-that i found my lavender oil. that oil is like magic. for some reason,i get so drawn to it,and find it so potent and stress relieving. who knew i'd end up so obsessed with lavender? it's become one of my favorite herbs.
-that for the first time,in a little while,i feel normal today.
-that its sunny out and the weather is nice today
-water
-coffee
-doing a really nice,simple,full 20 minute meditation on the porch and how effective it was
-that it looks like my friend K is going to come to the party with me coming up and has been emailing me regularly since i invited her
-all the blockages i released in the last few days thanks to the help of the incense i was using and am still using;going to clear up one last new blockage i picked up right before merc retrograde started with a meditation
-that i know my mental processes arent as acute because of mercury retrograde which explains why the bizarre fear started happening right when mercury retrograde happened.i know based on timing and when it first popped in my head,that it was just anxiety and ocd thought since it also came when i was in a fearful place and already thinking fearful thoughts,but it's still been in my head just slightly even though i've been working on clearing it. it's literally the last thing to clear on a certain issue,and it makes me happy it's mercury retrograde since it explains why also i had gotten so antsy and having the thought. in the first place. I know from experience mercury retrograde just makes mental processes weird like a blur and strange things happen. i'm grateful that i can look forward to june when it'll be over,and i can trust thought processes more,and life will feel even more normal and moved forward and i can 'see' the proof that all is well. and,all this proves even more,i didn't actually want e to be available for the one thing,i just wanted to do it,to contact him so that block could be removed. the universe is amazing.i am sincerely grateful he is out of town for reunion because i know that was the divine plan,that he wasn't meant to be available,but just meant to hear from me,and anxious on his own and that our divine plan is a little later from then to see each other again. it just FEELS so right.
-peanut butter cookies
-cleaning up a lot last night,dishes,kitchen,frontroom organizing,bathroom.i felt compelled to clean a lot of the aparrtment last night as if it would make my feel better and it is so weird because it really did. it made my headache go away,and really lifted my mood and made me think much more clearly like a fog had been lifted. that was literally the last thing i did before i felt normal again.
-that i can change my reality at any moment
-that i can manifest anything and all the insane reality bending miracles i've manifested before that i'm reminded myself of to boost my mood and remind myself of my power
-finding hypnosis audios on music site i like that i can listen to which is exciting,i listened to one last night. quieting my mind is one of the biggest things for me.
-some really great loa vlogger channel from a blog i already liked that i watched before bed. she said some things that really made me intrigued and feel happy.i didn't agree with everything,of course. i'd still like to find more loa teachers who integrate subjective reality,since i don't find many who seem to believe in that,and i've had it affirmed for me too many times as a very basic aspect of truth. loa becomes much easier when you embrace that aspect. and,when i first discovered loa,subjective reality was something i took to naturally without outside info as it made sense.
-how great my third eye chakra feels. it feels open,clear,and getting pulsations which is really nice.
-getting a job offer on linkedin
-that life feels just a bit more blossoming today
-sleep,and that i slept well and fell asleep nice and easily last night
-seeing little processes and ways of thinking that builds to change the perceptions easily and naturally with thoughts and how effective it is changing them little by little.
-focusing on the subconscious more today
-great work ideas coming to me
-things that seem interesting to try
-feeling powerful today
-roommate eating lunch at apartment today
-that something amazing is going to happen either today or tomorrow
-that i get to blog in a little over a week again. i've been craving it for a week or two now.i miss having that outlet
-how normal life is getting,and how wonderful that is.
-how amazing the next month is going to be. i can feel it.
-how when you dedicate yourself to the work of feeling better,and happiness,it will pay off.
-throwing out the tarot deck the other day. that right there,was me taking back my life.
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