-feeling totally positive vibes right now and like it's all going to be fine. lucky december.
-deciding last night and this morning what i'll say to D for sure and when about how were incompatible and that multidating is an excuse to be player and you can't have that great of interest,etc,etc. i wrote a bunch of notes on it. lol.im just waiting for him to invite me out and then ill say it in response.i actually googled and hearing stranger's opinions online about multidating affirmed even more for me that it very much is an insult to my soul.i feel fooled and like D is a fake acting so relationship like to me all this time then to tell me that on our date and like i wasted my time. since i take this as an insult as well,i've been inspired to become better in many ways so he'll see what he lost out on lookswise,success,etc. just knowing all this time all the declaring how he feels about me and compliments and vile texts and personal things he's shared and pics through his day knowing he's could've very well done that to others is very very fake to me. i mean,the day he had went on that date he told me about was same day he told me he likes me and is being as clear to me as he can and sent me a pic of himself on the way there,and told me kiss kiss and that he wants to kiss me someday,etc,etc to find out that's the same day night he was on that date he was like that to me shows his character
-despite being sick getting a lot done today and yesterday and starting to do lists today. i feel that is another key to me being better so i wrote out all the actions and things in my control i can do that will make me happier or better right now this month.
-getting work done today
-p.r asking me to do a favor and feeling inspired from it and also after doing work realizing how excited i am to do this and what a big person this is to interview and that i'm ready to do events like this again and that i'm so ready to be back at it
-obsessing over a pic that was old and deciding to just go ahead and delete it since i couldn't move on of feeling insecure about it and that i can always reupload in a random pics album later on or post it instagram my new way to curate moments from life and also being inspired from this realizing i want more pics with people and more pics in general in my life to be taken and that i'm going to do that now
-vacuuming and cleaning my apartment and feeling better from that and the more cleaning i will do later tonight
-contacting my crush A. been wanting to ask him something for awhile and with wanting to move from here sometime soon and feeling insulted and inspired by D i just did it. and he responded quickly and very responsively. he's sick,too. A makes me feel good.i took the action as an inspired action and felt casual and fearless as i did it. my plan is to build up chatting with him and then ask him.i want to see him as just a person not someone who makes me nervous. I always felt is D even good enough for me and i notice i always end up resenting guys i feel better then and today business partner also said D isn't good enough for me.i rather gravitate towards people who are high vibration. someone like A,even if he doesn't have romantic interest in me,is someone i just want to in his realm that's how much i adore him.
-echinacea tea
-hot soup which helped me sinuses
-clean towels
-feeling like dancing today
-being pretty
-upbeat dance music
-the opportunities life gives me
-that i'm always the kind of person who uses my pain as fuel
-opening myself up a little to what life can offer me
-business partner texting me a lot today before i even woke up. i had slept in extra late from being sick.made me feel kinda nice to be wanted and that she had all these ideas.
-making apple pie that i can use for breakfast for the next days
-trying to be a little more normal today
-beauty transformation ideas
-how productive i can be when i focus and am in the get things done mood. i get so much done and so quick.and realizing i can get so much more done and that i just don't manage my time well and really do slack off a lot.
-moisturizers for lips. they get so dry when not feeling well.
-how great work project looks and how high end and legit we look