So, here it goes...

I've looked long and hard for any evidence that death is not the end, and that projection isn't just something that is a function of the brain.

I cannot find any such evidence. In both cases, there is no evidence, just testimony. I've searched the threads a few times, but haven't come up with anything other than testimony, or people saying something to the effect of, it may just be an illusion, but who cares.

The constant weight of knowing that it is overwhelming probable that life just ends, has left with with a life stifled by depression. I will likely never marry, have children, nor live that long because most every day, and night, of my life has been marred by this inner rot.

Does anyone else feel this way? I know this message is desparate, and in many ways just not the thing to do, but I just can't bottle it up anymore. Therapy doesn't help, pharmaceuticals dont help, self medicating doesn't help.

When I do dream work and astral attempts, I often just feel more depressed afterwards. Depressed that the brain and life can create such beauty, but that's it, it's just a clever show to distract us from the fact that we die, the experience stops.

I apologize for the depression and desparation, please understand I would normally never write something like this, but I just have to reach out and ask right now.