GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-red light microcurrent wand therapy
-drinking water
-sleep
-quiet
-calm
-drinking water
-cozy cushioned socks
-my memory foam headboard pillow
-telling the guy i liked how i feel in a way that felt non baiting, and non-controlling after processing how i felt about things for a day or two
-music
-art
-movies
-walking
-stretching and yoga
-my new paint splatter hoodie with the awesome huge sleeves
-getting refunds
-magnesium helping my heart to feel better
-changing to less constrictive bra to make heart feel better
-night skies
-animals like bunny rabbits and cats in nature
-hyaluronic acid
-seeing a juvederm day deal coming up next month
-confirming a lot of jobs for agency i like and even double booking and having jobs for end of next month too
-losing weight and seeing stomach look flatter
-kindness from others such as someone has been bringing my mail to my door lately
-my arms and legs looking slimmer
-pulling it together
-how much thinner my face is than this time last year
-seeing light at the the end of the tunnel of my credit being able to get good again in a time frame that isn't super far off and is do-able
-new selfies of myself that werent too bad and getting compliments on them and how good my hair color looked with the latest touch up
-physical exercise
-massage
-therapy
-being productive
-the sound of crickets in the summer
-fun
-laughing
-play
-being resourceful
-getting approved for a new debit card by a bank i wanted
-my femininity
-having baby face features
-changing my perspective on things
-opening my mind
-being smart
-having beautiful eye color and shape
-new opportunities
-being stronger in some ways now
-prayer
-new bedsheet set i ordered
-my starbucks drink putting me in a better mood on bad days
-biotene spray helping my dry mouth issue i started having recently
-my new yoga mat and how thick it is and how nice that is

[buttercup]

-newness
-neighbor guy starting to talk to me again and apologizing saying he's been going through things and shutting people out
-deciding i need to just up my anxiety meds dosing as needed to get through everything that's going on and that i won't try and restrict that anymore or be resistant to it
-confirming a lot of jobs and being earning my pre-♥♥♥♥♥ income again
-feeling more attractive again lately
-drinking water
-free snacks and drinks at work
-getting a free manicure at work last weekend which was fun and nice
-meeting more new people lately
-feeling like i'm getting more attention from the opposite sex again
-doing some yin yoga tonight
-liquid magnesium supplement
-the extreme dry mouth i had going away
-being offered to extend my shift i have this weekend
-digestive enzymes i've been trying
-seeing clothes get looser on me, and that some clothes are just too bummy and frumpy for me to keep wearing now
-movies
-laughing
-how cute my cats are
-how soft my two house cat's fur is
-serendipity
-trying new things
-processing feelings on neighbor guy and realizing some positive things and just things i need to know about myself
-showering more often again and being more on top of my skincare again, hygiene again
-trying to help a small cat i seen yesterday
-kindness from others
-vibing with some people from work last week
-one of my boss's last week calling me beautiful
-being complimented more lately
-being told i look like a model
-juvederm day that is coming up that started
-my heart starting to feel stronger again
-hyaluronic acid and the hyaluronic acid and rose serum i've been using
-botox
-fashion
-adding copper toner on my hair and it working out like i wanted to bring my hair to a new copper blonde shade
-face charting what injections i want to get next
-reflecting on my new style and beauty changes i'm making and wanting to make
-hot guys
-art
-sunshine
-techno music
-night skies
-the sounds of summertime like crickets
-finally getting around to getting a picture from art basel retouched
-trying new things
-feeling my feelings and processing things
-the palmer's coconut body lotion i bought and how soothing and moisturizing it is
-my dad apologizing for going nuts on me
-people who help animals
-updating my work wardrobe and wardrobe in general little by little
-that my check has been sent to me
-hair ties
-my eyes looking healthier and my looks improving
-reflecting on situations that were unfair to me and what i can do, and how i can do better to advocate for myself
-managing to get to work and home all week transportation money-wise which was definitely a challenge
-uber gifts cards
-my older friend J giving me money last week to get my account back to being no longer negative and help me get work
-lysol
-things that are kind of unique and different
-clorox wipes
-activating my new debit card
-the info i've learned and reflected on with my landlord situation
-afterpay
-catching up on sleep
-physical touch
-birthday kisses
-face massage
-starting my birthday intentions(way late) with the wish kit i got
-my starbucks drink i like
-being around my peers and how good that is for me
-my agent fighting for me and being nice to me about unfortunate work situation that happened to me
-fascia blasting my stomach
-my burberry sunglasses
-trying out my new black shorts i bought in spring and how flattering they were on me
-my femininity
-being smart
-having beautiful eyes
-having nice lips
-lip flips
-M being there for me this last week while i worked
-inspiration
-learning new things
-coming back into my power again
-getting a $20 giftcard at one of the vendors at my job last weekend
-my waist slimming out
-being around and doing cool things
-massage
-staying strong
-trying to be more on top of cleaning
-having a compassionate heart
-my boys being good about being on the porch with me and staying close and behaving
-when p cat sits next to me. it's so cute
-my back cushion headboard pillow thing
-my new shower curtain changing the vibe of my place a little more positive
-legal assistance from lcbh
-prayer
-vegan fast foods
-having great style
-being an activist at heart
-great prices
-getting refunds i needed
-doing my positive affirmations yesterday
-having stories to tell
-beautiful pictures of myself
-my status
-having nice hands and fingers
-seeing my manicure posted on ig by the business who did it

