-the sertraline i've been taking.i am not sure if it's the meditation,the pills,or best friend is still sending me reiki(had a weird feeling he still was) or a combination but have found my mind is much quieter throughout the day,it's almost as if i'm stoned.
-doing the cycling class and yoga today. found it too slow for my style,and yoga made me sad thinking about things,but by the end i felt good,i needed it,and some of the poses reminded me of playtime such as what children would do.
-best friend's mom saying i am good at yoga,and very flexible and saying i have the structure for yoga,and would be a good teacher. that was awesome. she is an instructor and that's what i've been wanting to do,so that's a very good thing that she thinks i'd be good at it.
-getting into lotus pose surprising myself since i was confused by it at first,and being the only one who could
-finding best friend's stuff still here today when i got home
-water
-allowing myself to imagine what if best friend is planning on coming even while i'm here,and how would i respond and imagining myself just staring at him taking in the sight of him sadly then asking him can i have one last hug then trying to kiss him,and telling him i've waited for him for years and how could he do this. i miss him like crazy. one good thing though is finally earlier today i realized,i have focused clarity that I really want to manifest some kind of polite communication from him such as text to check up on me. this would mean so much to me and raise my spirits up incredibly with this whole ordeal.
-email from S.
-food
-sleep
-happy things i have connected to in life. for some strange reason,I feel a sense of connection more then i have in awhile to things i desire,and have desired.i just feel that strong sense of "ah,that made me happy,i enjoyed that/that makes me happy/i enjoy that" whether it's my brother's cat,or the neighborhood i am now leaving,to yoga,to the beauty of the generosity best friend had showed me in the past,i am just really recognizing gratitude and feeling of that which i connect to,and have connected to
-imagining things i desire on and off throughout the day to retrain my imagination
-doing some more work on article last night. about 45% done,i'd say
-doing a little driving today. rush hour scares the heck out of me,and i drove crossing the busy street during. my nerves were shot after that,but at least i did it.
-business partner sending and responding to some things today
-makeup
-heat
-cozy feelings
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