Finally some success.

[DarkChylde]

Lately I' had been very occupied with a lot of things and hadn't any adequate spiritual exercise at all .Consequently I had been remiss in devoting time to Kundalini work. Every time the question "Why DC! when did you last make your spiritual practice?" would come up in my mind I'd hush it away saying "next I will add more work to it" with willful determination (to assuage guilt and hush away the more sybaritic life style)- in the course of doing so I have realized a 2 essential things that were barricading much needed headway for me.


*I had assigned my spiritual work in an almost OCD manner.
I say this because whenever I sit down to practice I tear off fresh cotton wool and stuff it in my ears.Put white noise on loop.Shut the doors and put discarded jeans underneath the creak space to prevent light from entering.Sometimes I even leave the faucet running to prevent "bathroom type of noises" like a gurgling commode or the generalized rumbles from distracting me.
(btw if your bathroom is right next to your room leaving the exhaust on with the white noise on loop will even mute down dog barks , ambient chatter and truck/large-vehicle type of noise effectively while ensuring proper ventilation)
I'm even more particular about the place I used to sit in and made almost canine circumambulation about till I felt "satisfied" that all "pre-meditation situations had been dealt with" before finally assuming lotus.
Needless to say I needed more integration and less of ritual and ceremony.


*I had compartmentalized my life in a "Spiritual VS. Secular" manner.
I think the main reason why I have made these two distinctions is because , to be very frank I cherish the time I spend in Kundalini work , it feels good because I can literally dissociate from mundane concerns and retreat into an escape bubble.There is nothing wrong with this as a practice per se , but overtime it becomes more of a restriction than a retreat , that's because (allow me to be very blatantly cliche) ; we live in a spiritual world the rest is all sort of a "working reality" that we are interfaced in.
The other reason why I made this distinction is also because I want to maintain a very healthy amount of skepticism regardless of whatever I'm engaged in and without this the line between the spiritual and the secular really blurs out.
To fully accept and integrate my choice of devoting my self to this work I need practice more acceptance.Putting faith into something is not the same as compromising skepticism.


To address these concerns , over the last few months I made the decision to step out of my comfort zone and integrate practice in everyday life.
I started doing this by small steps like doing spinal breathing while brushing teeth in the morning , waiting for the traffic light to turn green etc etc.
Lo and behold , guess what? I could hardly take my breath up to my head! (from then onwards I accepted the challenge and pushed myself to do spinal breathing with more precision while running errands and whatever I was doing at any particular day).
After that I started doing the very simple Spinal Circuits , like the plain up the back , out the scalp , down the front and back to upwards from the spine - till I achieved at least an ordinary level of continuous flow.
After that I started doing the Full Circuits.These were really tough I could hardly get any flow going.So I tweaked and tweaked the procedure till I found I could do the more lengthy circuits while drinking water , watching tv or folding up laundry.


I have noticed a very palpable change.First off my muscular memory has literally peaked , if I start a circuit let's say while browsing or answering e-mails , if I lose track and get engaged in work and then resume , I can easily "pick up" the flow a little or even moderately ahead of where I was when consciously left it (some how this modicum of success is HUGE to me - I'm every proud it.)


Also much like the decision to eat healthy , regular exercise or gym - I have made the proactive choice with practice too.The OCD need to find time and "sit down" for practice and the disappointment of not doing that ensues , has greatly alleviated , now I don't feel as bad or as guilty as I used to.I can simply get on with my routine wherever I'm at.


I feel like I also have made progress with acceptance issues and balanced out the "quest" like , almost obsessive urge to cultivate Kundalini

[BDeye]

*I had assigned my spiritual work in an almost OCD manner.

I tend to do this as well, everything gets written down, from time to type of practice.

To fully accept and integrate my choice of devoting my self to this work I need practice more acceptance.Putting faith into something is not the same as compromising skepticism.

I particularly like this statement. Although I'm in short supply of faith. I do tend to analyse everything maybe to a point of OCD.

I think I will instate this approach of trying to get practice in whenever I have the opportunity (at work or brushing my teeth or staring at the tv). Funny the idea has been hovering about in the cavity between my ears but I just needed a little refresher, very cool, thank you.

[DarkChylde]

I tend to do this as well, everything gets written down, from time to type of practice.

I know right? with me the problem is that if i'm not following all the direction in a particular exercise right down to the tee - I feel like I'm not "really" doing it right.Then recognized what was going on and started working on flexibility.

