-my incenses.
-coffee
-delicious food
-sleep
-feeling relief today and normal. so grateful.
-having a bank account now
-vitamins
-seeing how each little thing i've integrated seems to make a small weight loss difference
-sweaters,socks,and comfortable cozy clothing
-feeling more fearless now and ready to immerse in just being more fearless now
-having plans this weekend. everyone else goes and hangs out with people they only even having so-so interest in and im always so picky but i told this person as friends and they keep lingering on which makes me feel i should just go once. he can't be any worse from this D this fall can he? i think it'll be beneficial
-best friend applying to higher end places and actually taking positive actions
-getting living room cleaned
-reality checks. they don't have to hurt,just bring you down to earth. it's one thing to have a subtle inkling,a whole different thing to let it invade your mind and take over you. besides,from an loa perspective what manifests more likely? the subtle inkling which is actually the dominant thought or the whole mind being taken over which is just fear? it's the subtle. the subtle is where we get our power. it's where we have that feeling but allow that smidge of mystery,and doubt and uncertainty which keeps us in non-expectation which is keeping us in the flow of playing out the stories of our lives. i guess it's because we let the subconscious peek out,but when we let the whole mind being invaded that's actually our conscious mind and our subconscious in fear state. subtly command the subconscious. the conscious is useless with telling yourself things. it's no wonder lately when i'd do the affirmations i had about various things it felt like it was going nowhere.i don't think i was believing it.i will start loving the heck out of my subconscious more and commanding it. i think my subconscious has been out of control and could use some tlc(tender love and care)
-physical exercise
-how my phone looks now from all the pic and name changes. it's about the little things. it boosts my mood. one tip i'd give anyone is find the little things that make you feel even just a little better,and do them! when i was younger and suffered from depression,i'd think the little things things were meaningless but now at this point in my life,i know every little things that boosts your happiness,is HEALING. So,yes,if going for a short walk or sitting on the porch or watching a funny movie will make you feel even just a little better,just do it! it never fails me that 99% of the time if i'm feeling down,there's several things i've not been doing that have caused me to feel down such as maybe skimping on exercise or having not gone out in awhile or maybe slacking on meditating so always take a look and ask yourself what have you not been doing lately?
-talking with business partner more about our new career venture we are planting the seeds for
-focusing on productive things again today
-just feeling more faithful,and trusting again. it may not even be super 100% but it's a lot more then it was.
-forehead pulsations. since that's always my sign my third eye chakra is activating and i love it and how it feels
-great moisturizers
-music
-how beautiful my hair is
-body soreness since it tells me my body is being worked out
-how profound even a 30 second meditation can be.i stopped while writing the part about the subconscious part on this list for about 30 seconds and just allowed my mind to be quiet and felt so calm after and powerful and then have been feeling the forehead pulsations.
-being able to tune into myself and ask myself what i'm feeling and why. such as one thing for me is my fear that i'm getting older now and want to change my reality so i don't feel this feeling im having but i'm also having guilt which is blocking me a little bit,like i've had so many amazing things so who am i try and want to feel young and happy as long as i can? i feel the urge to get more life things together,and also have more fun and be young,wild,and free,but then there's fear like i'm not allowed to want to have more wild and free moments and to look and feel young,but that i need to only focus on getting the "practical" things together,and should be grateful i even have as much as i do now like an apartment,etc,etc. so,it's really silly the true me wants to keep reaching for more while appreciating what i do have,and just feel those feelings i desire with no guilt. i guess lately,there is slight sadness i'm not 18 anymore. of course,there is regrets. i could have done so much differently. but,that's what the next life is for. my deepest guilts are triggered by last year's sadness...that had i not gotten sucked into pains from when i was still in high school,i could have made different decisions and that life last year,and now and all the years in between could've been better. on the outside looking in,it looks like i've done so much,and am an amazing,kind person. but,the inner me is someone who turned down many things and didn't reach higher because of their own pains and who was a late bloomer. that's why i've envied certain friends i had met a few years ago. they seemed to have a fresh beautiful start and made fearless steps and seemed in my eyes to be doing it all right. the inner me,is someone who tried to make the best decisions for all involved but feels regret that it just wasn't better. it could've been so much better,and that makes me so sad. and it makes me feel unworthy. that's why a part of me is still the girl in high school who wants those feelings and admires that crush A because he gives her that feeling of him being the popular boy she was too shy to talk to when she actually was in high school. it's like i'm reaching for these opportunities to give me these certain feelings and trying to overcome inconsistencies in my head like the desires conflicting with the guilt. i'm a human being,and i make mistakes and can be selfish.i need to forgive myself. these memories from years ago,are petty and silly to anyone else if they knew,but to me are like trauma in my cells because i have trouble still moving on from them and they affect other areas of my life. who am i to try to fulfill this desire to the fullest my soul calls for it? who am i to have so many goals? all because of petty mistakes i didn't even mean when i was technically still a child...this month has been has been intense,geez
-relaxation,releasing resistances,clearing energy blockages
-hope