explict dream left with wonder and guilt

[Dais]

Its not a case that I dont have control over myself I m fully aware of what im doing in my dreams the majority of the time. Like I said before the viloence that i get in volved in is never started by me. Or I end up fighting to protect some one. Last night I had a long and very lucid dream. At one point i was walking dow a long hall that lead into a stair way. I saw a man beating up a child I ran over and beat the crap out of the guy. Later when ever I ran into poeple in the dream they remebered me helping the girl. Thier were alot of people around when I helped her y didnt they help her I dont know.

And as far as what regret I have none. And as far as what I want out of projection is to learn and meet poeple and help people. that and I love all living things and hope to be able to help beings other then humans.

IM NOT SOME CONFUSED SADIST I KNOW WHAT IM DOING.
I felt bad the one time about raping that girl.

My dreams are filled with other people doing derranged things and I also try to help the victems or people just come and pick fights with me.
I dont want to hurt anyone but people that deserve it.
And when I say people that deserve it I mean killers and sickos.

Almost every week I have atlest one or two dreams of me Killing pigs(disgusting people).

[Tom]

The trouble with anger and violence is that the more energy you put into them, the more you draw circumstances to yourself that will provoke the same kind of response. Angry people are much better at landing in situations that make them angry than people who are primarily happy. Dealing with feelings of anger by confronting them directly leads to more of the same because it is also just feeding the anger. Trying to force yourself to be patient will have the same result. Recently I bought a book that came with a cassete ( http://www.freesoul.net/index.php?subme ... 64691ba822 ) on how to activate a part of the brain that is about the limbic system and useful for stopping strong negative emotions. The technique is fairy easy to initially learn, as I'm finding, but that it takes a few months to fully benefit from it and to remember to actually use it when it is needed most. I'm suggesting it for everyone, really, now that I'm starting to actually get results. It is a lot easier and more reliable than the "amygdala clicking" I keep reading about and a lot safer to use because there is much less of a possibility of triggering anger, fear, or depression by hitting the wrong part of the limbic system.

[Dais]

Thank you tom for giving me advice that didnt make me look like a stupid lost sadist.
I have contemplated the idea of just tring to fight negativity brings me more challenges. And i belive in doing bad things brings bad things on to you. KARMA RULES like that. but I wonder is it that I face conflict head on is a bad thing or should i just dismiss bad feelings.

I dont have a problem with feeling good but I have a problem with letting bad things happen to me or others like I keep saying in my dreams Im ussally protecting the weak or fighting punks and pigs people.

Is it wrong for me to feel as thow the innocent should be save and the wicked should be punished. thats pretty much what gose on in my dreams.
But i do admit that I thoughly enjoy doing horriable things to horriable people. Example Beating up a bully.

[CFTraveler]

Thank you tom for giving me advice that didnt make me look like a stupid lost sadist.

My apologies if any of what I said sounded judgemental, it's just that some of us might have struggled with your definition of what a sadist is. There is the definition involving sexual activity, and then there is the definition, in general terms, in someone who enjoys making other people suffer. From the outset you identified yourself as a sadist, and I for one took the meaning to be 'in general', and that of course, colored the perception that I had about you. It wasn't until later, when you clarified the meaning, that we understood that you weren't a bully looking for victims. Especially when you stated just so- that you wouldn't hurt anyone that didn't want it. So that made me even more confused.

I dont have a problem with feeling good but I have a problem with letting bad things happen to me or others like I keep saying in my dreams Im ussally protecting the weak or fighting punks and pigs people.

There is nothing wrong with this- everyone is like that to some extent.

But i do admit that I thoughly enjoy doing horriable things to horriable people. Example Beating up a bully.

Once again, the question to ask is: Do you enjoy it out of a sense of justice, are you full of anger towards something that was done to you? Or is there something going on other than that? That's what I would be concerned about.

[Tom]

There was a time when the only time I ever felt fully alive was when I was angry. Being angry and wanting to hurt people felt good. It wasn't until there were other things that felt equally rewarding that I was able to set aside being angry so much of the time. Even now, though, if something startles or surprises me enough my first response is to be angry. It doesn't last as long when it happens and the consequences are never as severe. It used to be that after losing my temper I'd get physically ill within a day or two to the point of throwing up and having to crawl to get around. Now it just gives me a stiff neck and a tension headache for a few hours. Actually, I was mistaken to feel like being angry felt like being more alive than usual. What I could not see was that when I lost my temper my field of vision narrowed, my hearing became dull, and my mental range of motion was also constricted. The world narrowed down to me and whatever I was angry at. Next, I dropped away followed by (a person, usually) whatever triggered that anger. Nothing was left but the anger itself and it would burn for a while after everything and everyone was gone. All sorts of things like school and friends and family and other real world problems would lose their importance and their immediacy. It was so rewarding that I kept falling into it even knowing I'd be violently ill to pay for it.

Hi again, Dais,
Dais said:

I will start by saying I m a sadist

And as far as what regret I have none. And as far as what I want out of projection is to learn and meet poeple and help people. that and I love all living things and hope to be able to help beings other then humans.

Thanks for clearing that up.
You are posting on a spiritual site. This does not mean that alternate views are unacceptable. We try as hard as we are able to let anyone speak their mind. But, when you come on a forum such as this, you can be sure you are going to get spiritual recommendations to your questions. No one (to my knowledge) is here to make any kind of judgements about choices you make for your life. Most of the people here are very tolerant in their views. But, pose a problem...you'll get a lot of advice. No one tried to make you look like a "stupid lost sadist". But, not explaining yourself fully can lead to a lot of misunderstandings.
Dais said:

Is it wrong for me to feel as thow the innocent should be save and the wicked should be punished.

There is no right or wrong here, only what is best for you in the long run. Only you can make that choice. Consider that maybe the "wicked" are punishing themselves, that the "innocent" will be taken care of in the grand scheme of things, and that what is best for you may have nothing to do with either the "wicked" or "innocent". Just maybe what you interpret as wicked might not be in someone else's viewpoint. A case in point is your belief that sadism is ok. There are plenty of other's who would disagree with that. Does that make them right? No, it only makes them right from their own perspective. In view of that, I would say that you have the ability to determine for yourself what path you need to choose for your evolvement. Personally, I would go with Tom's recommendation. Like does seem to draw like. Or, to put it another way, what you put out returns to you. So, think about what you would like to return to you, and act on that. I think your dreams might just follow.

Ummm...I would like to say that I just noticed that CF, Tom, and I cross-posted. I don't want you to get the impression that you are being ganged up on. None of us knew the other was posting at the time.

[Gemma]

Ummm...I would like to say that I just noticed that CF, Tom, and I cross-posted. I don't want you to get the impression that you are being ganged up on. None of us knew the other was posting at the time.

Yeah but doesn't that tell you something?!

Yes, it tells me that we all cared to take the time to try to help him out in whatever way we knew based on the information given, and the fact that he asked for help.

[Gemma]

Yes, it tells me that we all cared to take the time to try to help him out in whatever way we knew based on the information given, and the fact that he asked for help.

That too, but what I really meant was that the fact that all 3 of you cross-posted means that there must be a lot of truth in what you three said. So it would be wise for him to take note. That's all.