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Thread: Learning to become self-aware

  1. #11
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    Re: Learning to become self-aware

    After 3 weeks in 'shutdown' yesterday after waking i was able to spend some time 'thinking' with myself

    This had quite a dramatic effect & my internal state changed quite quickly & i was soon in enthusiasm, appreciation, able to engage, able to think, able to respond & able to feel 'joy'.

    In my latest 'shutdown' phase, i would feel emotionally 'horriffic' on waking, (physically not feeling good with this) and when this had passed after approx. half an hr. i would be in an 'unawareness' which could best be described as 'nothingness' or 'blankness' . If i attempted any kind of self engagement, it would not last much longer than about 10 mins. before it would become too emotionally uncomfortable for me to continue.

    Yesterday i received 2 energy sessions that i was aware of, late afternoon & evening - stomach area, then stomach area & heart chakra

    On waking this morning, after several mins. i could feel my familiar 'early morning subtle energy feel' which felt real good & made it so much easier to get up & take the dogs for their early morning walk.

    As i was walking through our usual quarry / wooded area dog walk it felt like a different reality, like new territory (although i did recognise this new territory space, as i have experienced it multiple times)


    i was able to ponder on my walk -

    • 'was my experience better because i could focus on pondering / thinking instead of my usual only available focus being on body sensations ?'
    • then i realised i was 'in' subtle energy that was allowing it emotionally to feel 'ok'. (instead of being in continual resistance. or uncomfortable feelings)
    • then i was able to feel the presence of subtle energy in my physical body, so physically i was actually feeling better - it was a physical body feeling of betterness

    I have realised at other times, that being in this 'better space' is dependant on subtle energy & / or emotionally feeling good.

    Years back i seemed to have more control over reaching this 'better space' if i made an effort to do so, these latest years it seems, i often fail in my efforts.


    Visions behind closed eyelids - i often sense / see movement at first that then takes on a pictorial form
    • a children's park roundabout spinning anti-clockwise - the round & round loops of existence
    • the swishing movement of someone wiping a table with a dishcloth - representing cleaning or erasing
    • approx. 10/06 - the movement of pushing a button, the button was kinda mushroom shaped <-- 14/06. i just saw the same kind of button being pushed on the T.V. programme - programme is the news & they were reviewing the New Jurrasic Park film <-- a set of films close to my Heart - my son was a big Dinosaur fan & we still have all his Dinosaur books (waiting to get un-packed, out of the Garage & 'back in the house'
    • approx. 10/06 - had another movement vision (need to locatenotes to be able to write it up here)
    Last edited by newfreedom; 14th June 2015 at 05:38 AM. Reason: to add more vision experiences
    " the core of spirituality is to optimize your personal evolution" ~ Robert Bruce

  2. #12
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    Re: Learning to become self-aware

    Earlier today as i was wading through all my chaotic personal collections of junk, i came across a cassette. it is the children's . we had a complimenting book with it

    The Land of Pleasant Dreams ~ Barely there at all

    My attention was drawn towards 'notice-ing / learning about what this cassette was about / putting in then context, putting it in now context

    i found this youtube clip. Not watched it yet.

    i go outside ... it's raing ,just starting with sparsed out heavy water drops... approx. 3 secs from being out in the rain ... the lyrics coming through from my earbud earphones said the word ' RAIN'

    So on this occasion the timing is: event experienced first, seconds later simupdates 'human' (lol!,maybe not) with this information in mental form

    I stand on a stone, it hurts my bare foot ' I am not DangerousBrian' as i wobble on the stone ... haha

    this happens on the next stone that jams in to my bare foot sole a few mins. later too.

    My ex. comes out & lips says 'yer teas in there (cup of tea)using body gestures & 'madd-dog face & Psycho eyes' this instantly has me putting up 'thethumbs up sign first with one had , then the other, i am now one of them gods/ myths woman that has loads of arms... think i have this early memory from childhooh Sinbad films.

    Dont know how long it takes Ex. to 'retreat' but he is gone when i have finished my 'moves'

    The movements are ' strong, precise, accurately portraying what they wish to show.

    Also had Gorilla arm / hand

    Mammal front leg during walking

    a stick leg that feels like it walks backwards in it's movement .... Robort leg... a stick shape ..

    I was drawn to look at / & listen briefly (twice) to the song ... 'Hearts amess' by Gotye... the figures on that video have great significance for me i can see/ feel they have ...

