I have an strong urge to continue this conversation about the paradox.
I start what happened 1981-82...when I have get the beater out of my Life...I did go back to the doctor who did also meet him P...I wanted to hear his oppinion about this...the doctor started to aske me...how could you go into this relationsship with open Eyes??...I first said...I did see the injured Little boy inside of him, I wanted to help him. (but also he said he will help me without asking anything back, and my whole family had turned theires back on me)..The doctor said...How could you Think you can help him, I am an expert and I can´t help him.....this stayed with me....and today I would say to the doctor, of course you can´t help when you already have decided you can not do anything to help, with this kind of attitude you certainly can´t do anything....As I am very afraid Little being, I have bean "forced" into many dangerous situations ...and I have bean thinking why me...but today when I feel the worst is over, I feel that we each and everyone have our own path to walk, and today I can say I am so greatful for I have not walked alone not one step...I am so greatful for the existence that Life is as it is...it is sure easier today when I know what I know...it is not much but I know that if we open our heart to LOVE we are not alone, and LOVE walkes with us in both bad and good.

Today I feel so greatful and full of LOVE.