GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-doing my panic subliminals
-that i'm trying to stay in a good mood and be strong and positive
-seeming to get through to best friend some more with my conviction
-that i tried contacting l one more time saying we should talk and now i know i've done all i can. i'm grateful i'm someone who tries to figure out what the problem is and be communicative so i don't look back wondering if could've done more. he replied saying about what and then i said about how weird things got and he never responsed. each text we sent the other was spaced out by hours.i can't help but take a hint and let go after tonight if he doesn't respond and try to talk it out. he will have lost me for good. he liked me and wanted me for so long and was so close to having me.
-soda pop
-doing really good with my driving lesson today. doing a lot more then i thought i would and feeling like i definitely mastered parking lots today. i turned,reversed,drove by others,etc. it felt good to do that and know i'm achieving my goals
-getting out of the house today
-cat seeming happier today
-finding an interesting movie i might want to watch sometime
-deciding to post a work pic on social media
-that i'm not going to give up,even i am having troubles still with certain things.
-that i'm still really,really,really inspired and that the journey of turning each pain into a blissful reward has become my mission and passion
-my beauty
-deciding to start loving myself more,also since that ALWAYS raises my vibe and attracts good things
-law of attraction forums which really help me to get my vibe up
-being able to see the underneath beliefs causing so and so things
-adding up the money best friend must be making and seeing things should be ok
-finding a deal on a dance class i want
-knowing that all the stuff i say i believe is real,even if there's still some subconscious conflict i'm cleaning up and things in my external reality to match up
-doing a speaking affirmation session which boosted my mood. that alone should show it's doing something
-yoga
-that i AM changing my reality for the better
-a cafe i really want to stop by and try soon close by
--laying down
-the power i have,by doing what i do for a living with my first career
-infusing meaning into why i have some of my goals that may seem superficial and how important that meaning can be sometimes,because it gives a why,and a connection which can strengthen the will
-sort of reflecting on connection,and what it means to me so i can infuse it into my life and make my life better.i think this is very solar plexus related. for so long until recently,i hadn't bothered to CONNECT with my desires. i just wanted them which kept it weak. i didn't connect with opportunities. i just felt more of a disconnect.i'd then find the things that meant something to me in the past started to lose their connection and seem more dull and i realized that connection is so important. to connect with what you want,and to feel connected. otherwise,it feels pointless which puts a sort of block on manifestation. i used to feel so connected to life and God by the beauty of manifesting someone from my past,or someone new,and so on.i even for sometime created it that i always manifested back exes for example and it was easy to, then finding it hard to pull anything towards me. i'd take for granted the past excitement.i used to just feel so connected to life and excited and didn't care if others judged something as how miraculous it was to manifest someone back. it had meaning to me. it made me feel more unconditional love for all things,until little by little i lost the connection to opportunities and life,and my desires and started to judge with apathy getting excited and KNOWING someone is around the corner.i even wrote on a forum i feel silly doing inner work because i don't want to seem obsessive about someone. but,i can do inner work without getting obsessive. i need that excitement and connection again. that's one big thing i'm infusing a lot more of into everything in my life. that's what my life has missed. excitement is like something magic.im even going to start inducing it on a regular basis until i start feeling it more on my own.i used to have more excitement for life and my desires and connected with them and also a stronger will and even a bit of sexual energy which i think is very spiritual. now,it's been almost 3 years since i had sex with someone new. that is not a coincidence. that's a connection. there's been some sort of important loa/power/youth life force thing missing from me. my favorite things to intend i had stopped intending like guys and beauty because i thought it was superficial even though it made me happiest and brought me vibe high and made other areas of life really good,too.i see where my blockages are and have come from though and am cleaning and recreating a new me going back to early parts of my spiritual awakening while mixing in new,more evolved parts of course. back then,i had innocence. this is also key. i am getting there,though.i am getting better. i've cleaned up quite a bit of jaded/blocking things in the last year and and am about to hit it a whole new level. even my career comeback i am doing also can tie in with that. this year is going to be sweet and super fun.
-this forum
-how great my ig looks
-my style
-high vibe dance music to get in shape to and induce feelings of excitement