Ok, I read through the entire thread and I think there are somethings that are working for you but you are second guessing them and then get frustrated. I am not sure which or what methods you are trying but I feel that you need to pay more attention to the experience that you are having from an emotional presence stand point.

I mean letting yourself feel the experience as you are having it. From what I get you are intellectually thinking about the process as you go through it, which in the very beginning is a common thing for people to do, especially more left brained oriented people.

Stop labeling things and using some ruler to gadge what you think the experience should be like or where you think you should be at. There is NO person that ever reaches whatever self imposed level regularly or consistently, I am telling you it is ok to let go of this way of measuring whatever progress you think should be attained or be possible before you even experience whatever it is you think should happen.

You have from what I can determine a focus issue more than anything when it comes to getting into trance, meditative state or state of mind... whatever label you want to put on it.

I have no idea what understanding you have or personal realizations you have had in your life to date when it comes to this stuff.
All I can suggest is that you focus your attention on experiencing whatever you experience entirely and not trouble yourself with intellectual thought, just let the thoughts happen but don't concern yourself with their content. Eventually overtime you will become a more peaceful person as you do this more and you will be able to more easily get into the desired state of mind.

During this process you will experience good and bad, have visions that inspire you and make you feel wonderful and also have visions that may scare the hell out of you. The key is to not get too wrapped up in meaning of whatever gets thrown at you, sometimes it is just lunch being digested or personal traumas coming back up to be released.

It can be difficult at times but just make sure whenever you are exploring your abilities and going off on adventures that you focus your intention on the greatest good and highest vibration and light. You will experience whatever you focus your intention on whether that be dark and black or white and etheral.

Whatever experience you have always run it through your gut instinct because sometimes the information you get is not always in your best interest and feelings of depression or wanting to hurt yourself or others may not actually be your own thoughts or feelings but influences from outside yourself. Anytime you feel or begin thinking dramatically different stop and analyze why you maybe feeling this way BEFORE you take any actions.

Protect yourself with white light or whatever process that works for you, make sure you feel safe and protected before attempting to communicate with other beings. Some will just mess with you just because you allow it or because they don't really care about you at all. Intention has a huge impact here on what is allowed into your presence, make that intention known before you start and take precautions as needed.