Help with Persistent Death-related Depression

[broken]

Wow, I seemed to have missed this part of Livergood's view...

http://www.hermes-press.com/plato_OBE.htm
http://youtu.be/dQYhpXhOhjY

[IA56]

Thanks again for your comment GMAN12,

I have had lucid and potentially astral experiences, at first, I saw them through the lens of the books I was reading, which included pretty much all of RB's. After some time however, I was left feeling like it wasn't anything more than the brain. I tried remote / RTZ viewing to test the idea of a energetic body, which turned up negative. I tried to contact people who had died, hoping to find someone I didn't know in life in the non-physical planes and then find proof of their life in the physical world.

I followed the work of Elmer Green and others, hoping to find evidence of beings outside of the living, I did not see anything there either.

As for experiencing Kundalini rising, I may in fact look into that. I often wonder though if I did anything wrong when doing NEW while I was a teenager. Could it have played in part in my becoming so depleted and depressed? To be clear, I am not looking to blame energy work for my depression. I believe that I carry that albatross, for reasons similar to the ancient mariner.

As for it being a fear of the unknown, or the fear of the known (well, highly probable)... For ages, my motto was: death may be final, it may not, but either way you don't know 100% -- that was what helped me, the idea that even if death is the end, and AP/LD are just the brain, that we don't yet really know 100%, so any "stance" on them are biased and could just be let go.

Over time however, I've seen some advancements in the camp of AP/LD is just the brain, but haven't seen any advancements to the contrary.


From my experience, I know that talking with people who are depressed is often considered to be near useless. There is no proof of life after death, or of AP (that I know of), and so it's just a matter of perspective. And the depressed are often stuck in a loop and return again and again to their pain. I am trying my best to not shoot everything down and feed it back into my negative loop. I guess I'm just hoping that someone out there has some new and amazing proof of AP/life after death, or maybe some experiences they had which helped them with this topic.

I also feel like this whole topic could be a block for me in my AP work. That I often don't make it past the vibrations due to a fear that my astral projection work will be like my LD work, and eventually feel more and more like it's just the mind, and that remote viewing and RTZ tests don't work. Astral projection was in many ways, my last hope. Maybe part of me knows that if that goes, I might not have hope left (I'm not trying to be overly dramatic in saying that).

Hi broken,
When I read your note´s I get the feeling that you are only "thinking" and not properly "doing" the training to get the real experience, and this is making you depressed, or is it that you are so depressed and do not have the strength to practis properly?? to get the right development in your other bodies??
If I am wrong out feeling wrong, then I do appologize and forgive me please, my intention are only good and I so much want to help you, and this was an urge to say to you.....I hope it is right and helpful.

Love
ia

[ButterflyWoman]

Well, trust me to be the oddball, but...

I have, since I was a child, been kind of happy about the idea that death really is THE END. That there is no more work, toil, pain, struggle, or other nonsense. I realised pretty early on that if I didn't exist, I would not know it, so what does it matter? If it's like a light switch going off, how would I "know"? I would not be present to know anything, to experience knowing that I no longer exist, so...

For me, it's a bit like going under general anesthesia. You're there, experiencing, and then, the switch flips and you're gone. Eventually, you wake up from that (at least, I always have ), but if I didn't? How would it matter at all? How could it? The answer is: It doesn't matter. You won't know, you won't care, and if that's the way it's meant to be, well, that's the way it is.

This may not help the depression, I know, but I have a lifelong history of depression and I always find this thought of nonexistence quite comforting.

And I'm not saying that this IS what happens when you die. I don't know what happens. I just kind of like the idea of it really being "the end". If it's not, well, that's okay, too. I actually don't know and don't care any more and I rarely think about it.

That being said, this kind of thinking can also be a sign of imminent spiritual awakening. The ego-self (i.e., that collection of traits you think of as "you") knows on some level that if there is awakening, it will have to see itself for what it really is. Or rather, for what it is not. That's a pretty scary thought. But once that hurdle has been passed and you really understand who and what you REALLY are, the fear dissipates entirely. It becomes an absolute non-issue.

