Nursing babies

[susan]

Another OBE and what a beautiful children's fantasy but I was aware from doing energy work , to sending out wishes to what I wanted to experience to looking into brow, and waiting, but it didn't turn out the way I expected.
Will record the event as it happened then put my interpretation on it.
What I want to say here, is that anyone who thinks that communication with the spirit world that relays a message is only real if it is a serious communication with either Angels or religious figures then I think your wrong. We have humour here, we pass on with humour.I have often recorded humour within my experiences, but also more serious tones where I think an important message was to be understood for my benefit.

OBE.
Woke up 4am , bathroom , tried little news, heart wasn't in it but had been going through much in physical where last 48 hours involved much loving care and compassion. Needing to think of one persons feelings and advising this person on the other persons feeling and giving advice so they could consider the self and look after the self but also consider how the other person was feeling and we had to go through different stages in the 48 hours.
Felt myself getting lighter and raising up, good, knew this was an early sign suggesting I was getting help here. Felt like wobbly jelly raise up but it seemed to take ages for any colour to set in , it was just the feeling of movement and seeing grey. Thought this then suddenly back to body and awake.
Dissapointed, alarm had been set for 7 am so plenty of time for sleep but after about an hour I realised I mustnt sleep in.
Little more energy with colour and all over and once again as I pass to the semi conscious stage I realise I feel that jelly wobbly feeling again. Thinking, this is my second chance, I've got to do it this time, there is something I have to see.
Focused on brow and the jelly wobbly feeling but focused on brow as much as I could.
Vision took a while to come in but it started with a small silver spark to the right, thought of previous silver Sparks and wondered if this would be an experience approaching a vortex that I am hoping to experience. ( I had sent out wishes to enter one and experience inside one)
It wasn't but this silver spark turned into a branch then a silver Christmas tree with decorations on with many colours still not seen realy clearly. Than a small gold spark but this added to part of another Christmas tree. This was all to right of me as I travelled backwards, looking behind me .
Now to the left was a green Christmas tree with wonderful decorations on and presents underneath it. As I was viewing what I had passed I saw this to be a department store with a beautiful lavish children's christmas scene and I recognised this department store as previous OBEs having taken place in. A while back where I was travelling backwards in water as if underground, this was the same place. Where I encountered the hairy ugly faced balls when I thought I was being tested for fear. As I'm travelling viewing behind me I'm aware I've been here before . Knew then this was a simulation taking place for my consideration/ attention.
I've now stopped and just looked, knowing what had just happened and that I was fully aware. I was in a department store filled with Christmas presents and trees. Took control and just for a second thought of this as a lucid dream and what to do next till I reminded myself that this wasn't a dream, I had been brought here.
Checked out the presents under the green tree to see what era they were. They were modern . Large children's train about 2 foot tall. Looked like a thomas the tank engine so knew this was our era now.
Next I see a small material looking male doll on the floor looking very stiff with its arms out like a scarecrow dressed in yellow and red. It suddenly jumps up into my arms and says " give me a kiss" . I feel silly but do but then need to take control of this situation and remember a previous encounter when a young boy spoke to me and I didn't exchange words, (during the OBE which left me feeling very humble.)
So I said "WHO ARE YOU"? It replied, " you chucked me for Jackson" .
I didn't reply but looked around me still holding ths doll, saw a lovely big log fire at the end of the room which appeared lit . I saw a big double bed to the right and there were two similar dolls appearing to be male and female sleeping on the bed as a couple. looked for an exit, window, door ,way out but there were none. I knew then as I stood holding this doll in ths magical children's christmas setting that I was not meant to find an exit out of here I to astral I was working out at the time of standing there that a real department store would not have a real log fire alight with no customers and no staff to attend. . This was for my attention. With that it faded and suddenly I was back in body . Looked at clock 5.25.
So my thoughts on thus.
Definite OBE.
This was not the crazy mixed up dream zone as I was fully aware and thinking as things were coming to my attention.
I did not create what I was wishing for ( to experience inside a vortex)
This was not real time zone due to the lit fire and the interaction with the doll.
I recognised the place as having been there before during simulations.
The doll was not a spirit disguising as a doll as I felt Nothing from it. This is important to me as a learning lesson on distinguishing a spirit in whatever form , to a dream character that I have created, to a character created for my benefit. I did not create this talking doll as it was not part of any dream. This was set up for me to consider and I think to enjoy and feel good about it.
I think this was just a way of saying " well done" ( presents) ( kiss) for what I'm currently working through in physical

[susan]

Over 55 'I' s in this last written account.
Also once again I seem to be ' KNOWING' a lot of time when recalling.
It's just that I feel at the time that I do know, is this arrogance from me , or is it that I DO know?
Must re- read before posting next time but I suppose I just get a little too excited when recalling .

Oops this was meant to be an edit added to last post.

