1. #471


    -doing some driving today,and after crying it all out once feeling overwhelmed,ending up driving better afterwards
    -being given more money,and more money put on my card
    -getting more stuff moved out
    -great weather today and how great the sun felt
    -feeling like i'm really close to getting the driver's liscense.i go back and forth between feeling like i'm so close to getting it,and like i'll never be able to drive
    -how beautiful the city is
    -inspired ideas that come during meditation
    -another job offer for primary career which is nice,since other thing getting postponed again really made me feel awful
    -my determination
    -last night after best friend took stuff out while i was gone,and how heartbreaking that was..he even left the damn closet light on...seeing how exactly pretty much all or most of what he took was exactly what i had kept checking for to see if it was still there whenever i'd come back the last weeks,so again,loa at work,also because yesterday was the one day i stopped thinking if best friend would come to apartment or not while i was gone,too
    -getting a response to one of the jobs for the work i used to do last night.very exciting!
    -adding a couple new intentions to my written list i wrote out about a month ago,and seeing how quite a few of them did manifest already
    -getting some driving studying done online tonight
    -getting more garbage taken out

  2. #472


    -that after the drama of attracting seeing EX best friend,and then his gf suddenly deciding to start following me and harassing me,and then me losing the volunteer position,that at least i know EX best friend's work ethics aren't good according to manager,and that he is going to try and place me into a different gym. unbelievable. can't believe how immature and high-school-ish her stunt was.
    -getting a reply right away for an interview to a host position
    -my ambition
    -getting a date confirmed for first job freelance gig(hate the word gig).
    -the protein drink best friend's mom made me.
    -that at least best friend's mom seems to be on my side,and said she believes me because she seen how R is,and she told ex best friend that she isn't allowed in her house anymore
    -the amazing,beautiful,sunny,warm weather today
    -the beautiful colors the sun created. very surreal
    -my hair looking amazing after coloring it last night
    -meditation,which always helps at least a little bit

  3. #473


    -feeling like everything will be ok
    -my hair
    -doing a cycling class that gave me a nice healthy flush and then a yoga class. i'm so excited for my life to turn more fitness focused
    -delicious banana protein drink made for me
    -best friends mom "M" offering me if i'd want to go to california for a month to help take care of her grandfather and that she'd give me money too so i could do stuff too since she knows how much i like california. was quite a tempting offer. this too felt very familar as if it happened before.
    -getting more stuff moved out of apartment
    -getting a bunch of interview requests and responses for jobs i applied to when i woke up this morning. was super reassuring.
    -getting two phone interviews done today for possible work
    -seeing the pool at the gym,and just seeing it putting me in a good mood. just the smell of chlorine puts me in a good mood.
    -the beautiful nightskies
    -best friend's mom's M's nice friend who goes to her yoga classes
    -being told i have very long legs today
    -the black tank top i wore today and how good it looked on me.i looked so slim,young,and feminine. it's such a perfect cut. it made me have the perfect model build.
    -having an amazing body structure. i love the lines of my body
    -choosing a health plan for the insurance and enrolling myself in it
    -that i'll soon have a bike and best friend's dad bringing it up today. i can really see myself riding it and going far
    -my body looking slimmer from all the workouts i've been doing
    -being inspired to make my finances really good from all that's gone on and to really love money
    -that M told me the manager of gym is going to call me and to just tell him i can handle the situation professionally
    -vegan chocolate toffee
    -getting papers printed
    -getting clothes thrown in wash and then dryer
    -having my mom visit for a bit

  4. #474


    -getting more stuff packed and out of the house
    -that ex best friend's mom seems to be on my side,and all the jokes me,her,and ex best friend's dad made about her tonight
    -sour patches,the bigger sized ones. they remind of being a kid. love them.
    -vegan toffee
    -M(ex best friend's mom) saying i am going to hip hop class this saturday,i think. it looks like i'm going to be getting very immersed in fitness from these changes which i like
    -deciding to buy the cute activewear legging pants i wanted a few months since i seen them back in stock and a little less money now somehow on the site i shop at
    -applying to some more jobs today
    -getting my best score yet i believe on one of the practice driving tests
    -my phone
    -doing a round of EFT last night even though it was very late,and having the core cause of my insecurity about something career related come to the surface which was great.
    -sleep. had interesting and ex best friend went on different planes. so symbolic. it was literally him getting off to go on a different plane. it's interesting the way our minds give us dreams. how is it that with how awful he has been to me i still love him? he is family to me.i just don't know how he can be so awful lately.i miss the days when he'd go to his aunt's house and watch a movie with her while i was at a job.
    -doing some work with second business for a little bit. very discouraging with business partner wanting to drop out after launch of project one,but all i can do is take life one day at a time,and keep at it,i guess
    -the laptop i'm using

