Nursing babies

[susan]

12/7/14
Projection this am but very disappointed in how I handled it. Somehow in physical we can understand that in a certain situation we should do this or that , but when experiencing it in non physical you forget all that.
Woke up early am from a dream. Quick recall.
A small cat comes in to be fed. A man is standing at a doorway holding the most ridiculous looking bigger cat with long spiky hair and tells us ( a few of us in a room) that this is our new commander . This was to be in charge of us. I remember thinking that he is silently telling us to have faith and trust in the cat.
( Didnt attempt to analyse any of this as I had to be up early am for Tai chi)

OBE

Settled down and became aware of being in the perfect relaxed / awake stage so silenced mind and just stared into brow.
Tried hard to zoom in closer to what I was looking at when I saw movement and now felt I was following the movement. ( pleased at this stage because I knew I'd got out. Moving along to the right and I can see a shape take form. This was like a sketching of the head of my late mother looking a lot younger. ( thinking at the time this was either symbolic of a mother figure or something to forget. I wasn't picking up any feelings from this)
Now it goes and everything is black. Then a coloured light, then more and more. I'm surrounded by lights . Red, blue ,orange ,green and more( No gold or silver this time) . Now I'm looking down and underneath me is this massive glass ( see through ) building full to the brim with the same coloured lights. This reminded me of Christmas time and Christmas lights. ( like most times I was aware but just went with where ever I went, ) I didn't feel the same excitement as previous times, almost sensing something at this stage.
Headed down through the roof amongst the colours when speeded up, going down fast. Knew I had reason not to get excited this time.Just knew I was to go under ground again. Blocked off vision.( Last time I was excited and thought I would be brave enough to keep vision open if it happened again) Very quickly I've stopped so vision back and I seem to be in a basement. Almost cave like roof,a large area but very dark. Apprehension sets in and I want to just leave as I had the feeling something was coming.I sensed or saw a few ' something's' don't know what they were but wasn't going to wait to find out.
Flew away still in darkness 360 vision. The last thing I saw was me in blackness and quite a few ' something's' quite a distance behind. They stopped . I was away.
End of OBE
Thoughts.
Right from the start of this experience I didn't have the same excitement as I've had with previous. Although the colours were beautiful I still didn't seem to be in awe as previously. Did the dream prior to this condition my mind to something? In the dream I was to have trust in the leader. ( silly looking cat)
I've OBEd before where I've entered a dark cave like setting and heard voices coming towards me and didn't run. In fact as I'm recording this the cave / basement like setting seemed similar.this was recorded page 14. 9/10/13. This one resulted in three men coming out with horses heads. I found this funny rather than frightening and remember picking up. " what ever you record don't forget these are your friends" . I never came up with any sound understanding for that one.
........ Just thinking here but maybe if I hadn't legged it this time but remembered the advice from the previous experience and treated them as my friends It may have ended differently.

Back to sleep for the last hour when I woke up to seeing and hearing someone playing the drums loudly. Wondered if this was my wake-up call. Checked clock, alarm went off.

Just an after thought but the senses here may have been the topic. Sensing danger.
Or another after thought . I failed a test on fear. Whatever it was I feel bad and therefore feel I failed.

[susan]

This morning I just became lucid in the dream when I had to go ( to wake up) . I've felt in a lovely mood all day. The part where I became lucid had me shown to a round table to sit at with a friend.( don't know who it was) . An old boss of mine is sitting at the table ahead of all of us and facing us. I notice I don't have a table setting. The others do. My chair starts to roll backwards towards the wall as if the ground was tilted. I pushed it back to the table, we all laughed at this when my friend announced to everyone that ' Susan has to go home now' .With that my chair started rolling back again, this time off the edge. I'm now in what is like a noddy car travelling downhill with others looking over the side smiling. I noticed my brow area had that snowy speckled flickering look to it. I tried to focus to get vision back but either just after or just prior to this ( cann't remember which) I felt re- entry with a bit of a bump.
I recalled rest of dream straight away feeling I've been laughing a lot.
The dream was I believe just my own thoughts being acted out but in three different occasions where I'm talking to someone ( dream character) I have been aware of someone in the background just watching . On the last occasion he came closer and in the dream I felt such kindness and warmth from him.
Even though as I said I feel this was a dream of my own creation the feeling of warmth and fun has stayed with me all day.

