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Thread: need a heal over

  1. #1
    lightworker Guest

    need a heal over

    hi guys, i don't know if this is a selfish request but I need help with my fear issues.

    My situation is this, last march 2005 I graduated, took the licensure exams, finished fourth among 178. Eversince I've been able to prove myself,
    my self esteem went on a downward spiral. I can't get a job because I'm afraid of rejection. I can't go out bymyself without crying because of fear of going out in the world.

    I'm stuck.

  2. #2
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    Eversince I've been able to prove myself,
    my self esteem went on a downward spiral. I can't get a job because I'm afraid of rejection. I can't go out bymyself without crying because of fear of going out in the world.
    Can you give us more information? When you say 'ever since I proved myself' what exactly do you mean?
    By being in the top 4?
    https://linktr.ee/CoralieCFTraveler
    Rules:http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/faq.php
    "Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal" Dr. Wayne Dyer.

  3. #3
    Guest

    Re: need a heal over

    Quote Originally Posted by lightworker
    hi guys, i don't know if this is a selfish request but I need help with my fear issues.

    My situation is this, last march 2005 I graduated, took the licensure exams, finished fourth among 178. Eversince I've been able to prove myself,
    my self esteem went on a downward spiral. I can't get a job because I'm afraid of rejection. I can't go out bymyself without crying because of fear of going out in the world.

    I'm stuck.
    Fear is certainly the great soul-killer. It seems to me that 4th among 178 isn't bad.

    I remember when I graduated from college I had no idea what I really wanted to do. So I moved some 300 miles away from home and got a low paying job just to get some time to decide who I am.

    Well, I still can't answer that. But eventually I just decided that it didn't matter all that much.

    I'm doing fine, now. And I'm sure you can manage, though it may take a bit of time.

    So don't worry. Be happy!

  4. #4
    lightworker Guest
    I proved to the people I know I can be one of the best but, after that I'm stuck. Well thanks anyway.

    Moving some 300 miles away from home is just too scary for me.

  5. #5
    sash Guest
    I'm not sure if this is what you want to hear, but it is not a matter of proving yourself in such circumstances. The result of anything should not matter to anyone except you. The aim is to shift your sense of approval and confidence within yourself, so that when you do something well or when you do something not so well you still feel both are ok because you put your entire self into both of them.

    The difficult part about moving into this perception is gathering the understanding that external verification of others such as parents, friends and strangers do not matter.
    It is not a matter of quantifying yourself, but rather a matter of being yourself and living your life according to that found sense of self.

    This is an important step, and afterwards each event should be taken one step at a time without rushing too far ahead or away from where you are now.
    At the present moment describe what is causing you to be afraid or feel a certain way, it is important to understand the exact things causing you fear. If you would like to discuss this more feel free to send me a PM.

    Healing provided from the outside will not do a great deal, unless it is combined with looking inside at what is causing these issues internally. Hence this is a good place to start IMO.

  6. #6
    negishail Guest
    Hi LightWorker,
    What you feel at this moment, is what almost everybody has felt themselves at some moment in time. What becomes important is what you do when you realize the situation you are in. Some people ask for help, some do not and some try to figure out a way for themselves. Its like being thrown into a running river without the ability to swim. First thing anyone would probably do in that situation is to grab something stable and solid. And my suggestion would be something similar to this.

    I would recommend some inner work for you. A way to start this would be to create a list of things which gives you happiness and a list of things which makes you feel sad and irritated. As soon as you have one item on the list , start thinking about it and try to figure why does that item gives happiness or grief. You can build that list as you go on. It is the act of introspection of the items on this list which is important. This practice will give you a better sense of understanding of yourself and would help in building confidence. It will give you an understanding of things you cherish and why and similarly of things you hate and why and then give you a chance of working on the things which does'nt go well with you.

    Other effects of this pratice you might see is, increase in will power, concentration and deep thinking.

    I am in no way an authority in this matter and I am not any more capable than you are or anyone else. I just recommend which I tried myself. Hoping that it helps you in some way.

    This practice in any way does not substitute a doctors advice and I would recommend you taking one.
    Prolonged low self esteem might turn into clinical depression, it is always a good idea to visit a doctor.

    I appologize if I offended someone with this post.

  7. #7
    Join Date
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    A lot of people wrote with advice but I don't feel I have enough information to know what the real problem is.
    Lightworker wrote:
    I proved to the people I know I can be one of the best but, after that I'm stuck.
    Does this mean that by proving to others that you are above average is not enough?
    Do you feel that you are 'one of the best'- do you feel that you have proven it to yourself?
    If not, why?
    What is it that makes you feel that way?
    Please be patient with me and don't give up on this- CF
    https://linktr.ee/CoralieCFTraveler
    Rules:http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/faq.php
    "Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal" Dr. Wayne Dyer.

  8. #8
    lightworker Guest
    to cftraveler, I'm really ashamed saying this to other people but i'l try..
    Yes I think I'm still worthless and my high test scores don't prove anything.

    How do I say this. If I knew my problem,... I wouldn't be asking for help.
    I'm starting to hate this forum I've just started honestly. It just makes me look like I'm clamouring for attention.

    I don't know what to say anymore. thanks anyway.

  9. #9
    sash Guest
    lightworker, I hope I didn't come across with too much assumption in the previous post I made.
    I came to the conclusion earlier that this is a -neg type problem that affects a lot of people. It is quite nasty and I have noticed it attacks most people who are sensitive to spiritual presence.

    Test scores or anything else that comes from the outside will not validate anything for you. This is natural, since you cannot take something from the outside and put it inside yourself -- the thing you seek can only be found within.

    Healing can only do so much, as I mentioned earlier. The best approach that I can see is seeking out a therapist, or a close friend you can confide in. The problems need to be explored in depth from inside to discover the causes.
    It could also help to keep in mind that these types of states are temporary, and often things will end up better than you might expect them to.

  10. #10
    lightworker Guest
    sash, I really appreciate your concern. But I really don't know what to say anymore.

    I hope what you say is true, that this is just temporary and end up better than what I expect.


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