  5. #475


    -therapy today
    -latte today
    -dream that seemed symbolic of ex best friend breaking up with R. It was of him and a snake that looked fake like it was plastic and he killed it. i was thinking about that snake dream i had before when she first came into the picture before bed. it was of me seeing a snake and he couldn't see it,but then i said look it's right on you,and he seen it and then killed it for me well,it's wrong to kill animals but it's symbolic. it was the point of him saving me,too.i call her fake a lot and had called her a snake a lot so the dream this morning was interesting
    -taking a nap
    -booking a paid job for may. met my goal. it's just a one-time job doing what i did before that i stopped doing but it's been so long since i earned a check that i thought booking one of these just to get the feeling of getting a check again would be good for,i book this kind of work with ease unlike other jobs i apply for where there's more trouble since i lack experience with normal jobs.
    -my stomach being nice and flat and sculpted from the cardio work

  6. #476


    -getting stuff moved out today and handling it not too bad
    -latte this morning
    -leaving behind a symbolism gift ex best friend gave me 12 years ago alone in the bedroom that was mine behind as a sort of final statement for him
    -laying down
    -pizza and fries and soda for lunch
    -the guided meditation during yoga
    -getting protein drink made for me
    -a hip hop dance class tomorrow
    -getting several job offers like what i booked the other day from a different agency and a confirmation for one to work this week!
    -getting starbucks cinnamon cake and 2 cakepops
    -my phone
    -M saying well,soon i'll know how to drive,and then i can use that to get around when her and her husband aren't using their cars which motivated me a bit
    -M calling her husband while we were moving asking him if there was a way he could bring my couch since she knew i was sentimentally attached to it,and then offering to buy a couch to put in the room. it really cheered me up that she even cared that much.
    -another thing with A that I seen in my feed showing we are very in sync and he is going through similar things as me
    -another gig offer from primary career

  7. #477


    -getting yoga pants,and active wear top bought for me
    -bonding more with M and getting more comfortable with her
    -cake pops. love these.
    -getting a good sleep last night that was very rejuvenating
    -showing i am different now then before with people i'm staying with and that i am trying
    -my rain boots. so cozy.
    -that M has seemed to be on my side about R
    -some time to myself before leaving this morning

  8. #478


    -going to the movies today
    -getting that time of the month
    -S emailing me
    -feeling relaxed
    -getting some driving done today including driving back home from a certain point which was really cool and also driving up a hill at another. feeling like i'm getting better in some ways with driving
    -deciding tomorrow to go back to daily meditating
    -that ex best friend's dad works tomorrow so i can have house to myself for a little bit
    -that i went inside pizza shop by myself today so was given a chance to say ex best friend's dad's wife brought me to owner in conversation which was great since i got worried if it seemed like i looked like a much younger woman he was buying food for
    -asking for ride i need to job i got for thursday which will be my first paycheck i earned in quite some time
    -making a list of appts i want to call tomorrow
    -my new pink water bottle
    -getting a couple things unpacked
    -J having something sent for 2nd business i do
    -business partner now starting to seem slightly more interested again
    -that so far things have been going mostly ok with new living situation and new life changes coming.
    -my rain boots and how cozy they are

  9. #479


    -my mango body lotion from whole foods
    -green tea face scrub
    -pink cake pops and cinnamon cakes from startbucks brought for me today
    -getting to meditate today
    -making the calls today
    -applying for jobs today
    -feeling better after a shower and breakfast this morning
    -having something click with me today about reversing that now makes me understand how to do it better
    -the sunset
    -M showing me how to use the oven,and making the food for me
    -MH saying he will bring me to my job and if he gets called to work will just end early that day so i can still do mine
    -getting most of my stuff brought in my room and closet mostly cleaned out
    -having house to myself for awhile today which was nice
    -adjusting in some ways to new arrangement

  10. #480


    -getting to meditate this morning. ah,love it.
    -having house to myself again for a little while
    -having breakfast
    -feeling better then yesterday morning upon waking
    -job this week is still on,and got a follow up email today about it. will be so nice to get a paycheck again.
    -that so far it's actually been a pretty easy transition mostly so far with being here
    -more stuff being organized since yesterday
    -doing a little root chakra sound therapies last night before bed
    -having dreams/desires
    -taking things one day at a time
    -feeling like best friend maybe does care for me with how angry he is at me. his actions scream he wants attention. he was complaining to his parents and his dad told him he has to let that anger go,it's not healthy. why is he so angry if i'm out of his life now? I haven't spoken to him in almost 6 weeks. It almost makes me thinks he wants me to have tried contacting him. He literally came in and cut himself out of my art print. On one hand,it seems he is being so mean and on the other,it makes me think he wishes i did try to contact him and is surprised i didn't. but what did he expect after the news he broke and finding out all those lies,and not to mention it's also pointless considering R probably reads all his texts. I love him,but sometimes you push someone away to a point where all you can do is let go. It just makes no sense why he is being mean to me still when he dropped me.
    -that i almost know how to drive,and i know this is the year i will be getting my liscense. it seems silly with how long it's taking,but it doesn't matter,it's a goal i know i'm going to achieve and progress is an amazing feeling.i could probably pass the test if i were to go now,but we are waiting until i'm so good,that there is no chance i won't pass on the first try.
    -actresses/models with a look like mine
    -comedy show actors and watching some clips last night before bed

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