Help with Persistent Death-related Depression

[IA56]

Hi Ia,

Perhaps it is my long-winded comments which are more deserving of an apology! I guess there are two aspects there.

On the one hand, my prior experience, in which I was likely was having experiences (the vibrations and a heart chakra opening were quite intense). Perhaps leaving chakras open, or not developing them properly, led to issues later. Again, I take full responsability for my depression, but am curious of the effects of doing things incorrectly. I remember some of what was said in NEW about such instances.

On the other hand, is my depression related to AP and life after death being an illusion. That definitely stifles my AP work. I wonder if part of me doesn't want to have an experience similar to my Lucid Dreaming, Remote Viewing, etc work -- where I ultimately was led to the conclusion that it was just mental.

Maybe I fear coming to the conclusion that AP was just mental, I live that conclusion now, and it's not exactly a good life.

after all appologizing to each others we may continue
Now when I read this I get the feeling that it is the ego battle, and ego is so afraid to die...but here you have to calm him/her down, and make it perfectly clear that it is a matter of co-operation and no-ones death so to speak....so you might be helped to read about the alcemical wedding....the re-union....I lack the right word´s but I am sure you understand what I am trying to tell you.

Love
ia

[GMAN12]

Since you brought up Elmer Green, you should read Beyond Biofeedback by Elmer Green. It is pretty amazing what those people could do. Also if you would like to talk to another person who had been to the end, to the side of demonic things and is on the middle path, you could look for EA Koetting. He is a real nice guy as well as a very advanced practitioner himself. He actually had some interviews with him and his website is set up the same way as Robert's because they both have the same website manager. I definitely urge you to read Beyond Biofeedback though. I love that book!

[GMAN12]

I'm good. Also you could read an Excerpt on Swami Rama from beyond biofeedback here:

http://www.swamij.com/pdf/swami-rama...iofeedback.pdf

[broken]

Wow, I seemed to have missed this part of Livergood's view...

http://www.hermes-press.com/plato_OBE.htm
http://youtu.be/dQYhpXhOhjY

[ButterflyWoman]

Well, trust me to be the oddball, but...

I have, since I was a child, been kind of happy about the idea that death really is THE END. That there is no more work, toil, pain, struggle, or other nonsense. I realised pretty early on that if I didn't exist, I would not know it, so what does it matter? If it's like a light switch going off, how would I "know"? I would not be present to know anything, to experience knowing that I no longer exist, so...

For me, it's a bit like going under general anesthesia. You're there, experiencing, and then, the switch flips and you're gone. Eventually, you wake up from that (at least, I always have ), but if I didn't? How would it matter at all? How could it? The answer is: It doesn't matter. You won't know, you won't care, and if that's the way it's meant to be, well, that's the way it is.

This may not help the depression, I know, but I have a lifelong history of depression and I always find this thought of nonexistence quite comforting.

And I'm not saying that this IS what happens when you die. I don't know what happens. I just kind of like the idea of it really being "the end". If it's not, well, that's okay, too. I actually don't know and don't care any more and I rarely think about it.

That being said, this kind of thinking can also be a sign of imminent spiritual awakening. The ego-self (i.e., that collection of traits you think of as "you") knows on some level that if there is awakening, it will have to see itself for what it really is. Or rather, for what it is not. That's a pretty scary thought. But once that hurdle has been passed and you really understand who and what you REALLY are, the fear dissipates entirely. It becomes an absolute non-issue.

And for the record, other than some occasional Seasonal Affective Disorder (which is biological), I haven't had any depression to speak of in many, many years. It is possible to heal that completely.

[broken]

Hi ButterflyWoman,

Congrats on overcoming your depression. I know what it's like to live life without the depression, and it's awesome to hear you are there!

For me, I actually feel quite similar about the moment of death, but it's not facing my own death with is the cause of my depression. Rather, it's facing my own life of mortality -- living a life knowing (again, most likely) that death is immanent and final. That's what eats away at me and prevents me from living.

As I look back at my life, it's been all downhill since I experienced the deaths of people close to me. Again, I take ownership of my response to those experiences, but if someone were to say -- should my teenager be there while so-and-so dies, I honestly could not possibly say yes. It seems to have really messed me up, even more so when my attempts to assist them, contact them, etc, failed.

[Frater.Akenu]

"Some people are so much scared of the death that they are forgetting how to live", this is what my master once told me. Broken, you are not alive in the past and you still not much live in the future, only time when you are truly alive is right here and right now. Be conscious of your life and enjoy every moment of it, life itself is only this right moment, nothing before and nothing after. Things before are just memories and things after have yet to come.

[broken]

Thanks for your response Akenu,

It is true that the now is the seat of one's experience. The challenge for me has been that my "now" can be completely consumed with the fear of dying. Not fear of the future, nor the past, but just death and dying in general. Sometimes I don't even think of dying myself, and instead think of the countless people dying across the world, and the unimaginable pain and tragedy that engulfs such "now"s.

I have definitely taken your advice, and others, to heart tho. When I experience a wave of depression I remind myself that this "now" really could be spend better. Even though it's seemingly beyond my control, I still repeat that thought during such moments.

[josh437781]

It is true that the now is the seat of one's experience. The challenge for me has been that my "now" can be completely consumed with the fear of dying. Not fear of the future, nor the past, but just death and dying in general. Sometimes I don't even think of dying myself, and instead think of the countless people dying across the world, and the unimaginable pain and tragedy that engulfs such "now"s.

I have definitely taken your advice, and others, to heart tho. When I experience a wave of depression I remind myself that this "now" really could be spend better. Even though it's seemingly beyond my control, I still repeat that thought during such moments.

The book "the power of now" is a good book for this. Have you read it? It talks about relating to negative emotions in ways that can dissolve them (often instantaneously), and it also helps to overcome negative thought patterns-- all without repressing how you feel or trying to push things away.

The Now is typically viewed through identifications with the thoughts about it and not out of a direct and felt awareness of the silent part of the self that is inextricably rooted in and is the now, which is consciousness itself.

I went through something similar to what you may be going through. When I was 10 I had a severe anxiety disorder about dying and the fear of death. It lasted for a few years and required a few hospitalizations, medications, and similar- none of which really helped. Thankfully, I now know such things can go away.

[broken]

Hi Josh, I did read the power of now, and should probably revisit it -- I've added it to my reading list. Thanks for the suggestion!