[buttercup]

-listening to heart chakra music
-doing all the jobs i have this month
-my last job going pretty well
-confirming more jobs going into next month as well
-treating myself to a glass of wine break at my last job and how delicious that wine was and how nice it was to do something for me and do something like i used to do before my life got what feels like stolen from me
-drinking water
-going to whole foods again, and one of the better locations and how nice that was. The selections of food options.
-making the decisions to go back on topamax after noticing i've been snacking a lot and seeing my snacking has cut back and i'm feeling full quicker again and clothes are getting looser again and deducing the topamax works with my bupropion for me and being off an ssri is needed. It's all synergistic and i need to pay attention to how i react to these meds.
-new scrunchies i ordered for variety
-a nice journaling session the other day and filling out the journal to where it's out of pages now
-fashion
-learning about why things happen so i can troubleshoot such as my eyebrows issue i've been having with first deciding i needed a darker eyebrow makeup color then learning eyebrows lighten with age and i might need to get a procedure done soon such as microblading which i've been considering for awhile anyways
-getting flirted with more often and offered things again
-my angel friend J being there for me this year
-cleaning wipes
-baby wipes
-how smart, cute and beautiful my cats are
-ordering my buy one get one free juvederm card in time for the sale they were having
-budgeting and seeing what i was spending way too much on and to cut out
-how moisturizing the palmer's body lotion i use now is and that it does seem to repel bugs
-cleaning last night
-techno music to motivate me to be productive
-follow my higher self to take a break and not go to the job i had on saturday and sunday and finding out what a wreck it was and seeing i made the right decision
-blankets
-night skies
-friendly people
-peaceful sounds
-discovering new things
-botox
-deciding to get the botox brow lift to fix my eye area this week
-my abs being sore from working my abs the other day
-going to the laundromat
-getting my eyebrows threaded
-newness
-moving forward
-clean teeth
-the way summer sounds
-realizing i was swayed into thinking my anxiety meds are bad and i shouldn't be on them which made me want to prove i could be off of them which is why i tried to be off of them and i detoxed but ultimately with my ptsd, and severe panic attacks i am someone who should be on them and at a adequate dose. On them, i am physically comfortable, facial tics i sometimes get from anxiety go away. I can do things i normally have an extremely hard time doing with ease and i feel collected and coherent. These meds changed my life a few years ago, and i was brainwashed suddenly one day that i shouldnt be on them. I can't take care of my cats, and myself as well without them. At least not right now with everything going on. I troubleshoot better with them. It's the right thing to do to be on them. I'm a better me. I am glad i proved to myself i could be off them and examined the idea.
-sleep
-showering more often again
-hyaluronic acid serums
-perspective on things
-reflecting on things
-my acupressure slippers
-getting cat treats for my cats
-getting better at cutting out people who aren't doing anything for me
-my red light therapy wand
-face massage
-having beautiful eyes
-having a baby face
-social worker from lcbh reaching out to me
-updating my resume
-sunshine
-being resourceful
-my looks improving a little
-my eyes looking healthier
-having made a new female friend at work recently
-meeting new people
-looking a good amount younger than i am
-selling my perfume set on poshmark
-my lint roller
-my sense of humor
-lysol spray
-entertainment
-learning
-positive affirmations
-prayer
-colors
-good luck omens
-healing problems i've had
-growing as a person
-scalp massage
-my talents
-getting offers for first career opportunities
-fun ideas opportunities given to me
-trying to better myself
-fun
-things to be grateful for
-that this year has been better than last year
-canned mountain dew
-art
-great design
-creativity
-beauty
-my beauty

