isnt this strange?

**DarkChylde** · 9th July 2012, 09:36 PM

everytime if for a long time i mean like for more than 2-3 weeks if i dont take anything (im on extreme detox) and purge my organism clean, comes a certain frame of time in which i take time out and do absolutely absolutely nothing what happens to me is that my dream-recall goes suddenly into the next-level (destroys the bar and goes clean off the chart) as in what i mean to say is that in everyday regular life i have next to nill recall and then suddenly it kicks in (but i have to be implicitly doing nothing and just relaxing) this happened to me recently (last time it happened was years ago) so now im very sure of it (its definitely nailed down)

for almost a week i "downloaded" a series of dreams from other people ; a certain chunk of someones life , small pocket of information happened* to someone some where comes to me in astounding clarity (i wake up with all the dream in mind with lucid clarity.

after 2-3 days it became paricularly disturbing (yes disturbining as in it started making me acutely uncomfortable) as in feeling ghastly nauseous pain that someone felt from certain events ( the amount of empathy started literally choking me) after i had downloaded the dream and reviewed it.

this lead me to certain conclusions : in everyday regular life i practice exclusion severely my gaurd is automatically up 24/7 in a barrier that floats like a cocoon around me , as in i have seen it its like dense cloud like nimbus-material? i felt it from someone else's prespective so probably i felt their impression of it reflecting back at me? (it was unsavory to them).

now some more detail : everytime i experience , particularly if i mention these words : "it's okay im healing" i feel really really very embarassed , not that sheepish awkard adolescence of an embryonic mind not that "getting on with it kind of bashfullness" but outright humility thats choking and acutely uncomfortable.Isn't that strange?. Does it mean that if im excluding others im alienating myself because if i dont let you in then how can i let me into my own person?.

If i let go of everything at all and there's nothing to worry for does my psychic dream-gaurds fall away too? ; who knows , im sure i dont know but its just one possiblity out of many.All i know is : if you turn off empathy in all its form and if you re-experience it in a non-awake modality it stands out like a sore thumb.Throbbing pulsing psyche of experience that inflames periodically than wanes away slowly.

Very soon one of these days the momentum of life will build backup and take over my person, work , colleagues , parents , family , outgoing texting-while-driving sociallizing , meaningless facebooking , random twiterring of tweets , gossip mania , exams and people with their humdrum lives will overtake this aching silence that has blossomed without my permission .

These strange weeds that other people are will soon be rid from the foliage of pure conciousness that puts together the dress-rehersal thats the garden of my life.

**CFTraveler** · 9th July 2012, 10:00 PM

Originally Posted by DC

everytime if for a long time i mean like for more than 2-3 weeks if i dont take anything (im on extreme detox) and purge my organism clean, comes a certain frame of time in which i take time out and do absolutely absolutely nothing what happens to me is that my dream-recall goes suddenly into the next-level (destroys the bar and goes clean off the chart) as in what i mean to say is that in everyday regular life i have next to nill recall and then suddenly it kicks in (but i have to be implicitly doing nothing and just relaxing) this happened to me recently (last time it happened was years ago) so now im very sure of it (its definitely nailed down)

Sounds like it.

for almost a week i "downloaded" a series of dreams from other people ; a certain chunk of someones life , small pocket of information happened* to someone some where comes to me in astounding clarity (i wake up with all the dream in mind with lucid clarity.

after 2-3 days it became paricularly disturbing (yes disturbining as in it started making me acutely uncomfortable) as in feeling ghastly nauseous pain that someone felt from certain events ( the amount of empathy started literally choking me) after i had downloaded the dream and reviewed it.

I've had this happen to me too, and it's not enjoyable.

this lead me to certain conclusions : in everyday regular life i practice exclusion severely my gaurd is automatically up 24/7 in a barrier that floats like a cocoon around me , as in i have seen it its like dense cloud like nimbus-material? i felt it from someone else's prespective so probably i felt their impression of it reflecting back at me? (it was unsavory to them).

I think not necessarily- the cocoon is a natural defense mechanism, and you do experience it as 'disgusting' because you are privy to it- intimately, instead of perceiving it as simply 'no-information', as it would to someone else. So even though you are establishing a connection to someone else, you have more of one with yourself, and it's not something you enjoy- you've projected your own rejected qualities and are experiencing them, not from the outside, but from the inside.
Or anyway, it's what I think, I could be wrong.

now some more detail : everytime i experience , particularly if i mention these words : "it's okay im healing" i feel really really very embarassed , not that sheepish awkard adolescence of an embryonic mind not that "getting on with it kind of bashfullness" but outright humility thats choking and acutely uncomfortable.Isn't that strange?. Does it mean that if im excluding others im alienating myself because if i dont let you in then how can i let me into my own person?.

I really don't think so, but then we'd go into my own personal worldview, which may clash with yours, so I'll leave it there.