Something I forgot to note for journal happened just after the mother statue/ sea anenomie experience.
This only lasted a few seconds but twice someone gives me a big key. I'm now in a large room with large statues of different heights . They were like people, animals , figures. All white. Now I see myself outside watching someone closing the door. ( looked a bit like a spaceman) but he didn't lock it. He left and I saw that the door was ajar. Next thing I'm inside and the statues have come to life and slowly start to move. End.
I'm wondering if this could have been some kind of library with history as it happened around the same time I was given the big heavy book that was to show me the link between animals and humans and the mother figure statue was the same type of statue in the room?

[susan]

Something so strange but lovely has just happened.
Was writing a post on the mysticism forum about a post ( 2005) from an established member on Astral Pulse,
who suggested that planes of existance was an old fashioned way of thinking and it should be levels of perception instead. As I was writing a post on this forum about this as I checked what I had written I had written the word AKEO within the words with absolutely no thought at all within this time frame of this name. ( AKEO is a name mentioned for quite a period further back in the journal )
( also the name was the only word written in capital letters.)
Like many people I think, we tend to write fast and only check what we have written after so many words
( I Just love it ) simple mistakes ??

Missile Attack.
just want to add have just seen the news about another Malaysian airline brought down . All lives lost. Thought to have been a missile involved. Few days ago (5/7/14) wrote about a war scene where I was in an aircraft but other air crafts were being fired upon and bursting into flames. This was a war zone. I just wonder if it may have been this. At the time I could only think of my battle with giving up eating meat but I also felt that this was a little over dramatised for giving up meat.

Found good description of phasing which seems to be what is happening recently.( focusing on the blackness when eyes closed) and leaving through a particular focus point)

[susan]

I feel I can now draw a conclusion to this last event with AKEO and the writing but first for my own benefit for the journal I need to see the bigger picture of the last 18 months within the journal .
I need to take time over this so will be posted as time allows.

1st) TEACHERS.
( will emphasise here that these are not my most desired personalities so it wasn't wishful thinking)
LEARNT.
When I see a famous personality appearing in a short dream or just a quick flash of a picture ( symbol) this is a teacher telling me something. The reason I conclude this is at the beginning I needed help and sent out a thought that I would use the Betty Berthards book to interpret anything I found difficult. After the first I had to look up the rest just followed over time.
Examples
A) Had been wondering whether or not to drop the NEWS for a bit .
Saw BURT RENALD in the grounds of a castle having cannon balls firing through his chest . 2 seconds flash.
Message interpretation. Continue NEWS.

B) WARREN BEATTY pops his head around a corner of a door . Turns around and from the back his coat widens and is soiled.
Message interpretation. I'm not understanding clearly ( according to Kurt Leland's interpretation) this was after I started again to read ' the multi dimensional human' .

C) STING on the bed in a dormitory talking to his penis.
Message interpretation. Impregnation of ideas.( day after heavy day of reading and thinking) ( Betty Berthard.)
Was told I couldn't have done that if I had been working.

D) GEORGE CLOONY on the train where a young child was being taken to meet him and I was the observer. The mother figure stood
up with her hands in the prayer position and looked up to the sky as if she was talking to someone I couldn't see.
Message interpretation. I was on a journey and would get my wish eventually of meeting my teacher.

E) BOB GELDOF at the airport celebrating with a group of people singing and coats were given out. Mine was a green coat. Picked
up Heart chakra was now open.
Message Interpretation. Ability to discriminate dream characters from non physical entities. ( this was whilst reading Kurt's work)

Conclusion . My conclusions which to me make sense seem to be from what I am reading at the time.

Next will be symbols thrown at me.

[susan]

Symbols.
Symbols perceived very quickly often have nothing to do with what is currently in my thoughts prior to achieving the correct state to receive. They seem to have a much deeper universal meaning, more mystical.

Ankh symbol( thousands of them with a white background)
3 Pyramids ( beautiful different coloured)
Human looking eye.
Flame burning.

Then the ones that need a bit of thought to work out.

The hedgehog with a mans body.
The animal turning into man and killing another animal .
The man with the lamb under his shoulder and a wooden cross through its body.


Projection
Of course we project all the time but just haven't been aware of it so this is consciously attempted.