    Thanks ~*WSw*~ AD Community & Gotye X ~ X ~ X ~ x x ......... x
    " the core of spirituality is to optimize your personal evolution" ~ Robert Bruce

  3. #13
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    Re: Learning to become self-aware

    Quote Originally Posted by newfreedom View Post
    Earlier today as i was wading through all my chaotic personal collections of junk, i came across a cassette. it is the children's . we had a complimenting book with it

    The Land of Pleasant Dreams ~ Barely there at all

    My attention was drawn towards 'notice-ing / learning about what this cassette was about / putting in then context, putting it in now context

    i found this youtube clip. Not watched it yet.

    i go outside ... it's raing ,just starting with sparsed out heavy water drops... approx. 3 secs from being out in the rain ... the lyrics coming through from my earbud earphones said the word ' RAIN'

    So on this occasion the timing is: event experienced first, seconds later simupdates 'human' (lol!,maybe not) with this information in mental form

    I stand on a stone, it hurts my bare foot ' I am not DangerousBrian' as i wobble on the stone ... haha

    this happens on the next stone that jams in to my bare foot sole a few mins. later too.

    My ex. comes out & lips says 'yer teas in there (cup of tea)using body gestures & 'madd-dog face & Psycho eyes' this instantly has me putting up 'thethumbs up sign first with one had , then the other, i am now one of them gods/ myths woman that has loads of arms... think i have this early memory from childhooh Sinbad films.

    Dont know how long it takes Ex. to 'retreat' but he is gone when i have finished my 'moves'

    The movements are ' strong, precise, accurately portraying what they wish to show.

    Also had Gorilla arm / hand

    Mammal front leg during walking

    a stick leg that feels like it walks backwards in it's movement .... Robort leg... a stick shape ..

    I was drawn to look at / & listen briefly (twice) to the song ... 'Hearts amess' by Gotye... the figures on that video have great significance for me i can see/ feel they have ...

    Thanks ~*WSw*~ AD Community & Gotye X ~ X ~ X ~ x x ......... x
    Moving some books and i find the story book to the cassette - The land of pleasant dreams, i look through it. There is a small square-ish piece of paper nestled between 2 of the pages. i try to 'read' or give a understandable connection to this

    The paper was covering bobbit the horse's tail - i had a 'vision' of a horse's bottom with swishing tail a few weeks back

    the paper has two marks on it - an 'x' - i have been using the small 'x' alot the last several yrs & for me it represents 'myself' (big 'X' my spirit guidance)

    Also another mark - an 'j' without the dot - a candy stick

    Interesting & lot's of Fun xxxxx (mostly)
    " the core of spirituality is to optimize your personal evolution" ~ Robert Bruce

  4. #14
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    Re: Learning to become self-aware

    13/06

    Left eye stone

    As i was sorting through shells & stones, ornaments, i came across my 'eye stone' i found as a child. It's a very cool stone looks just like a left eye. i found it amongst the shingle on Angmering-on-sea, Sussex's beach when i was a child.

    How awesome, i had forgotten i had this... it reminds me of the now 'eye avatar' i have up here the last few months.

    ~~
    " the core of spirituality is to optimize your personal evolution" ~ Robert Bruce

  5. #15
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    Words, thoughts, song lyrics, t.v. commentating & 3D physicall life synchronicities

    WORD

    'Choosing'

    • 19/06 - thought - choosing <-- hit head on branches of trees
    • 20/06 - thought - choosing<-- saw what i thought was a white stone, but it was the end of a tree branch
    " the core of spirituality is to optimize your personal evolution" ~ Robert Bruce

  6. #16
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    Postures, poses, body movements & understanding what they convey

    Quote Originally Posted by newfreedom View Post

    I stand on a stone, it hurts my bare foot ' I am now experiencing myself as being Dangerous Brian' as i wobble on the stone ... haha

    this happens on the next stone that jams in to my bare foot sole a few mins. later too.

    My ex. comes out & from reading his lips (i have my earphones in & music blasting into my headspace) he says 'yer tea's in there (cup of tea) using body gestures & 'mad-do' face & 'Psycho eyes' this instantly has me putting up 'the thumbs up' sign, first with one hand , then the other, i am now one of them gods/ mythical woman beings with the many arms... think i have this early memory from childhood Sinbad films as a visual image in my mind of a woman with many arms , all moving independently.

    Don't know how long it takes Ex. to 'retreat' but he is gone when i have finished my 'moves'

    The movements are ' strong, precise, accurately portraying what they wish to show.