I do tend to analyse everything maybe to a point of OCD.

me too , it's sort of like this insidious cycle "today is the sort of day I must practice in 3 sessions" - and obviously those 3 sessions don't happen and consequently the dismay "builds up" and overtime you start feeling really crummy about it.
Then I launch into "what went wrong mode" - "why am I not getting results?" "Why are these symptoms not happening like described?" "Did I do it right?"
A large part of this problem is for me had been the fact that I used to consider "on the go" kind of work as sloppy and amatureish (the sort of thing rushed people do in order to make up for lack of effort) and tantamounted this to "cheating" and felt guilty about it - until I decied "Hey lets just tweak this the way it suits me ...and see what happens?" - I was resolute in making this work and good things followed.

I think I will instate this approach of trying to get practice in whenever I have the opportunity (at work or brushing my teeth or staring at the tv). Funny the idea has been hovering about in the cavity between my ears but I just needed a little refresher, very cool, thank you

Your'e very welcome , glad my grant was wrothwhile

[eyeoneblack]

I just wanted to comment about this:

*I had assigned my spiritual work in an almost OCD manner.
I say this because whenever I sit down to practice I tear off fresh cotton wool and stuff it in my ears.Put white noise on loop.Shut the doors and put discarded jeans underneath the creak space to prevent light from entering.Sometimes I even leave the faucet running to prevent "bathroom type of noises" like a gurgling commode or the generalized rumbles from distracting me.
(btw if your bathroom is right next to your room leaving the exhaust on with the white noise on loop will even mute down dog barks , ambient chatter and truck/large-vehicle type of noise effectively while ensuring proper ventilation)
I'm even more particular about the place I used to sit in and made almost canine circumambulation about till I felt "satisfied" that all "pre-meditation situations had been dealt with" before finally assuming lotus.
Needless to say I needed more integration and less of ritual and ceremony.

I was in a Kriya yoga meditation group a few years and the many members (100+) thought that instruments and singing added to the experience when we were doing a 'quickening' or extended meditation. I thought it was very distracting (the music) and complained to myself about it for quite some time. And then came a day or weekend that the music couldn't be heard anymore because my level of meditative trance/ engagement had shut it out. I knew I had advanced. Often, when even we're just daydreaming, the sounds of the world will fade away and it takes something sudden to knock us out of our reverie.
You may be less 'compulsive' about your exersizes and meditation if you keep this in mind.

Having not read the whole thread, these comments may be out of context. But I just wanted to make the point.......

[DarkChylde]

no you aren't entirely off , but luckily i have very few distractions because my kundalini routine is very cut out as it is.
I also take a healthy "off" period to assimilate the energy and let it do what it has to.
Erstwhile i didn't know what overloads are.It takes a lot of time and effort with trial and error to discover what is too much and what is just exactly right.

[ButterflyWoman]

I'm going to plant some seeds. Maybe they'll grow into something.

"Spirituality" is not something you do, it is the fabric of Reality, of every Reality. There is no division of "spiritual" and "non-spiritual".

A fish living in the ocean is always in the ocean, even if they decide to say that this bit over here is where the ocean REALLY is, while that bit over there, by the reeds, or by the rocks, or by the shore, well, that bit isn't actually the ocean, that's the "not-ocean" part... Or that bit is "sea" and this bit is "ocean" and that bit over there is "shore" and lets divide it all up in to even more parts and places and so on. But it's actually all still ocean, you know? The divisions are arbitrary.

Take that for whatever it's worth. Maybe someone will read it and it will trigger something, or eventually grow into something. Or not.

[DarkChylde]

I'm going to plant some seeds. Maybe they'll grow into something.

[eyeoneblack]

"Spirituality" is not something you do, it is the fabric of Reality, of every Reality. There is no division of "spiritual" and "non-spiritual".

A fish living in the ocean is always in the ocean, even if they decide to say that this bit over here is where the ocean REALLY is, while that bit over there, by the reeds, or by the rocks, or by the shore, well, that bit isn't actually the ocean, that's the "not-ocean" part... Or that bit is "sea" and this bit is "ocean" and that bit over there is "shore" and lets divide it all up in to even more parts and places and so on. But it's actually all still ocean, you know? The divisions are arbitrary.

That is truly a seed of wisdom and something to contemplate . But I have to wonder if a fish in a bucket is still in the ocean? Maybe pushing your metaphor too far - but that's part of the contemplation.

[ButterflyWoman]

I didn't say the fish was in a bucket.

And, anyway, the bucket is an illusion, too. Come to think of it, so is the fish...

[eyeoneblack]

Huhnn... touche.