-holy crap an amazing night last night,will just go over that in one bullet point for ease.
so,i went to hang out with E and that was nice. E and I got on well with each other and talked love life updates and i got it confirmed by seeing in person that him and B were not close at all and he didn't know we were seeing each other until I had told him. chatting with E and all going well and getting to chat about B and seeing as they werent close going ahead and telling him why B and I ended seeing as it wouldn't harm anything.realizing how close E and I had gotten after all this time.E telling me early in the night i'm super super hot. E's friend Y showing up and remembering me well and being nice to me though teasing me some and trying to flirt with me and being really nice to me as was everyone i told about B stuff including gf of one of E's friends when they showed up and her talking to me about it. My friend A showing up unexpectedly which was wonderful since i worried he was mad at me when he didnt respond to my last message and on his own without anyway of knowing I was going out with B,i talked to him about B and revealed to him about B and he knew exactly what B's problem was as he is seeing the girl B went out with before me and he told me she left him because they tried to have sex and he didnt know how and he couldn't get it up and that B is very awkward and inexperienced and that he thinks something happened to him in his developmental phase and it's messed with his head and that it wasn't me at all because what i told him was way too familar sounding to what he heard already from girl he is seeing of what she said. This was super healing and gave me a lot of closure. This all matched up to details B had said too and also reassuring was the girl A is seeing that B was seeing i found out is not the girl i had worries and jealousies it was,i figured it wasn't but on A's own I had confirmed who it was and that other girl i had worried is just some random girl A met once. Also from talking to E and finding out opinions on what he thinks of two people B knows that are his friends and that the older woman is considered unlikable apparently and that B's best friend is considered very awkward with girls and weird. It felt so good hanging with E and A again like I did early last year and it was such good vibes and i felt very reassured and confident. The birthday guy telling me I supposedly was already fb friends with him but deleted him which is so not true,i don't know where he gets that from and he showed me my facebook in his recent search activity which was interesting so apparently he's googled me before and he then added me to fb right then and there which is kind of weird so apparently i'm getting well known in their group of friends. Y hacking my facebook for a minute to wish a goofy message on birthday guys facebook wall after hearing that. random girls from the group being really nice and chatting me and pulling me over to join them and talk which i thought was very sweet and one girl saying she met me before who i have no idea who she was.E buying me a drink in the early part of the night. A buying shots for everyone in the middle of the night. Y buying a few of us drinks at the end of the night. When I was ready to leave,A and E looking surprised and saying why and suggesting we go somewhere else,so a group of us all did.A saying something thoughtful about how people like me and him like people like B because of what we do and how exciting it is,we crave that opposite factor in a partner,that stability. i thought that was so thoughtful. A groping me not because of liking that but because he did it in a joking way in front on everyone and i think E seen. dancing with the gf of one E's friends and how nice she was. E and and Y joining and how we all danced.A had left by now and someone else. E and I were dancing now.We were kind of close. I didn't think anything of it. E had been looking at my chest a lot before this point before we started dancing. I notice he does this sometimes. Then,he kissed me. We made out. The 3 people left of our group seen i'm sure. It was kind of a big scene we made. A year and half of tensions and vibing and saying to each other we are just friends and how great that is and now this. I had pulled a tarot reading before i went out and got the tower. i clarified it and got the ten of cups. now i understand. i also clarifed it again and got king of wands. somehow i can see how this all makes sense if i wanted to follow that tarot.i had felt bad for E because before we kissed his friends were lecturing him to just go for it and he was frustrated about asking a girl out and how to do it and we had both talked about our love lives in the early part of the night. maybe i always did think of E as a hero sort of since he was a good guy and always had invited me out and introduced me to friends. we talked after we kissed. i maybe said too much but also didn't say much. I revealed to A and then later E during the night after he kept saying he's not judgemental person that I cut myself after the B thing because of how hurt I was. it was an amazing night. it was chill and good vibes,and lots of compliments and feeling respected by women and wanted by men and like my friends care for me and that I win and am closer to them then B was. it's a small thing,and i don't want B to lose them or anything but I also knew B wasn't close to them anyways. Finding out too that B had texted E twice in the last two weeks which i think is quite odd and E had declined hanging out saying he was busy. Also,remembering that E had texted B when we first went out randomly and B had thought that was odd. They're not close to each other at all and i feel this is because of me possibly and it's kinda interesting. I had always wondered if one day E and I would kiss and something would happen later on down the line. Well,time flies and maybe now is that time. I have no idea what will happen now or what i want. I just told him no matter what i don't want to lose the friendship. We talked after we made out and kissed a little during and even kissed goodbye. That's not something you do to someone you just had a random make out with and that's it.
-all the pictures i took last night. and the pictures A took of the group of us
-A complimenting a selfie i had in my phone of my face
-coffee
-almond milk and how much better it makes my coffee taste
-french toast sticks
-finally trying uber out on my own for the first time and free credits it had so expenses going down last night
-getting my eyebrows threaded and how much more attractive it made me feel and younger it makes me look
-l texting me last night i think checking up on me and a little jealous
-how simplified life feels now. i had a lot to do and simplied and told myself i felt most best thing to do was eyebrows and go out last night,and then it came to me to try the uber since it was another thing i wanted to do and would kill two birds with one stone as i also wanted friend to finally figure out how to use it and now after playing around on it,he knows how
-my creativity and resourcefulness
-feeling in a high vibe mood and honestly,a little moved forward now from B and of course again,super super reassured
-how great a good night out makes me feel
-feeling like i'm winning again.i worried about feeling like a loser and now i feel like a winner and feel hot and remembering B is the nerdy one which in a way also almost makes me feel awkward
-sounds of the birds chirping
-how much more independent i'm becoming.i forget the progress i've made,but i actually am getting better and more independent and confident with things like getting around the city on my own and such
-how open everyone was last night.it was like it was just my night to shine and do whatever i wanted.even the meetup girl i thought i might go to later responded right away and was very open and that doesnt tend to happen with meetup people
-A revealing he is closer to B then E not that any of them are close to him just that out of any of the two it would be him because he's going out with the girl B went out with first
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