-a nice vegan dinner of chili and potatoes with crackers.
-water
-mason jars
-seeing i can be alone at night now even at the later hours and probably overnight and be fine after best friend's stunts and starting to see the enjoyment of it again
-inspiring loa videos and passages online that i came across tonight
-inspiring thing online made me see if there's something in your life undesirable even if it doesn't seem directly connected,perse,what could it tell me about a limiting belief i have that is creating this reality of mine
-remembering a lot lately that the world is a mirror
-more info online backing subjective reality which made me feel so good
-my phone
-after best friend doing what he did,that he agreed to take me to a cafe i wanted to check out in my neighborhood and get some macarons
-getting groceries today
-getting my hair color fixed finally and how good it made me feel
-getting baileys which is a nice wintery-christmasy drink and having a little bit with my macarons in my room. some christmas cheer of my own!
-my phone charger
-positive,high vibe forums and websites/info i come across that always gets me back on track
-my mom being there for me again.i really wanted to give her a day off but at least today i compromised and challenged myself too since it seems i have too based on how people are being
-getting some sleep
-ear feeling better now
-having a good heart
-L finally texting me back after i posted i was at cafe which seems like he did it out of jealousy and then he ignored me again after asking questions so i don't know what is going on with him but he is ignoring me now and said i blew him off today.
-my innocence
-best friend asking where his stuffed animal fish i got him years ago was as the very first thing he said when he got in the house. it was literally the very first thing. that showed something. i had put it away last night so dog couldn't reach it and ruin it as that would've broke my heart since it's one of the few momentos i think he even still has of me and that's the first thing he notices when he walks in the house and asks about.
-being smart
-schedule starting to get lighter and more manageable now and seeing when i can fit in my medical appointment i want to do.
-knowing i'm stronger then ithink.i may come off whiny,and feminine and dainty,etc and have been through a lot but i always win and have overcome so much
-weather outside being warmer today
-watching some old episodes with my mom of my favorite childhood tv show that she liked too last night and learning TV does help distract me when i have to be alone
-having a laundry machines in the unit and how convenient that makes life now
-getting little signs from best friend that he hasn't completely lost his mind and still has care for me and maybe even feelings still. in an anger in the grocery store,he even mentioned how much he wants to achieve certain things and how it's my fault he hasn't blah blah blah that were goals he didn't even want at first and that i had suggested to him some time ago that he little by little realized were good goals to have. I have influence over him still and that's vital for me to see right now. I truly think he has become so wounded by me but other signs too including him randomly seeing a little boy and father telling the boy to walk to him and telling me see,he's trying to give me tough love like the father to the boy. I have no idea what that meant,but it showed again he does have care still,he's just very very lost and wounded and i've come to realize that i need to be very patient with him and love him still. the majority of the pictures in his phone are even of my cat,again another thing showing i'm important to him. that was MY cat and it means something to me that he so many pictures of her in his phone. i'm just grateful to be seeing signs he still loves me and i still matter.
-reminding myself to love myself no matter what is going on right now
-my conviction
-remembering no matter how bad things seem to remember to have faith and that things like that could just be tests and you never what something could lead to so just trust all is working in your favor
-affirmations with the words i believe. so powerful.
-remaining dedicated to retraining my mind
-listening to some root chakra music and how amazing it is to listen to headphones again
-not even having a desire to check tarot anymore as it's so fake and silly
-my bed
-my bedroom
-surrendering a little bit since it seems that might be vital
-soothing myself after my nightmare by knowing why it happened and reassurances from best friend
-that my book will be in the mail soon
-that awesome affirming line from bashar in the video tonight that felt like a good omen
-knowing i can now wash.condition,and color my hair and it's safe for my ear. i'm almost all caught up with normal things and then off to getting really caught up on work and social things and so on
-my desire spring forth to really get out there again and make things happen and feel good and show everyone how wrong they were to treat me awful. success will be the best revenge.
-the new vegan coffee that caught my eye that i bought to try this week