And for the record, other than some occasional Seasonal Affective Disorder (which is biological), I haven't had any depression to speak of in many, many years. It is possible to heal that completely.

[broken]

Hi Ia,

Perhaps it is my long-winded comments which are more deserving of an apology! I guess there are two aspects there.

On the one hand, my prior experience, in which I was likely was having experiences (the vibrations and a heart chakra opening were quite intense). Perhaps leaving chakras open, or not developing them properly, led to issues later. Again, I take full responsability for my depression, but am curious of the effects of doing things incorrectly. I remember some of what was said in NEW about such instances.

On the other hand, is my depression related to AP and life after death being an illusion. That definitely stifles my AP work. I wonder if part of me doesn't want to have an experience similar to my Lucid Dreaming, Remote Viewing, etc work -- where I ultimately was led to the conclusion that it was just mental.

Maybe I fear coming to the conclusion that AP was just mental, I live that conclusion now, and it's not exactly a good life.

[broken]

Hi ButterflyWoman,

Congrats on overcoming your depression. I know what it's like to live life without the depression, and it's awesome to hear you are there!

For me, I actually feel quite similar about the moment of death, but it's not facing my own death with is the cause of my depression. Rather, it's facing my own life of mortality -- living a life knowing (again, most likely) that death is immanent and final. That's what eats away at me and prevents me from living.

As I look back at my life, it's been all downhill since I experienced the deaths of people close to me. Again, I take ownership of my response to those experiences, but if someone were to say -- should my teenager be there while so-and-so dies, I honestly could not possibly say yes. It seems to have really messed me up, even more so when my attempts to assist them, contact them, etc, failed.

[IA56]

Hi Ia,

Perhaps it is my long-winded comments which are more deserving of an apology! I guess there are two aspects there.

On the one hand, my prior experience, in which I was likely was having experiences (the vibrations and a heart chakra opening were quite intense). Perhaps leaving chakras open, or not developing them properly, led to issues later. Again, I take full responsability for my depression, but am curious of the effects of doing things incorrectly. I remember some of what was said in NEW about such instances.

On the other hand, is my depression related to AP and life after death being an illusion. That definitely stifles my AP work. I wonder if part of me doesn't want to have an experience similar to my Lucid Dreaming, Remote Viewing, etc work -- where I ultimately was led to the conclusion that it was just mental.

Maybe I fear coming to the conclusion that AP was just mental, I live that conclusion now, and it's not exactly a good life.

after all appologizing to each others we may continue
Now when I read this I get the feeling that it is the ego battle, and ego is so afraid to die...but here you have to calm him/her down, and make it perfectly clear that it is a matter of co-operation and no-ones death so to speak....so you might be helped to read about the alcemical wedding....the re-union....I lack the right word´s but I am sure you understand what I am trying to tell you.

Love
ia

[Frater.Akenu]

"Some people are so much scared of the death that they are forgetting how to live", this is what my master once told me. Broken, you are not alive in the past and you still not much live in the future, only time when you are truly alive is right here and right now. Be conscious of your life and enjoy every moment of it, life itself is only this right moment, nothing before and nothing after. Things before are just memories and things after have yet to come.

[Eyeswideopen]

Hi Broken,

I get the sense that all the feelings you have around death that are obviously very painful for you. May infact be a way that your own psyche is avoiding your daily life. Is there stuff in your life in the here and now that you are avoiding? If you have looked at that then, just to let you know there is always someone around to hear and support you.

Ewo

[CFTraveler]

Hi b.
I would like to address one of the questions you posted yesterday: There have been many validations in my experience that show that, even if it's a mind effect (projection, that is) it does show that there is a way to exist outside the body. I don't know if it's temporary, but I have had many validations that proved to me beyond the shadow of a doubt that at least four times I got out of my local environment and perceived what was happening somewhere else.
As for the existence of God, I've never been sure what one thing has got to do with the other- and it of course depends on what your notion of what God's supposed to be is.
I don't know if this satisfies your questions, as I realize that I'm just a stranger in the internet telling you I've had validations- but that's all I can offer regarding that.
I hope you can find solace in the idea that you can make eternity possible now, even if for a moment, in a moment of your choosing.

[GMAN12]

Beautiful CF