

• notice (where my attention was being taken) what was going on for myself
• i could think
• i was able to see what 'worries' i was holding

after about 15 mins. i lost that 'inner space' & started 'working out' chores/ jobs around the house that needed doing

When my alarm went off, i was almost in a sleep space, as was evident by the way i shifted back to an awake state & the fact that i initially forgot my 'thinking thread' & had to move mentally back into the previous space to retrieve it.

From having only the capacity to be aware of 'nothing' for some weeks this experience was then much appreciated & illuminating...