Originally Posted by
Seeuzin
Long version:
I've been struggling with this one for a while too.
I've been having a lot of conversations with Source lately. I had read a story in the news about a woman who was raped in an alley in NYC - all passerby ignored her.
Why didn't they react?
"If I were her," I thought, "I would have understood (in retrospect) their desires to save their own skin. But what I would NOT have understood was their inability to look." I remember thinking that, had I been her, it would have meant the world to me had even one person turned their head. Even if they were unable to help - say my attackers were many, and the onlooker was frail - that they had wanted to help would have mattered, and mattered deeply.
Something about witnessing matters.
Primarily I was thinking along these lines because of a recent experience I had. I would yell at God inwardly, an insane monologue: "Goddamnit, Universe, if you EVER let me out of here, I swear...I will become better than you. I won't let good people go through anything like this...anytime I'm capable I will step in. You're evil! Look at how you let those who want to help others get steamrolled; you let their souls rot, and then you kill them. And you don't even look. You turn your back on them."
Become better than God? I knew it didn't make any sense. But if God would provide me with no comfort, then I would become a source of comfort, myself: I would create a caring and strong heart in me. Or die trying.
*************
To the topic.
Something about bad experiences creates a warrior spirit. I can understand where you're coming from in wanting to fight darkness.
One thing I read recently did give me pause. A yogi was teaching in a prison in New Jersey. He spoke of trying to fight darkness: "Which is more effective? If we were in a dark room, suppose I gave you and your fellows sticks, and said, 'Beat the darkness out!' Chances are you would only end up accidentally beating each other. And it would not work. But light one candle, and all is light!"
Since reading that, I've been wondering intensely. The use of force seems essential. Noone would say that "lighting a candle" in that dark alleyway would have helped that woman; she needed someone to intervene, and with force that had teeth. Still, I keep going back to that passage in my mind. Recently, however, I read a chant from the Vedas. I forget exactly how it went, but it was something like this:
"Oh Ishwaar (God)! You feel powerful rage/indignation at crimes and criminals; let us also feel the same anger at crimes and criminals.
Oh Ishwaar! You feel delight when men draw near to you and grow in wisdom/virtue; let us also delight in the wise and virtuous."
There was more; not only feeling anger when evil is committed, but fighting to end injustice. It seemed to break some of the brain-fog that I felt when I had read the yogi's words about the candle. Yes, it is "okay" to fight, I thought.
In conclusion: I admire your will to fight. I wouldn't call what you did "for political purpose," only because in my opinion, "political purpose" implies worldly-minded manipulation. The words I'd use for it would be fighting the darkness, and that is always a good idea. Even if I disagree because I'm a China-phile. :p Your intention is straight-on!! If you were manipulating to try and nudge a political process because, say, you thought Candidate X might allow you to make more money (the kind of manipulation a corporation or entity like that would want,) then I'd disagree with that entirely obviously, but yeah.
For myself, as a US citizen, I trust my government and that of China roughly the same (they're both evil.) I wouldn't personally feel right doing visualization for my country against another, even if I thought it'd be ineffectual. But I think I understand what you mean by the dread you felt. I feel uneasiness with space exploration by our and China's governments alike.
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