Here we go…
The first occurrences happened during TM type meditation. I was still living in Tallinn, Estonia, my city of birth. While I was still in high school I had a summer job working as one of the English-Russian interpreters for a group of TM masters that were giving lessons. As far as I remember they had several levels of classes and I was interpreting for all of them. I got really interested in meditations and armed with knowledge picked up at those classes I started to meditate regularly myself. I don't remember all the details, but I believe I just was sitting down quietly and repeating mantra given to me personally by one of the TM gurus. (Since I was told to never reveal this personal mantra to anyone I suspect that it was not something unique, but this secrecy was just a marketing trick).
Anyways, I only have a few strong memories of those meditations. One was that just a minute or two into the meditation I would start seeing a shiny white light somewhere in front of me and as I was pulling it towards me, I would get very strong positive energy sensations that would turn into a feeling of total bliss, and memory I have already described - the back bending. These two experiences could happen in parallel. I could feel happy and full of light, but at the same time being worried not to let go control of the neck muscles, so it would not break. To understand the intensity of the pressure on the back of the neck, imagine that you are lying on the floor facing down and another person is standing on the neck pushing it down with a heel.
Another experience that contributed to me stopping meditating was a vision that I had during one of the meditations. I saw myself high up in the clouds, felt very strong, happy and wanted to explore what is above them, then I saw an elderly person that was wearing white robe, he seemed to be busy with something, then he turned to me looking very surprised and asked: “What are YOU doing here?†Next second I was back in my room. I felt like a child caught with my hand in a cookie jar after bringing home excellent marks from school. I knew that I did not have the permission, but at the same time I felt that I totally deserved the treat. “It’s not fare!†I thought. It may sound funny but this feeling lasted for a long time, for some time I was convinced that this old guy will be there every time I would try to go any further in my meditations.
Now I live in Vancouver, Canada. I am not on any special diet, just trying to eat more vegetables and stay away from junk food.
With the renewed meditations I still can’t easily go into deep state. I don’t see the light that I have described previously, but whole bunch of new (or forgotten) symptoms. The strongest one is the third eye chakra. Some days I feel like I have a trunk growing on my forehead. Sometimes it is pulsating, sometimes it is just pressure, but I learned just to acknowledge these sensations and not to concentrate on them during everyday life. I can’t yet see any spirits or hear them, but I definitely see positive changes in my life.
It is worth mentioning that I was started reading "Astral Dynamics" and doing NEW excercises at the time as well. To list just a few little miracles, I quit smoking cold turkey about a month after joining the Development Circle. It was a learning experience by itself. As many smokers I have tried quitting several times and always would slip back. This time as I was walking to the office I was thinking about buying a pack of Nicorette and try quitting again. Suddenly as a thought came to me: “Why would you need Nicorette if I have a Spirit Guide?†That was it. Something clicked in my head and have not had a cigarette since, another nice touch is that my friends that were jokingly offering me to join them for a smoke during my previous tries, behave like I had never smoked and none of them had some much as even looked in my direction when they are going for a smoke break.
Another one worth mentioning is something that before it happened to me I would really be skeptic about. Last Tuesday I was looking at the bills that I had to pay, and it (as it happens often) added up to more that my bank account balance showed. I thought what to do and there was literally no way to pay them. I got upset to the point that I said really clearly in my mind: “I want to have …dollars in my bank account by the weekendâ€Â. Then I almost forbid myself to think about it. As they say, believe it or not, but on Friday I got a cheque from my client that paid not only what I expected him to pay, which was about 1/3 of the amount that I needed. He also paid for the work that I considered “pro bonoâ€Â. Imagine this, I am standing in his office, he looks up at me and asks: “Is … OK?â€Â, and names exactly the amount that I wanted. Of course I agreed. After I got out of his office I could barely walk. I was thinking:†Can this be real?†Even now writing about it I feel spaced out.
I am doing NEW exercises a couple of times a day and they feel very good. I don’t have a set time for them I just do them on the train, or walking, or working on the computer. I can easily move energy around the body; some areas are of course more difficult than others. Moving it up the spine is the one that takes a lot of effort, although I can’t say that I skip any areas. It just takes longer, about 5-7 seconds from the root all the way to the heart chakras.
I became a big fan of Robert’s work. Now I am reading his “Practical Psychic Self-Defense†and can’t wait for “Kundalini Dynamicsâ€Â, hoping that it will have some reliable guidelines for Kundalini work.
I apologize for such a long post, I just felt an urge to share some of my recent experiences.
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