Started NEWS.
Slowly leave body. Explore the house. Did the card trick.( although whilst looking at the card where I had put it I saw my etheric hands trying to touch it to turn over as I couldn't see the picture. Gave up and the next day wondered what it was. Correctly guessed at Jack of Spades. So my astral vision at the time did not perceive but I could see reality fluctuations within house. Wrong flooring, fireplace taken out.)
Soon started just shooting upwards fast away from body after a very memorable bit of help that frightened me at first.
Got out one day and slowly floated onto the landing when something grabbed me by the legs and flung me in the air out through the window and I'm outside confused thinking what the bleep was that. Back to body. Of course this was the best way to learn even if it was startling at the time.
Still have RTZ when I am to learn something, but the difference now there is contact that I can see and interact with.
Astral body now consciously in use.
More recently had been encouraged to look into the brow. Had my first exit from the brow where I felt I literally flew out through the brow. Now it's slightly different . I don't get the feeling of leaving out through , rather just focus on a specific spot and move into it, along with it. I think this is ' phasing' .

Now the big Question. WHO AM I?
I have no answer. I still don't know. Last night I thought I knew. This morning I'm not sure now.
This started with me requesting to be taught to help with retrievals. Was told ' Theres no time for that . Do I understand? '
Was encouraged to Talk, Listen, and Look.
Really started last March.
Eggs/ babies/ children/ past lives/
Then I woke up to holding a new born baby who says. ' WHO AM I? Very next day AKEO is brought to me ( p7, 25/5/13) I knew this was a name I had to remember. So I've been thinking that AKEO was a past life personality.
Fast forward now to present time and the the mystery seems to becoming a tease almost but so impelling that I have to find out.
The times recorded with the witch type face and theme of imposter and being interviewed at the police station.
The strange dream where he was being interviewed in the police station and at the end he says he just picks up a pen and this just happens. He wanted to take over your life. So I wondered if maybe automatic writing may be the hint here for the future.

But the other day it happened when I was writing a post. AKEO came up in capital letters when I thought I was typing a different word in small letters then stopped to notice.
I think this whole mystery of Who I Am? has been leading up through different stages , still with teasing and mystery but for me to work out my name in spirit. AKEO.
( Michael Newton s book of past life regressions clearly has the participants when in trance and back in the spirit world all recalling spirit names they are known as rather then in the physical)
So that being sorted but I still don't know who I am. All I have is a name. So who's helping me? AKEO ? But that's me ?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAh
Going out now to do some chopping of the hedge and watering of plants. Stay grounded. Too early for the wine.

[susan]

Just to update how things are.
Still have not eaten any red meat. Surprised how there are so many other alternatives, and in fact just as enjoyable. Loosing weight also ( part of this I believe is cutting down on bread also)

Sorry but today have decided to delete the rest of this post.
Reason.... I need to stay focused , positive and grounded.

[susan]

I had an experience early this morning that I had decided not to record on the journal. This was a very important event for me but had me thinking just how far do we go before the warning signs start that have us wondering if we are are hallucinating . Everything has been so exciting and ' other dimensional' and in fact linking up. I believe everything so far that I have written , because what seemed weird to someone who read for the first time would actually make sense eventually to complete some kind of story.
So , before writing this I will remind myself of the time standing in someone's room where her placemats were mystical with someone sitting on top of a fish and flying in the air. This helped me feel that what I was experiencing may not be the same but was just as crazy. ( but the mats are sold world wide and acceptable)
Am I going crazy ? No! Throughout the day I hold down a very respectable caring self employed profession which gives me the opportunity to interact with many beautiful minded people.
Am I hallucinating? I don't know! If I am when did it start because my experiences have linked to a story which could take days or a few months to link in to a greater meaning.
IA, this is because you feel we should not censor what we get.

