Nightmares and panics are lessening,at least in intensity and physically am starting to feel better but still crazy stressed. V is out of the picture now. He is the uber driver with a sky-diving company who asked for my phone number who i had found attractive before he did and he seemed nice,and polite but then after didn't think i was interested. He also seemed clingy possibly,and i kinda blew him off. Then,decided to start to be open to him and consider maybe going out with him once just to see what happens and he just started to seem like a jerk then. And,so now before that even happening w have parted ways. In the week of texting since he me deciding to be open,things just weren't flowing and he didn't seem as nice,and seemed like he might be the jealous,machismo type and reminded me of traits an abusive ex. I don't think he would be like that,and it's probably that they are both similar culture that is bringing me that reminsence but still. Regardless,i am frustrated that another is not working out. I am trying to go with the flow,enjoy the process but i just wanted to go on a stupid date this time and it didnt even make it that far. Things flow with Maryland guy,and i feel like he is perfect for me and that if he was here,we would be together. things with us stay very casual. which is probably for the best.i want to enjoy that slowness and maybe it's all in my head that he would be perfect for me and the one. regardless,he sends me pics of animals and vegan things when he finds out im an animal lover,and V makes jokes about hunting Bambi in the middle of the night...
-ice cold water
-meeting a friend for lunch
-being social
-my boss saying she thinks i'm ready for team lead positions today
-working with someone very funny today who kept me laughing the whole shift. he also played hero to some girl who was getting harassed by a drunk guy who had harassed us at first which was cute to watch. i feel like you don't see that much these days.
-seeing my T cat a few minutes ago. hadn't seen him all day
-my outdoor cats
-my style
-great uber deals all day
-laughing at life at all the weird things that happened today.
-makeup
-naps
-sleep
-nightskies
-my intelligence
-getting my haircut yesterday
-inspiration
-openness
-prayer
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