[susan]

No energy work done over Christmas . No alcohol. Gave advice to son and woke up to ' report failure'. Did I give out wrong advice which was considering his feelings but not taking into account the other persons feelings? I think this was the case.
When you have a son with problems you feel allegence to him. Compassion is a hard task to fill which is considering feelings from all angles and all involved.
My husband directed my thoughts towards a middle line . ( he is helping me here where I have failed, he has no idea)
I feel I'm changing the goal post as events happen.
Failure is the feeling just now with me.
But I know this is just a short event in life that will soon be over and back to a normal .

[susan]

For my journal to note,
From what I experienced and concluded as a well done ; for what I thought may be to do with my actions in physical, to the feeling of failure just shows how easy it is to fall from grace. ( my own grace subconsciously, as I can recognise my own failure)
Aunt claire mentioned the difference of our own energy body ( kundalini energy ) and where it is compared to a vortex seen as a different energy. In that case any vortex viewed must be something to aim for . I may be wrong but the ones I've viewed have been above me going higher.( never have and never want to view one going downwards)
I find it hard to believe that any vortex could aim higher than the angelic silver city but then what do I know. I only record experiences.
There is so much out there within our reach and also currently out of our reach.
Must increase energy work, build up energy .
Just getting rid of 5 days of cold. Tried 2 hours energy when fell asleep very quickly. ( sometimes body just needs recovery period)

This morning woke up to seeing my front door with a milk bottle on the door step.
No dream attached, this was viewed in a flash.
Wondered at first if I should be drinking more milk. ( cannot bear to drink milk but have plenty of cheese and milk products.)
4 hours later I get word that our suitcase has been found and has been delivered to my door by the airline.
Some people go to the shop for milk and some get theirs delivered to their doors.( left on doorstep)
This is like one big jigsaw that has to be worked at piece by piece, sometimes we push pieces in to place because they look as if they fit and we want them to fit but in time a better piece ( meaning) comes along .

[susan]

Woke up first hearing 3 'Gongs' and being told " Now just listen and watch".
Dream
I was in a small boat floating in murky water,inside a dark, low ceiling cave and someone was with me at the other side of the boat.
I watch her as she bangs on the top of the water ( making this gong sound)and the mouth of a lovely white dolphin emerges under her hand. She is telling it to just listen and watch.
I was the observer sitting in the boat wondering why she had called the dolphin because we were just going out of the cave, and the water was murky and dark and not nice.

[susan]

I'm so pleased I don't just dismiss everything I wake up to. For me often its guidance I have to work out the meaning of.
However I will keep in mind that it may not always be helpful. On this occasion I'm sure it was .

Woke up about 2am, tried a little NEWS all over and then just looked into brow hoping to stay awake.
Fell asleep.
Woke up hearing myself having a good chatter. This was a couple of sentences as if I was telling someone about what is going on at the moment within family. As if I was updating them. Then the same voice said,
" RAISE THE GARLAND WITH THE LEVEL OF THE CADENCE". ( it may have been cadence and garland said the other way around)
I lay pondering this last sentence and knew I had heard of cadence before but couldn't think what it meant . It was now 5.35 .Visited bathroom and wrote down sentence so I didn't have to try to remember for the morning.

Settled down to try news again and try to exit. I'm just not getting anything in the brow recently and I miss it. Working with visualisation excercises but during meditation practice I still have problems silencing the mind.I just wish I could zoom out of the brow like I did once that was exhilarating. In the end just focused on circling the feet over and over and over again.
Could feel energy travel up to knees, kept going when eventually could feel my feet raise up out of body. They were swinging backwards and forwards. The problem here is I got kicked. This made me think I had kicked my husband's leg and he had kicked me back so wide awake again. I wonder here if this was one of my etheric legs touching my husband's etheric legs if he was just hovering above his body. It's possible, anyway he was fast asleep.
Tried again the same way and very quickly. I feel the feet then legs then torso raise up .
Was moving behind but found myself going forwards as if flying on my stomach . Had no vision. This seemed to go on too long .
The mistake I think I made next was to wonder if I would end up in the same setting as last time so now vision came in and I think I had created my own images of the long room I've experienced a few times. Saw a large toy aeroplane to the right but lucidity wasn't good . Vision wasn't good.
Woke up.
Pleased but also dissapointment. For days now I've wanted to get out and interact with characters ( even if it is a doll)I've wanted to experience vortexes, so why was I so unexcited about this one? Was it my lucidity?
Pleased because I've confirmed for my own benefit that if I'm not able to leave through the brow as I've done before, then I'm right to concentrate circling the feet for an exit after the initial energy raising. Go with what works for me at the moment.
Lying in bed thinking this out . It was 9.30 time to get up.

Now looked up meaning of Cadence .
Cadence in cycling is the pedalling rate( number of revolutions of the crank per minute) (Feet, circles.)
Garland, the measure of beat of movement, balanced rhythmic flow.( garland - around)

I feel this was advice on speeding up the circular motion on the feet to a faster pace to separate,
I was talking to myself, I was advising myself .
Maybe this short projection wasn't meant to end up anywhere but was just guiding me (as I was feeling frustrated at lack of brow activity, )to what works for me at the moment.
I like the fact that I decided to do this after picking up the sentence but before I worked out the meaning.
Was this the more knowledgeable part of who I am advising me.

