Help with Persistent Death-related Depression

[Sinera]

On a short practical note, I would recommend that you read some spiritual books about the afterlife or some scientific (!) about NDEs, maybe it helps a little to lift your mood.

E.g. there is good NDE research out there, e.g. by P. v. Lommel, R. Moody, K. Ring, Jeffrey Long, S. Parnia (who does a recent, new study) and many more, which is pretty 'convincing' to me

AP can lead to convincing personal validations too, therefore please find here a personal collection of it, mostly from forums but also from literature, and there's even some laboratory research by scientists in it:

http://da-lai.lima-city.de/OBE/index.html

If you don't like reading books, you can browse through these famous websites a little:

http://www.nderf.org/
http://selfconsciousmind.com/
http://www.near-death.com/
http://iands.org/home.html
(veridical NDEs, examples: http://iands.org/about-ndes/key-nde-facts.html?start=2 )

Good luck.

[broken]

Thanks for your response Akenu,

It is true that the now is the seat of one's experience. The challenge for me has been that my "now" can be completely consumed with the fear of dying. Not fear of the future, nor the past, but just death and dying in general. Sometimes I don't even think of dying myself, and instead think of the countless people dying across the world, and the unimaginable pain and tragedy that engulfs such "now"s.

I have definitely taken your advice, and others, to heart tho. When I experience a wave of depression I remind myself that this "now" really could be spend better. Even though it's seemingly beyond my control, I still repeat that thought during such moments.

[broken]

Hi Ewo,

I've spent a day or so reflecting on your comment and really appreciate your remark. I don't know if my psyche is avoiding life, but depression certainly does interfere with my living. I cannot think of anything I'd be avoiding in the here and now. In all honesty, the only thing I seem to actively avoid are these occasion (yet long recurring) waves of depression.

Thank you for your words of support. It is an incredible feeling to know that in my moment of need, people were there to offer insight and support. Usually, I'm on the other side of things, and this is in some ways a first for me (to reach out for help).

Strangely, having usually been the person who offering support, there was a considerable deal of discomfort and avoidance when I reached out to some of those very people I had helped in the past. I don't blame anyone there, upon reflection it seemed like some people may need the illusion of someone who is unaffected by fear and depression in their lives, and if that "example of strength" is challenged, a bit of avoidance arises.

[broken]

Hi CFTraveler,

That is helpful to hear, thank you. Even if "personal accounts" may not be "proof" enough to quash my rationality, it certainly does give me a nudge to continue my efforts to have such experiences myself, which is incredibly helpful.

Even though part of me despises them, all of these comments are leading me to consider making an affirmation cd. It's one part of RB's MAP program where I had resistance.

Does anyone have any favourite, or suggested, affirmations?

[broken]

Agreed! =)

[broken]

Fantastic! Thank you Sinera. I have started reading the links you sent and will continue to do so over the next few days, weeks, however long it takes to absorb the material. I really do appreciate your sharing the info!

[ButterflyWoman]

I've been thinking about this for a while. It took me a bit to understand what the issue is. Basically, it's existential angst, this sort of, "I'm going to die anyway, why bother doing anything now?" kind of feeling (perhaps that's a bit of a blunt way to describe it; I'm speaking from my own experiences of existential angst, and there have been plenty).

Bottom line is this: You only have RIGHT NOW. You do not have yesterday, or even a moment ago. You do not have tomorrow or later today. You have NOW. This is the whole of existence: NOW. The experience you are having this very moment, that's it. Yes, you will (probably) have other "right now" moments, but you don't know that you will.

So.... do you want to spend your "right now" being content? Even happy? Or do you want to spend it being morose?

I do understand that with depression it's not always as easy as just saying, "Right. I'm not going to be depressed any more," but it most certainly IS possible, and very, very do-able, to say, "For THIS moment, I'm just going to rest in the moment and be okay with right NOW. Later, maybe I'll be upset, or angry, or sick, or overjoyed, or something else, who knows? But for RIGHT NOW, I'm just going to BE, and I'm not going to think about what might or might not happen eventually."

This sounds very simple, and it may seem like you're avoiding responsibility (you really aren't; it seems like a paradox, but it isn't). It does take some practice. But approach it just one moment at a time. Eventually, you get to where you feel pretty much okay most of the time, in most of your moments. It's kind of re-training your focus, I guess you'd say.

All of this is just from my own experience of depression, anxiety, and existential angst of all sorts (only I used to long for death, rather than fearing it). It does work. Decide to be okay, just for now. And then be it. Just for now. You can always go back to being not-okay whenever you want. And, truth be told, you probably will, because it takes some practice to be okay in the moment, especially when you're not used to it. But with enough moments, you'll get the hang of it.

Love to you, and I mean that. I hope you can perceive it.

[josh437781]

It is true that the now is the seat of one's experience. The challenge for me has been that my "now" can be completely consumed with the fear of dying. Not fear of the future, nor the past, but just death and dying in general. Sometimes I don't even think of dying myself, and instead think of the countless people dying across the world, and the unimaginable pain and tragedy that engulfs such "now"s.

I have definitely taken your advice, and others, to heart tho. When I experience a wave of depression I remind myself that this "now" really could be spend better. Even though it's seemingly beyond my control, I still repeat that thought during such moments.

The book "the power of now" is a good book for this. Have you read it? It talks about relating to negative emotions in ways that can dissolve them (often instantaneously), and it also helps to overcome negative thought patterns-- all without repressing how you feel or trying to push things away.

The Now is typically viewed through identifications with the thoughts about it and not out of a direct and felt awareness of the silent part of the self that is inextricably rooted in and is the now, which is consciousness itself.

I went through something similar to what you may be going through. When I was 10 I had a severe anxiety disorder about dying and the fear of death. It lasted for a few years and required a few hospitalizations, medications, and similar- none of which really helped. Thankfully, I now know such things can go away.

[Sinera]

Fantastic! Thank you Sinera. I have started reading the links you sent and will continue to do so over the next few days, weeks, however long it takes to absorb the material. I really do appreciate your sharing the info!

You're welcome. I always like to help when I can try to.

Btw, I noted I've forgotten to put 'good ol' Victor' on the list above. Here he is as an encore. He presents his evidence of the afterlife (and now also has an offical book out) in a very funny and entertaining way, but nevertheless is very serious, rational and logic about the issue (being a lawyer, after all):

http://www.victorzammit.com/
http://www.victorzammit.com/evidence/

Sorry for one more to read but I think it's worth it.

[Eyeswideopen]

Dear Broken,

I have a couple of questions to ask you, how long would you like to live?

If you lived that long, whatever that is, what would you like to achieve in that life?

Is it something you could achieve now?

Another thought was to go do something risky, like go bungee jumping, I know that it would take a lot but it would certainly make you feel alive again and that's what your lacking. We are so blessed to be here on earth and I do get depression and I am not saying its easy. But just think about it. X