OBE.
After the last OBE and feeling I had failed in running away at the hint of a challenge the next couple of days I felt so abandoned. I seem to now know when spirit are around.Normal dreams to do with family life ( the above deleted ) Early hours I picked up " all I can do is lift you and the rest is up to you. '23rd ' and I saw this written in metallic blue.
Early this morning, rested, bathroom, little energy work but had set the alarm for 7.30 for work. Feet, could feel the tingling. Little brow work , silenced, trance, now the engine noise, not too loud . Pleased at this so focused on noise( I don't think I was specially focusing on the brow area) Raised up with astral engine type noise.after so far I remember the rest is up to me, so I tried to zoom up with force to get to the stars but if anything I carried along in the same direction which was sideways.
It gets lighter and now in front of me I see 3 giant chairs facing a wall. These were dentist chairs. Now I'm in one of these dentist chairs and I just know this is a test of fear.I can still hear the loud astral engine type noise but now I can hear the dentists drill. My chair is turned round with absolutely no request of mine but I was prepared .
"I said as it turned " okay okay, I know you cann't hurt me so just go away" . As I said that I saw a giant spaceman with a helmet on and a massive drill . He disappeared . Back to body. End of.
Back to sleep picked up
A post man delivering me a parcel.
Being told I had stayed till the end and only one left to do .
Saw a double decker bus and a famous personality ( Jeremy clarkson and his other half) on the top of an open double decker bus as it goes down a 180degree angle and they show all you have to do is crawl down like this as they crawl down the front of the bus. 26th)
So what I'm posting here is something I would have rather not. But have just read Robert's Catch Basket link' and we have to leave behind our beliefs and go with what we experience.
so I experienced this!
I feel if I had posted that I had had a battle with a devil and a sword fight with a warrior this may be more accepted as mystical.
I feel I need to finish with one last thought.
What we experience is related to our believes.
If you follow the mystical pathway and fairies, angels , dragons, etc etc, than when being tested you may encounter an experience involving these types of figures, and see this as a mystical challenge .
As I don't go down that route my challenge has been of ordinary everyday life. ( the dentist chair, the double decker bus)
But I still finish with at what point do I realise I may be hallucinating? Simply because this isn't like mystical tests but real life tests but not during normal physical wakening consciousness.

[susan]

Dream this am
I wake up to the song ....' The sun always shines in rainbow valley'.
I see myself propping up the washing line with the prop whilst two people pass me to go into the house.
I think this was a different dream.
I'm collecting young children and take them to a big house. A friend is with me and she has done the same.
There's something about my sandals and they are causing me to take my time in reaching the house. Difficulty in walking in them . As I'm now thereI ask where the rest of the family is . I'm told they have gone to the park. Do I want to go there? "

[eyeoneblack]

Imagination is ground central in the astral plane. It is what we imagine that, with enough investment, precipitates into the material world of our daily experience. Robert Bruce, among others, is a shepherd of our imaginations and can have good and productive influence on the underground aspirations of our imaginations. And so, imagination, by virtue of its binding connection with our subconscious, brings the worldly unseen and unknowable to our consciousness and enlightens our world view often to the benefit of our peace of mind and well-being.

The lucid dreamer is always awake, always interpreting - and- like you, Susan, encountering possibilities and that only imagination can present. You imagine and you create. It's not just a good idea, it's the Law.

[susan]

Woke up to " I'VE GOT MY EYES ON YOU".
recalled dream.
I take a seat at the front of the class and the teacher gives me a thin newspaper. I have to answer two questions but I have to read the paper to find the questions.
( this person had no identity to remember. Just female, therefor I don't associate this with a teacher as I've done in the past so may have been just my dream mind.)
However I started to wonder why I picked up the first bit about the eyes. Decided to look into brow and silence mind. Nothing.so back to sleep.
Between 6.30-9.30 in and out of consciousness each time waking up to hearing a song being sung. Feel as though I've had a lot of different topics covered. One was seeing my hand being handcuffed. ( been over spending again and promised myself I would cut down, specially after the symbol of the tiny white purse flashed up as a symbol and was told treasures are found within a few weeks ago.( Infinate Father) ) also I picked up again that I have to re-read the paper to find the questions.
The last song I woke up to was ,
" CANNT TAKE MY EYES OFF YOU, YOUR LIKE HEAVEN TO TOUCH....bla bla bla....
As I heard this I wondered what time it was as I could hear traffic outside. Decided I was out of time to try anything, time to get up when I picked up ". BUT I AM TIME".

So having written this all down I'm drawn towards the beginning and end. Both the song ,and the first bit is about being watched.
Cann't take my eyes off you and I've got my eye on you.
I think these two comments were the answer to my thoughts.
Yesterday was thinking of having a barbecue and it was very tempting the idea of having some lamb or steak. Going on holiday soon and my thoughts went to the temptation ahead also with the meat. I actually wondered if I did have just a little bit if it would be noticed. Whether I would get away with it ( stupid I know) and wondered if spirit would acknowledge this possible failure. My overspending also could refer to this.
Definitely feel everything remembered had a female presence so the words of the song at the end are irrelevant I think.