[buttercup]

-strong synchronicity that neighbor J is going to contact me and see me again
-pillows and my headboard pillow
-processing my feelings of why neighbor J was being the way he is and my attachment to him
-getting my botox brow lift
-sleep
-ativan
-going back on topamax and losing 2 lbs of weight from the extra snacking so far
-vitamin water
-the delicious protein bars i worked for that i had extra of and brought home the other day and had one of tonight
-entertainment
-making a new instagram post
-my new charms i got, the ring pop and another four leaf clover
-my beauty products
-compliments
-getting offered more things by guys
-the coppery tones in my hair looking really good
-blankets
-colors
-the church stairs where i like to sit down and reflect and meditate
-drinking water
-moisturizers
-hair ties
-sunshine
-love in my heart
-making decisions on things
-physical exercise
-toning exercises
-neck stretches
-budgeting my money to see where it went
-having a new checking account
-getting approved for secured credit cards and starting to feel like that might be the move
-feeling more ambitious and wanting to dress more feminine again and with more effort
-my cactus flower moisturizer
-cleaning the floor yesterday by where i have some clothes
-going to therapy today
-finding out the court date from paralegal
-having nice eyes
-applying to jobs
-lysol
-wine
-my friend sending me a microwave he ordered me off amazon since mine broke from the cats knocking it off the table
-having a nice chest
-music
-compassion
-working on raising my vibration
-working on getting my life back
-being more coherent
-being creative
-others finding me attractive
-making new friends
-being strong and doing what i want
-fashion
-having great taste
-socks

[buttercup]