    Also had:
    • Gorilla arm / hand
    • Mammal front leg during walking
    • a stick leg that feels like it walks backwards in it's movement .... Robot leg... a stick shape ..
    • my 2 arms --> the mammals front legs
    • my right arm, bent at the elbow resting on my lap --> cat / dog front leg when it is lying down
    • my right arm is portraying a mammal's front leg, my hand is in an incomplete 'Ok' gesture. My first finger & thumb donot touch but have approx. 3cm gap between them. Wonder if this is a yoga / known hand gesture (i should research it)

    (More added on 20/06)

    Postures, poses, body movements & understanding what they convey

    • Gorilla arm / hand
    • Mammal front leg during walking
    • a stick leg that feels like it walks backwards in it's movement .... Robot leg... a stick shape ..
    • my 2 arms --> the mammals front legs
    • my right arm, bent at the elbow resting on my lap --> cat / dog front leg when it is lying down
    • 20/06 - my right arm is portraying a mammal's front leg, my hand is in an incomplete 'Ok' gesture. My first finger & thumb donot touch but have approx. 3cm gap between them. Wonder if this is a yoga / known hand gesture (i should research it)
    " the core of spirituality is to optimize your personal evolution" ~ Robert Bruce

  7. #17
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    Re: Learning to become self-aware

    Today i am in a processing space....


    means:

    • i am more sensitive
    • i am able to engage with how my body feels & what it needs eg. earlier i was able to 'realise' i needed to eat
    • life changes from unpleasant to intense
    • it's what i need, but it's always 'too much'
    • i have kundalini energy active in my body, but with this comes 'feeling sick to the stomach' sensations - this is caused by build-up of 'emotions' & my usual way to release this is by 'physically breaking-down & crying'



    Physical life circumstances are 's**t' as ever

    It's appears that my little dog Zen is coming to the end of this earth life cycle, been to the vets today & they have done what they can, no improvement by tomorrow means he's not going to recover. He is 16 & half yrs.

    After finishing writing the above, there was an obvious change to me, an adjustment was made to me subtle energetically, the kundalini energy feels less, i feel less nauseous, lighter & with more 'ease'

    ....thankyou
    " the core of spirituality is to optimize your personal evolution" ~ Robert Bruce

  8. #18
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    A Beautiful morning suprise

    9.45 am - i opened the back door this morning to let the dog out into the back garden & was greeted by a beautiful blue sky & a perfect rainbow ~ wow ~

    (i am going to get some more batteries for my camera so i can keep these moments, this is the second time now in the last 2 days where i would of liked to have taken a picture of something)
    " the core of spirituality is to optimize your personal evolution" ~ Robert Bruce

  9. #19
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    Today's Word Patterns / Wisdom

    Words Patterns of today:
    • This Place is RUBBISH
    • Nothing works in this house
    • THIS is NOT What i want to be doing with my Life
    • You're going to be Sorry
    • I'm STUCK in this Crisis...


    I WIN ...... THE WAR ......... Against EVIL


    ------------------------------

    Date: 11/12/15

    Time: 5.40am --- Best of Alan Partridge (part 2)

    Watching Alan Partridge to help with progress, mental stability & EASE of life...


    ~Completely NOTHING ~ i have that skill~ xxx ~~

    Word Patterns:
    Date: 11/12/15
    Time: 6.30 am

    • like this

    ----------------------------------------------------


    29/12/15 - Removed from my signature & placed here:

    Calm & Clear - Robert Shapiro

    The Pleiadians - Barbara Marciniak

    Last edited by newfreedom; 29th December 2015 at 10:04 PM.
    " the core of spirituality is to optimize your personal evolution" ~ Robert Bruce

  10. #20
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    Garden birds as a source of 'Reminders, remembering, re-orientating, alertness, comfort & support

    Having made changes : net curtains in kitchen are completely open, whenst normally they would be closed, even though they are not full length of the window.

    Blackbird male, blackbird female on ferret wire fence barrier facing each other, never seen birds sitting on this wire fencing barrier before.

    stopped me in my tracks, i had become lost in thoughts as i continued to do physical style chore / duties.

    then i noticed a dunnock, a bluetit & another small bird in my back garden: i was able to appreciate & remember 'this part of my life still existed' ( i was a garden bird watcher as a hobby at age 10yrs & would use a cool pair of binoculars my grandparents had bought me to study up close the birds that visited- it was a passion of mine )

    After this experience i became blank & was completely cut off from what i was meant to be doing & also completely cut off from the 'functioning space that had become mine over the last semi- difficult processing days i had been immersed in.

    After some seconds my memory returned & i could continue physically with what i had been doing & my connection to my 'functioning space' returned

    Thankyou wild Birds xxx
    Last edited by newfreedom; 29th December 2015 at 10:49 PM.
    " the core of spirituality is to optimize your personal evolution" ~ Robert Bruce

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