-feeling great today
-coffee
-jelly donut
-a publicist for my first career. 2015 is going to be bring me a huge amount of success now
-feeling pretty and wanted today. how great my hair looks. how skinny i look but curvy and my backside looks round and attractive. my hair looking nice today. my face looking nice today. my body changing and developing into new sexier shape
-soft,upbeat music
-agreeing to go on a date with B.he seems kind of insistent too. don't know why i keep attracting insistent guys lately.
-how attractive B is and that randomly I attracted the hottest guy at the party to stare at me and then i made out with him and now were here
-fun instagram pictures i posted and pic likes
-business partner getting email and website set up for our 2nd venture together
-water
-mason jars
-yoga pants
-waking up earlier lately
-that last night just when my mind was starting to accept I might not hear from D and was feeling okay with B as what's next,D then responds to my text last night.i had texted him at 5 pm asking if i could add him back to my facebook and he responded after 11pm and said i could do what i want. he seemed distant and angry but it gave me enough of an opening to explain myself with the things i wanted to say.i then sent him a friend request. at after 1 am,he then texted he a very dirty,erotic text message.i sensed he wanted to "punish" me,so i played along and he was trying to get me to say yes to him repeatedly and tell him what i'm wearing and to tell him things,too.i thought at first this was his way of saying we are ok now,at first since it was so quick . but,his texts were more,almost on the degrading side,but not and he seemed more distant and not lovey at all and telling me i'm so hot for him,and just saying things about rough sex. Then he said he was going to bed. A few minutes later I felt a strong rush of sexual energy and knew he was not yet asleep and was touching himself to me. It was so intense the rush I got,that I think I even got a visual of what he was visualizing too such as outfit details he was imagining me in.Didn't hear from him at all today,and he didn't approve my friend request. Don't know what's going on with him or why he decided to be creepy last night,i figured because he felt i owed him that and he thinks i don't like talking sexual and it makes me uncomfortable or also he wanted to boost his ego after all i did to him or who knows what but he basically forced me to sext him and even told me i should be putting my hands under my clothes and rubbing my body all over. pretty sure he wants to exploit me since he thinks i'm a good girl and that seems to be a major turn on for him and he's said a lot of things implying how he is going to teach me to do everything and give me directions in the past.
-my green moroccan mint tea. it's so good and a nice,exotic change.
-going tanning today. what a nice mood boost! feeling amazing. went up a minute in time.
-feeling more detached from things and feeling relaxed and more abundant
-understanding things a little from reflection. i realized I think i understood D now,with things he said. he wanted to f--- me first,then he said i could kiss other guys,and he'll kiss other girls,and based on other things he said,i think he was wanting to have sex with me to get me to commit to him,and then that would go out the window. i also pulled a tarot card about what D is most upset about that i've done and i think it implied the kiss with B. D acted so relationship-y with me and I think he thought once he could just get me to have sex with him like we had planned this week,then i'd fall for him,and he could get me to commit to him.i didn't understand what he meant about that text back then,was he saying he wants to have sex with me before other guys could but now,i realize he meant let's just have sex first because then he thought he'd curb me saying things like that. I kinda felt bad because before we could meet to have sex,we had the crazy fights and i ended up going to the party and kissing a guy after he told me not to because i thought he implied we both could kiss others but it was misunderstood message,he clearly meant after me and him had sex. all this time,i thought D didn't get jealous but sometimes i think quite the other way around,he just manipulates somehow to seem aloof. i also get ALOT of tarot indicating he is repressing/blocking his emotions so i wouldn't be surprised if the true him is clingy,very insecure,jealous,and in love with me
-getting things set up
-getting dishes done last night
-the movement in life in the last two months. it's nice to feel moved forward
-healing your past meditations and quantum leaping. it's so energy clearing and an amazing way to mood boost and improve all areas of life as well as manifest some random desires from energy being cleared.
-the sun
-my smarts
-being unique
-my sophistication
-lovely memories