Help with Persistent Death-related Depression

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Fantastic!!! Thank you soooooo much. These links are an amazing antidote to the waves of depression. Whenever one sweeps over me, I try a number of things, and if those just don't cut it, I turn to these links to put my energy to better use. Thank you a million times over.

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Thank you, the comments and love have really helped me through this experience.

I totally appreciate what you are speaking to, and it's a technique I use often -- especially in day-to-day type scenarios, like if I'm triggered by someone (at work, on the freeway, friends/family), and also whenever a little personal mini pitty-party starts to emerge from something that might have happened during the course of the day (doing something awkward, messing up, etc).

There are some forms of depression though that just can't be touched by my will, at least not in the state i am in. It seems like in those instances the only option i have is to 'ride it out', but sometimes it goes for hours and hours, into days, which just doesn't work -- it's not healthy to be depressed that long.

Now when I'm stuck in that space, and all of my internal efforts don't change the overwhelming weight, I occupy my mind with these perspectives and links. I know that this is a much better use of my "now", and it definitely works much faster than anything I try internally.

Much love and gratitude for your love and communication!

[ButterflyWoman]

There are some forms of depression though that just can't be touched by my will, at least not in the state i am in. It seems like in those instances the only option i have is to 'ride it out', but sometimes it goes for hours and hours, into days, which just doesn't work -- it's not healthy to be depressed that long.

I know. Been there, done that. In that situation, the ONLY thing that ever helped was the "one moment at a time" thing. Just this moment. Next may be something else entirely. Just right now, I'll stop worrying and fretting and beating myself up and chasing my own tail (yes, expert on that, just for the record). I hope it might help you, too. I hated that place, that darkness where nothing mattered and nothing was worth doing and all I wanted to do was stop breathing and stop BEING.

You have my utmost love and support. It's not easy getting out of the abyss. It can be done, though. I can promise you that.

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Hi EyesWideOpen,

In answer to your questions:

I'd like to live: long enough to not leave anyone behind who would bear the weight of my absence in a way that negatively affected their life; long enough to feel like I had done enough to move on; long enough to figure out if there is more to being than living.

I would like to achieve spiritual development, regular astral projection, and peace. My number one goal in life is to figure out if there is more to being than living, and if there is, share that with as much of the world as I possibly can. It doesn't have to be a heroic, look-at-me, type thing, I do my best to contextualize and repurpose such energy internally. That said, I know from my experience that mortality has a tremendous amount to do with what's not working in this world.

My efforts to achieve those things (spiritual development, projection, peace) have not yet been successful.

As regards your comment about doing something risky, I did take a similar, but different approach, in increasing my level of physical activity. I am also gently adding more energy work and dream logging too. Reading, exercise, and dreaming/projecting is what I am working on and my long-term focus.

Thank you for your comments, I have taken it to heart (and mind), and will continue to reflect upon it.

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Thank you, Butterfly Woman.

I live alone, and it really helps to hear these things echoed by someone else.

I don't know if anyone else here has experienced what i am about to describe, but sometimes i feel like even though I'm often self-sufficient with which thoughts get air time internally, the affect they have, etc., at some points I am not, and my attempts at positivity are overpowered by doubting thoughts, waves of depression, etc.

In such instances, having someone else speak from their own experience, and having their comments align with my positive thoughts is all it takes to kick the negativity off my internal stage.

It's kind of like two people arguing over something, than having a third person approach with a piece of information that dissolves the disagreement and misunderstanding.

Again, I really do make an effort to not become dependent on such validation, I think that's really important -- both personally and spiritually. That said, in some instances, it really does work wonders.

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Hi Josh, I did read the power of now, and should probably revisit it -- I've added it to my reading list. Thanks for the suggestion!

[ButterflyWoman]

Everyone needs a hand up now and then. Nobody can actually pull themselves up by their own bootstraps. Eventually, you'll be out of the pit far enough that you won't need the help, but while you do, there's no shame in getting some help.

[Frater.Akenu]

Thanks for your response Akenu,

It is true that the now is the seat of one's experience. The challenge for me has been that my "now" can be completely consumed with the fear of dying. Not fear of the future, nor the past, but just death and dying in general. Sometimes I don't even think of dying myself, and instead think of the countless people dying across the world, and the unimaginable pain and tragedy that engulfs such "now"s.

I have definitely taken your advice, and others, to heart tho. When I experience a wave of depression I remind myself that this "now" really could be spend better. Even though it's seemingly beyond my control, I still repeat that thought during such moments.

Sorry for the delay in answering, I am currently enjoying vacation with my family. Actually, are/were you scared of death or what happens after death?

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Dread (death-related depression), as I see it is comprised of a few things. The sadness that arises when one contemplates: the loss of "life/experience/being", the loss of loved ones, the pain and difficulties experienced by others after one has died, and the probability that there is nothing after death.

And for some, particularly those close to death, there is likely a fear/sadness about the event of dying. Feeling life being "taken" away, despite one's efforts to hold on, is a horrible thing. I've seen it, and I don't know of many things that are equally soul-crushing, painful, and sad.


Imagine how different the world would be if people really knew, not just believed, that there was more to being than a brain. I have a feeling that would make the world a much brighter place with much less pollution, greed, and aggression.