-going to the hospital to find out what's wrong with me and get a doctor's note
-drinking water
-my fever breaking
-my power not shutting off and when logging off to pay it finding out that there was no longer a shut off notice, that a payment agreement had been made over a week or ago according to the electronic statement and i only owed a much lower amount and being able to pay that and how good it felt to be able to pay my utility bill, and a regular amount not just a teeny tiny amount for the first time in a while. a step towards normal, and getting back to my old life and building back.
-getting hummus at a store near the hospital since there is none in a 2 mile radius near my home for some reason
-my new hair color
-having baby face features
-moisturizers
-blankets
-my friend J randomly sending me money while i was sick for meds and using it to pay for my storage uniit
-my new black lace camisoles
-stretching
-my eyes looking no longer dead, really like they did this time last year or early this year even
-surrender
-clean clothes
-the lady at the laundromat giving me free detergent the other day saying i can owe her when i was going to just pay for the overpriced from her
-ativan for calming me down
-letting myself process my feelings of "neighbor boy" and that it makes me sad he ceased contact for me even if it doesnt make sense for me to be that sad, even if it's illogical. letting myself just feel it.
-my new unicorns in space journal for the new mood/vibe i wanted to go for
-socks
-cleaning wipes
-my new glow in the dark cash app debit card i designed in the app. it also no longer has cash out fees because i can just use it as the debit card.
-having my capital one debit card now too
-being approved for my capital one secured credit card, just need to put the deposit on it.
-listening to chakra music today
-sleep
-realizing more about my likes, from neighbor boy
-having at least a smidge of fun this year
-meeting new people this year and social connections
-walking a lot the other week and exploring some of the college campuses
-taking the bus to the post office with the hours i needed and being right by by nami deciding to walk over and finally accomplishing that goal by therapist wanted me to of knowing how to get there by bus, and deciding to walk home which was nice
-getting new inspiration from others
-great prices
-starbucks apple crisp macchiato
-fashion
-art
-friendly people
-helpful people
-compassion
-beauty
-having great cleavage
-making progress and change this year
-earning pre-♥♥♥♥♥ income in august
-starting to have source of income again to show for
-beauty products
-trying new things
-remembering fun
-trying to have a tad of joy here and there again
-M being a little more open,leniant with how much money she's been giving me lately
-my friend J sending me a new microwave right away after finding out my cats broke the one i had, and somehow a very similar one i had, similar color! I don't recall even showing him the color i had before but maybe i did.
-botox
-how cute and funny my cats are
-love
-goals
-expanding myself as a person
-finally ordering a soup pan after M decided to give me money to order one
-having a great sense of style
-powerades
-peaceful sounds
-ibuprofen
-being stronger than months ago, getting stronger
-being assertive
-ordering a new toy for my cats that looks so outrageous and fun that i think they'll like, a 4 way tunnel
-sunshine
-having a great sense of style
-going by the lake the other week while at work and how peaceful that was
-new adventures
-movies to watch that feel good or are interesting
-prayer
-affirmations
-sweeping the floor some yesterday
-febreeze room spray
-feeling close to being able to start looking for an apartment again
-riding my bike to visit my feral cats recently
-manifesting a text from M's husband after complaining in text to him why can't i get updates about the cats and then him giving me an update
-face massage
-allergan selling gift cards again so i can easily envelope my funds for services now by buying gift cards and stacking them up saving up

[buttercup]

-my work i used to do that i want to want to return to that gave me so many opportunities, clout, and ability to make an impression
-trying to be a good person and do the right thing
-new things and experimenting with new themes, moods and vibes, even colors
-trying out fall drinks and foods from starbucks and the like such as tonight the pumpkin spice iced latte
-finally getting a new pot so i can start making soups again and go on a soup
-becoming more assertive again now that i've gotten a little stronger again
-giving in and buying myself a marc jacobs bag
-having great fashion sense
-the job that let me go unfairly(the client) paying me for all the days even the ones i didn't work and my uber i sent receipt for which was a pleasant suprise
-new experiences
-getting neck botox
-compliments
-getting the black work sneakers i wanted to order
-soups
-my primary putting me back on b-12 prescriptions
-appreciating my cats
-being smart
-being creative
-being myself
-being open to new things-being smart
-being creative
-being myself
-being open to new things
-peaceful sounds like summertime sounds, middle of the night train sounds etc
-reassurances
-losing weight again
-hummus
-good bread
-getting perspective on things with my appearance
-cuteness
-reflection
-meeting a cat last night and hanging out with the cat and feeding the cat, petting the cat, etc
-cleaning wipes
-movies
-sleep
-having goals
-having nice eyes
-positive affirmations
-prayer
-walking more
-drinking water
-sunshine
-makeup
-social support
-music
-hyaluronic acid
-new ways of thinking of things
-evolving as a person
-scrunchies
-handwash
-moisturizers
-ibuprofen
-setting intention
-b cat wanting to cuddle with me and coming to sit on me sometimes
-my paralegal from lcbh
-blankets
-the power of love
-my sephora account finally getting fixed
-therapy sessions

