GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-music
-water
-socks
-yoga pants
-having sexy curves
-massage
-going to pilates even though i didn't want to because then at class,her friend D was there,and at the end,M suggested to her friend D that we go bike riding together. i have suspected he has a crush on me.he has a vibe and just acts sort of silly around me.he seemed very excited about the idea so now there is officially a way for us to hang out that has come about besides just seeing him at classes. he is a much older man,and it's quite strange but i do feel slightly drawn to him. i'm not sure if it's just because part of me is lonely and likes the attention,or if it's that side of me that likes the drama and controversy of it. i've never dated a much older man,and i'm not sure i would,but if it did happen to come to about,it'd be something to check off my list as something different.
-pizza without cheese
-M's husband driving me to work today and getting coffee on the way
-my job at the yoga studio. love it there.
-the new people i've met this year
-the diffuser in my room
-ideas
-my latest article i've been working on getting more formed today and being almost done now.
-seeing my last article posted and published and how good it is.i really like how i did that one. i love that feeling of pride in myself and accomplishment.
-when i feel attractive. sometimes,i wonder what if i'm really hideous and just don't know it,but then i seem to attract so many guys,even when my hair is unbrushed,no makeup on and lazy clothes or just being totally aloof so i must be more attractive then i realize.i get asked out and hit on constantly and in the most random of places and situations.
-pinterest
-the internet
-protein shake M made me tonight and deciding to add basil to it.

[buttercup]

yikes. been so crazy the last week or so with painful things.

-M taking me to the movies today and the movie being the best movie i've seen in the last few months
-going to a new restaurant i've never been to before. discovering new tea there that was so cute,and how good the potatoes were.
-nice,sunny weather
-beautiful pictures of the outside cats i've taken
-working today and being teamed up with a guy who actually ended up being very interesting and inspiring. he seemed to have had a rough life and works hard and spends every winter traveling which i found inspiring and he wants others to know if he can do it on minimum wage,anyone can do it.he just works really hard in summer,and takes winters off.i also inspired him by encouraging him about starting a blog. he seemed to have a lot of strengths such as being the type to take out his phone and write notes of inspiring ideas and whatnot which was cool since he seems like the bad boy type on the outside,yet seems so efficient and organized. he also admitted to being a loner and socially awkward which is me,too. i wasn't attracted to him really,and i dont think he was me,I just found him interesting as someone who could be a friend. i don't think he'd be my type besides that.
-trying a smoothie at whole foods for lunch today and getting to work at the pier with the person i was partnered with. we ended up actually getting along pretty well,even though inititally i thought maybe he didn't like me but he was very nice,and take control and we actually got along well,and seemed to inspire each other. we walked,and had lunch and hung out working. it was nice.
-feeling like i actually did a lot today which is nice.
-that M's friend D has my number now,too. She gave it to him earlier today,and i had texted him this afternoon.
-that M actually seemed to had taken my side during the arguments me and her husband had gotten into the last two days. she had talked to him yesterday and told him he needs to change how he is towards me. then today,he went psycho and got mad at me,and she took my side again and when he called her on the phone to try and get her to take his side,she told him she had talked to him about this and she told me she's surprised he was like this again since she had just talked to him yesterday. he ended up apologizing in his way to me tonight. she said that's big for him. she also confided that he's been in the hospital before his issues with his mind which now makes a lot of sense why he had suggested it to me before. it's because M's sister,and him had both spent time there so he doesn't think of it as a bad thing. M said he had confided in her before suicidal thoughts and about leaving her before and she even said on her honeymoon he bummed her out because she had ordered just a very expensive salad at a restaurant and he got mad at her and had told her she should order something more substantial and that she had wanted to explore more but he didn't really want to and that
s why ever since then she hasn't really traveled with him.
-detaching my mind mind from painful things i don't like
-self soothing negative monkey mind
-M putting $50 in my account since i'm very low on money until my next check
-a guy at my job today recognizing me from previous job we worked and chatting with me. he is nice,though he seems vibe-y like he might like me,but he is engaged to another girl i've worked with before.
-inspiration
-makeup
-my beauty
-my strength
-stretches
-coffee
-jelly donuts
-water
-nightskies
-hope
-getting some clarifying shampoo and vitamins i wanted from whole foods the other day

[buttercup]