[susan]

Dream,

I'm going back to college but the taxi fare to get there is too expensive , but I pay it, not sure if I can afford to keep this up. When I get to THURSDAY I'm told I've paid enough. Just one more pound to pay.I was happy with this, I'd thought it was to be even more.
This meant I could move into the dormitory. I was now in the dormitory where I was looking at my bed happy that I was so close to college. Next some girls lead me into the shower room and tell me I must shower first before leaving.
I'm now on a bus which is full of people but we have to wait for one more person. She rushes over dragging her heavy case. I know her in physical. She wrote a book about her dog.( she realy did) .As I wait at the front of the bus the bus driver is slouched over the wheel in a very relaxed way. ( this reminds me of the bus driver from a few months ago , the way he was slouched over the wheel, but he didn't have a witch face this time.)
I remember being introduced to someone, but cannt remember who. I remember a load of dogs rushing up to me and one has fur on that matches my coat. I joke that I need to keep this one.
I wake up at this stage and go over everything. As I'm drifting back to sleep my mind is still active and a lovely soft loving voice says " hush my dear, stay silent". Went to sleep. Woke up seeing 2 identical pens lying on a piece of paper. Remembered a news reporter sitting at his desk about to announce something quickly, but the camera now goes to another reporter who needs to announce something instead, then a third. Suddenly I woke up feeling a thud as if I'd been woken up by surprise. Saw the pens.

This dream speaks volumes to me as to what is on my mind at the moment. Strong possibility just wishful thinking, only time will tell but what stands out for me was the soft loving voice telling me to hush and stay silent. I have only heard that softness once near the beginning of the journal.

[susan]

Very short dream.
Didn't do any energy work through night. Decided not to attempt anything as I knew my mind was troubled over an e mail ,therefore
as Kurt has written , don't attempt unless you have the four levers in place.
Whatever I dreamt I didn't attempt to recall.
Back to sleep awakening to this very short dream.

I'm standing in a room looking into this large glass tank filled to the top with water.
There are two small white rockets lying next to each other flat on the ground on their sides inside the tank. At the bottom of each rocket there is a small opening. Someone is behind me. We are watching two small babies ( toddlers) playing inside the tank having fun. They are just bouncing around laughing and going in and out of their rocket. I remember they had lovely white outfits on , nothing to do with space, just lovely cute outfits. One baby went inside the rocket and hadn't come out by the time the dream was over. This got me a little alarmed incase they got locked in and couldn't get out, thinking surly they will have cameras inside the rocket as well to keep an eye as I felt they were being monitored by many people.
The other baby went over to the glass wall and it's here that I suddenly realise that they are under water and breathing with no oxygen. I said this to the person behind me.
I'm just starting to wonder if this has anything to do with pre birth whilst in the woman's womb or to show me that you don't need to breath under water in astral, but I knew this already. Then I woke up.

Haven't realy worked out the relevance of this one.
Looked up Betty Berthards interpretation on rocket and ... Spiritual growth, ( if taking off soaring to new heights of awareness)
But they were lying on their side so it's not that. It's the breathing under water bit that in my dream I was drawn to.

[eyeoneblack]

I haven't been by in while, Susan, I but was reminded how much I enjoy your dreams. My experience has been that you will enjoy your dreams for the rest of your life. I've taken the weight out of them and some are just Looney Tunes while others are great and strange adventures.
It's been my understanding that water is the element of the Astral, and it should be no surprise to you that you are 'comfortable' in the Astral. Long ago I dreamed of breathing (life) under water - a tea party in the sea - and I was silenced by it in a way. Quiet.
Two babies come out of the mental-space ship, one returns, the other stays for the experience. Which one is you? I bet I know.

[susan]

Two mornings ago early am just lay wondering with a lot of thoughts going on in my head.
The usual needing to know more and even feeling I'm expecting too much too often. It's not as if My purpose in life is to write a book and educate people on this topic so maybe I am expecting too much. My husband will also have a ' higher self', is it possible I communicate with this part of him when in astral ?
Back to sleep.
Woke up to a quick Flash of a scene. Very showbiz . 3 people sitting on the back of a big car waving, dressed in theatrical showbiz clothes, black suites with top hats and the woman in similar. Sky scrapers behind them with lights everywhere.
This was a showbiz scene with the actors on parade.
It had nothing to do with the dream I recalled which was very gruesome ending with something flying off saying ' I hear you have a new Vicar.
I wasn't going to bother recording this but have just read Leyla's reply on a thread suggesting life as a play.
Also read a suggestion here that it is possible that when we experience something not nice in a dream it may be our subconscious trying to wake us up in the dream, to gain lucidity. This is something I have not been able to do so far, except once. I've only experienced from leaving body.
I have a new vicar. ......A vicar represents a parish of people who he/ she will be there for and advise and listen and Guide.