[buttercup]

-things starting to flow a little more since deciding to listen to spirituality podcasts like wayne dyer on a almost daily basis. feeling people a little more drawn to me, and connected to me to i think.
-jobs opening back up
-my weight getting back down to it's lowest in the last 2 years, and that it was in late july again, finally
-being back on my b-12 shots
-making sure to go in and get my b-12 shot today believing it would help me
-not really eating cheese that i can remember for almost a week now
-the cat tunnel i got for my cats and b cat going in it more now too
-sending a cat bed and treats to l cat
-getting a cat bed for my cats
-getting a call from the agency that had the client want me off the job in early august want to book me for a job. I didn't get back to them in time, but it was good to see i really wasn't blacklisted.
-trying to drink more water
-eating soups with my new soup pot
-how much better it feels my place being clean and mopped and learning cleaning ideas from housecleaner coming here
-p cat calming down after whining a lot the day after housecleaner was here and stuff was moved around and taking him outside and walking with him like a baby to calm him down
-confirming 2 jobs the other day with an agency
-doing a training with another agency and then confirming 8 jobs with them
-getting a lip flip
-lip scrubs
-inspiration behind what can be done with antiaging with fillers, supplements, exercise, botox, and so on
-my new hair color
-posting a new current selfie of myself
-being over j neighbor guy, having processed my feelings on that
-vegan food
-going for a walk last night to ground myself
-doing a resistance training session at home and getting really sore from it
-sunshine
-babywipes
-techno music
-makeup
-my new eyebrow makeup i use that makes my eyebrows look thicker, darker, and longer
-lip sleeping masks
-fashion
-staying back on topamax to get my weight where i want it
-prayer
-scrunchies
-ativan
-finding papers i was looking for last night
-letting myself cry out my feelings of anger and hurt on my walk last night
-my new unicorn journal
-getting an email about work i've done and using that as an opportunity to follow up on my bonus i never got, and getting it today
-seeing my cats curled up together and deciding to lay next to them and waking up feeling very cozy
-therapy sessions
-trying to be productive despite how tired i've been feeling and unorganized
-making a plan to see l cat
-beauty
-peaceful sounds
-being in such a better place than i was 6-8 months ago
-having gorgeous eyes
-healing my metabolism
-my chanel foundation
-the positive changes i've made in my life this year
-tear trough filler
-having source of income now
-perspective about my flaws
-acupressure slippers
-deciding i need to get myself an inexpensive fall jacket and doing so the other day
-face massage
-the work i've put in to improve my circumstances
-trying to stay consistent and determined to change my circumstances
-having someone to help me with apartment relocating
-trying to be strong
-trying to be smart
-trying to be open
-trying to be positive
-newness
-friendliness

[buttercup]

-staying determined to do my walk despite my scare tonight
-loving my cats despite them driving me crazy and interrupting my sleep
-doing laundry
-my new hair color
-my weight being a little less and being less then it was this time last year
-hair ties and and doing high ponytails lately
-a new pic to post on social media
-skinny pop popcorn
-fashion
-listening to positive and spiritual audios to give my mind good brain food
-confirming more jobs today
-feeling like the world is becoming a little friendlier
-doing what i need to do, to take care of my cats
-b-12 shots
-writing more in my new unicorn journal
-entertainment
-hyaluronic acid
-having lovely eyes
-feeling more attractive than i did last year
-that i think a cashier at the walgreens might have a crush on me
-my new marc jacobs bag
-manifesting 2 marc jacobs, getting a 2nd one the very next day
-getting refunds on the things i need refunds on
-having elegance
-my past accomplishments
-my first career things i've done
-nightskies
-my new brown duster sweater
-my creativity and resourcefulness
-ativans to take to calm me down
-my sense of style
-meeting a pharmacist who was wearing a little four leaf clover who mentioned meeting a lady at the nearby school who knew of a place with a field of 4 leaf clovers and that she makes the thing she was wearing and she'd remember to get one for me for next time she seen me after telling her my story of how i always have good luck after seeing four leaf clovers. I already considered it good luck however just seeing hers.
-leveling up
-moisturizing
-washing my blanket to have since the weather is becoming cooler
-ordering a pet safe humidity adding plant just now since the last one i tried to order became unavailable and it happens to be called money tree which sounds like good luck
-organizing one of the piles and clearing a path that was blocking things for my cats and stressing me out a little too
-realizing and accepting i found out neighbor boy's secret and it's as simple as that
-clean clothes
-ordering a budget retinol from reputable trendy label
-trying to be productive
-inspiration
-being talented
-my neck being smaller
-meeting some of my goals
-topamax seeming to work for me in conjunction with wellbutrin
-trying to be a good person
-being healthier than i was this time last year
-having sophistication
-botox
-colors
-light
-my face getting more thinner
-learning things
-having a kind heart
-makeup
-updating things such as resume, social media's etc

