-nourishment
-that this day is over
-nightskies
-J texting me more then usual for a sunday, keeping an eye on me
-J calling me more then usual yesterday even calling me if i didnt call him back within 5 or 10 minutes,keeping an eye on me
-putting pieces together on the way back from work today realizing last night J said after he wanted to think about things and had his phone call,is when he came by and softened and came to his senses. Said he considered having sex with me. Tried holding my hand once. Said he was wrong for what he did on friday and shouldn't have done it and that he should have confided in me,and that he realizes he needs to fix things with me to and to be patient and strong and that he still loves me and still wants me and even using the key he gave me to show me something when he walked me to my door, and saying we will get back to how we were, it will just take time and him saying and showing he isn't letting me go. Also, he revealed that she had yelled at him the whole time during their phone call, and definitely won't be having sex with him anytime soon,and that it seems today they didn't do their usual sunday family thing so it sounds like they aren't working things out as he said she said they would on friday, or at least not as well as he had hoped. He was also looking at me in a much more serious way last night,like he seen me in a more serious light, someone he could be with in a way that's more then what we are now. And,that just maybe they won't end up working things out,and he will decide to be with me. I'm not wishing for it,and am keeping my thoughts as neutral as possible but i would kind of want that. And, it does make sense. We've been together growing closer for 3 months now. Met in a very serendiptious way. And,even when he betrayed me friday, he was flip-flopping,and same with Sat in the day time until by Sat night, he was sounding a complete 180 and back to his senses-he does want me still and we will still be together, that it just will take time. He even said at the end of the night he was planning to take me to meet his mother but that i was acting too irrational so he changed his mind. Who does that a day after ending things with someone and confessing to their other person about them? We also were going to have a platonic shortened version of our original plans yet he said during dinner he considered having sex with me,and our plans weren't shortened by that much. He actually went home quite late considering what he is going through and even asked him what is he going to tell her since there is no way he would still be at work,and it was way past that. He is NOT done with me, he is clearly very confused.
-my feral cats
-that tommorow is a new day,and a day where J works and we can talk all day again and things can possibly go back to normal or at least more clarity.
-working today
-pictures
-faith
-entertainment
-the internet
-finding my ibuprofen
-M's friend D taking me out for a little while to go for a drive and get out of the house
-realizing how i can improve when J and I get back together again and what i need to improve
-diet dr.pepper
-nice people
-my fashion sense
-sportsbras
-all the referrals and new job offers i picked up when i did all the following up after getting fired from the one agency
-That J cares about me and all the ways he has shown it
-compliments
-getting a little motivation going
-prayer
-my beauty and the beautiful pictures i have taken over the years
-all the new restaurants i tried with J
-having incredible curves
-my intelligence
-ice
-J's intelligence
-my kindness
-J's kindness
-games, such as little ones J and I play such as the eye game or having take the 5 love languages quiz
-talking
-my new leopard print striped sneakers
-all the high end fashion items i own
-hypnosis recordings
-magical things
-being able to pick up H cat today and W cat. Ever since I moved H cat treats me like he's mad at me and W cat has been mad at me ever since trying to bring him in the house repeatedly for a few minutes in the winter. That was the big no-no betrayal for that cat.
-wind
-bike riding
-how beautiful my hair is
-art
-cuteness
-relaxation
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