-everything almost being out of the apartment
-feeling more accepting and ready for the new apartment
-going with the flow and tuning into my body wanting to be more lazy and feeling nurturing and mushy type feelings because it's almost time for time of the month anyday now
-going on my porch at 5 am last night because i realized not once did i watch the sunrise on that porch.i didn't watch the sunrise that time either,but i enjoyed the cerulean colors of the sky and being out there at that time of day having never done it and left before sun did actually come up.
-in being way too hot to do anything last night,i ended up reflecting and feeling an insane wave of nostalgia for the early days of my primary career and having epiphanies about that's where my joy is but also knowing industry has changed so much since then. part of it makes me feel old as in that was a time,a time of innocence and youth. sometimes i feel like J .who was the root of some of the blocks i've been clearing since ,was the last time i felt truly young and like a ----- that was 2012. and that's been the bulk of what came to me to heal. and,so maybe it's perfect timing,all of this. i look at the other girls doing what i've done,and guys,and the path changed so much for us all. some don't do it anymore,some experienced a lot of success and now live elsewhere,some are living where i do,but the one thing in common is we all look just a little bit older,and like we grew up. admittedly,that's the part that makes me sad.i miss the rush of doing those jobs,and feeling glamorous. that's my happy place,even if it can't be exactly the way it was.i've said before i'll focus more on this,but then didn't really in the past,so what's different now? i think i knew there was blocks before with that. and i have a desire to break through those blocks and explore now. it's crazy this happens on a full moon,too. because i had this wave of E stuff on an full moon and had wondered if it made it truth or delusion but now that this comes up,i feel it's truth. full moons always sooth me and seem to tell me things like good things and that it'll be ok,but then some things don't come true so it's made me wonder. i can't help but feel to trust the wisdom that comes to me during the full moon even if it lets me down because it always feels so right
-signs
-vegan pizzas and all the yummy vegan foods i get to eat
-removing myself from several vegan meetup groups in the last few days
-ideas about what i'm capable of and possible later future desires. the full moon is powerful!
-nighttime
-night skies
-the moon
-my book i've been getting more and more into
-feeling comfortable and calm and how relaxed i felt all day,and not at all in a rush
-espresso coffee!
-dandelion tea
-rituals
-the weather seeming not as hot today. was alot more comfortable today!
-the quiet
-getting some work done
-laying down
-my teeth and how healthy they are
-being able to look in the mirror today and think i look really beautiful,and loving my features,my ears,and my teeth,and my eyes,hair,skin and all.i look beautiful. i am feeling so much more beautiful lately.
-seeing how great cover of new project looked
-waking up to seeing the cat sleeping with me and how cute that was.
-calling bank back today
-how great of a feeling i have about things and that once i'm moved in,and in august and september,things are going to get really good.
-flip flops
-time seeming to be on my side today
-patience
-inspiration
-creativity
-positive change
-feeling like all is well in the moment,and going as it should which is so crazy considering..everything!
-all the dejavu lately,particularly in the new place. it's very weird. why do i get that in some places,but not others..the place i'm in now,i didnt have much.
-how in letting go in my heart of certain things such as L,A the ex ,A the ex crush,and E,and all the other things i've let go of that i focused my energy on,i finally can see my future a little,and clarity,and what i want,and change.it makes so much sense but we forget it..life can't give us new and what we desire if we keep holding onto things and trying to manage them in our minds to go the way we think we want,because our minds will try to do that via what is familiar and it's in the unexpected,something brilliant happens,and change occurs which is why letting go is so very powerful. also so grateful for joseph dispenza for explaining letting go in a new way that is easier to apply vs my old understanding of it
-feeling determined to "create" magic in my life. and by create i mean allow. i feel such a feeling of aliveness right now and see that the key to magic and feeling young and invincible is to just let go and let yourself see something new. even if at first you can't,focus a little more,and you'll step forward. magic can't come,or is limited when you hold on and think/expect things to go this one certain way. it is truly in the letting go that creates the magic! it is truly in the letting go that virtually all miracles have manifested in my life,and feelings of aliveness and invincibility..and all that is,is surrendering to new,and things going the way you think they should go.i claim to love the magic and miracles so much,and yet have blocked it so much this year. and this year feels like it sped by and was a blur,and like i was just in a jar most of this time
-trusting so much in divine timing
-feeling last night like something is culminating.