[buttercup]

-having had cool and interesting life experiences
-taking care of my skin
-deodorant
-appreciating p cat
-my grounding walks i go on
-my new journal
-journaling
-how hot i find neighbor boy
-my new marc jacobs bag
-calculating my august earnings
-reflecting on things
-having a better perspective on things such as earnings for september
-having a job this week
-drinking water
-taking zinc and vitamin d
-trying to do more toning, strength exercises
-entertainment
-ativan
-moisturizer
-my hair ties and pulling my hair up in a high pony tail
-making an effort to do things despite how low and drained i felt today
-M saying M's husband would drop off stamps and ibuprofens today
-calling back the apartment locator lady today
-my abs feeling sore from toning work the other day
-my hair color
-botox
-having goals
-evolving as a person
-listening to spiritual/positive audios
-my neck looking smaller
-chivalry
-my arms looking smaller
-updating my linkedin
-trying out putting my cat's food on a plate vs bowl to see if they like that better
-getting a partial refund for the housecleaning job recently
-a check coming last night
-sunshine
-nightskies
-my elegance
-my creativity
-my intelligence
-getting my body stronger
-prayer
-

[buttercup]

-doing my written affirmations tonight, and deciding to start doing them DAILY or at least almost daily again
-wearing my new marc jacobs bag out tonight
-doing a decent job of eating a low amount of food today
-drinking water
-moisturizer
-wearing brow makeup today
-going to starbucks and getting an apple croissant and apple macchiato to get out of the house for a bit
-buying stamps so i can try and mail my medical letter to secretary of state
-p cat laying by me which is really cute
-noticing when i stayed up and didn't go to sleep, p cat didn't whine at all proving even more he only is whining because i go to sleep
-new experiences
-getting new job potential job offers
-my quilt being clean and the fresh from the machine smell
-buying baby aspirin finally
-getting money in just in time to pay my storage unit without getting a late fee
-my body getting more toned
-my arms looking smaller
-going for my walks which make me feel grounded and motivated and making them longer
-clipping p cat's nails since he may have gotten out of hand a little with b cat earlier
-my plant coming the other day
-ativan
-walking home earlier
-laughing at funny things early in the morning and tonight that had me dying of laughter for some reason
-unpacking neighbor boy some more by asking people questions and trying to process stuff because all of it has just been so weird to me
-changing the litter box
-cleaning the papers mess the cats made in the hallway
-nightskies
-how peaceful the rain was by my window tonight
-ideas
-watching a movie tonight that was kind of nice
-coming up with witty, smart things i'd say, will say in court, want to do if asked and just want to make sure is said/done.
-inspiration
-stretching
-having a kind heart
-baby wipes
-my maturity
-trying to change things and clean up my vibe
-finding a card to send my dad that looks cool and thoughtful
-having a book i want to order for my dad for his birthday i think he'd like about synchronicity