-listening to crystal singing bowl audios instead of heartbreak sad songs
-getting dishes done even though i feel like crying
-best friend's dad coming over to fix the lightbulb
-the cat and how sweet he is
-my book and how amazing it is
-being an interesting person
-that at least now that i am letting go of L,being able to appreciate him as a more interesting,cool person then i even knew and how much he inspired me.i am really,really,sad. i wanted him to be my hero and he really liked meand it's just so crazy to me that right when i decide i like him,too he gets mad and lets me go.
-see the errors i made this week with l. posting on forum for advice for example.
-how sexy l's voice is
-l's height
-that l inspired me to clear a limiting belief that was major the other day
-that it finally hit me tonight to start bike riding,as inspired by l and appreciating the romance and cuteness that he biked to see me late at night on a winter evening when he's not really close to me.
-that i met my goal of having a guy i like romantically in my apartment for the first time
-that i've now tested out what happens if i tell a guy a little bit about my ex and anxiety issues situation and seen it can be ok
-the barriers l inspired me to break
-my conviction
-deciding to let go of the blame towards l and the blame towards myself
-being inspired to do all sorts of amazing things from this pain
-that A liked my pic the other day. still so amazed by that. feels surreal.
-how meditative and mind clearing it is to do the dishes and the feeling of accomplishment it gives me
-my slippers
-doing my lunges today
-how beautiful my eyes are
-letting myself cry
-doing my panic subliminals
-getting a driving lesson today
-while doing dishes and sad,my will feeling strengthened and seeing that as another key to manifestation. it came to me that will=belief and i think over the years i learned from loa teachers and forums that will is bad and surrender is better which i now disagree with and feel blocked me,too. both are useful and should dance with each other
-that L has inspired me to live more. his quote on tumblr i lurked was so poignant and fitting for him asking what do you say no to or something like that,basically about say yes to more to things.
-that at least the guys who break my heart are high end guys
-having new clarity and direction in my life
-focusing on the progress despite all the pain
-pillows
-blankets
-feeling very creative and resourceful to getting what i want
-having another job confirmed for end of month im excited for
-excellent high vibraton concepts about reality not being static and how i've observed everything into my reality hitting me very easily lately
-clearing and calming fears about emotional drama situation from past weeks
-i just found emojis on my phone. literally this second. something i wanted and was confused why my phone didn't have. very cool!
-project completed today looking great and getting a lot of likes
-realizing there's definitely something going on with the l situation.i feel binded to him. it must be because he's the first new guy ive been sexual with in almost 3 years. going to try a detach experiment to see what happens since it seems there could be an energy play going on,too since i feel like i've been feeling a burst of all he felt for me over the months