-my headache being gone
-vitamins
-stretches
-beauty inspirations
-doing an amazing job that i'm very proud of myself for with an anxiety challenge. i'm becoming more and more competant and literally almost don't even my main anxiety issue even more.
-taking the uber to psychiatrist and how amazing it was to do that.i also literally had little to no fear doing it. how nice the uber driver was. he thought i was a student going to school and when i told him i've been out of school for awhile,said i look 18,which was so great.
-M picking me up from psychiatrist which was so great. i'm a firm believer that when you take chances for your growth,the universe rewards that.
-my mood picking up today.
-the psychiatrist fighting for me to get my meds approved and actually being nicer to me today and how nice it was to finally get my meds straightened out since that had been an issue for the last 2-3 weeks. i think all this and anxiety challenge played a part in my mood lifting.psychiatrist was happy with my progress.
-the nice sunny weather
-cats
-getting a check in the mail today
-grapeseed oil and how great it makes my skin look
-yoga pants
-my hips
-my thigh gap
-renting a movie tonight which was nice
-deciding to go ahead and buy the 2nd book psychiatrist had recommended since it's a topic on my mind,and first one ended up growing on me.
-quiet
-starting to feel sexual desire again which is something i've been trying to be aware of since for awhile i've felt apathy
-starting to crave cleaner eating again and eating less
-water
-meditation
-more work offers today
-getting good info about my bank account that i had been wondering about
-adding more money to my setaside savings

[buttercup]

gosh,i am so different from this time last year. life is so different from this time last year.i can hardly believe it. so,so freaking much has changed.
-my meds
-the nightlight in my room
-my difffuser
-movies
-music
-beauty products
-choosing to feel good
-cats
-nightskies
-sunshine
-depositing my check today
-peanut butter cookies
-how nice M's friend D has been to me
-pepsi
-water
-sleep
-new experiences
-positive transformation
-cute top on a shop i decided to order today that'd be perfect for me
-someone asking me to cover their shift again and saying yes since maybe there was a divine reason for it,and it's good for me to get in the habit of working more anyways and this week's not very busy for me.
-seeing the place i work at is offering rooftop yoga again and deciding to put that in my schedule for the week as well
-getting in a good workout today of cycling with weights and yoga.
-self forgiveness
-my strength
-compliments
-getting a lot of positive attention from guys
-M saying I'm the most flexible person in the class which i don't believe at all
-my stomach looking nice and flat and defined today
-beauty role models
-getting caught up on cleaning again
-new perspectives

[buttercup]

-feeling a little less sick
-water
-coca cola
-seeing G again today in another weird(slightly) way. It makes me wonder what connection is there. I was leaving work,and on my phone then look to the side and see him walking out. He didn't turn towards me but he may have seen me before he came out. I remember thinking as I walked out I wonder if he's over there(a certain spot on the first floor)and lo and behold just by that simple thought manifested seeing him(well,the back of him). After this,I was like that's it,I officially do not have a crush on him. This is crazy,he doesn't even come in regularly anymore.I had just been thinking earlier how things had played out like a story,a sequence then just seemed to become interfered. Then,boom,another random sighting of him. I was on my phone so if he did see me that could be another reason for not saying anything to me. And,he may have not seen me. whenever I think there's no way he could like me,and feel insecure,I just remember,there was one time where it was just me there,and he stopped,sat down and talked with me for a few minutes casually and DEFINITELY seemed to be flirting. But,I was so shy and awkward. Every time I start to forget about him,he reappears in such a subtle way that it reminds me of a movie and makes me go hmm. I mean,I don't see anyone ELSE I actually even work with ever outside the building or walking near there and already him TWICE now.
-rest
-friendly people who are nice
-gushers candy
-great uber deals
-doing more uber-ing today even two trips in a row not from home and becoming more and more competant and confident with getting around on my own. I can say with confidence I am growing as a person.
-seeing a sign at the spa that drew me to stop and look and then after seeing it,seeing it definitely had to be a sign of a manifestation I'd like to happen. It was an advertisement with the perfect quote to the manifestation and a symbol having to do with the manifestation that's very obvious.
-M's husband saying out of nowwhere he'll give me more money to help with paying for ubers.
-makeup
-stretches
-cuteness
-getting floor cleaned up in my room that had been a mess for like a week or longer now.
-putting more money in my setaside account
-cats
-lights being out and how relaxing it is
-lavender
-getting through the day(a hard one it was)
-appreciation
-confirming another job today which was so exciting. i have officially met and exceeded my september money goal which is assuring since soon i will have to make much higher goals and i need to know i can reach these little ones to believe i can reach the bigger ones.
-feeling younger and other people making me feel like i look younger then i am
-reflection

[buttercup]

-the nightlight in my room
-adorable pictures of the outside cats
-seeing my brother's cat today and how much that boosted my mood.
-emails from friends
-taking a yoga class tonight
-my eyeglasses
-catching up on sleep a little bit and feeling more well rested and just well today
-my dad giving me $20 today
-water
-coca cola
-M's husband bringing me jelly donuts this afternoon
-my stomach becoming flatter and my clothes looser
-M taking me to starbucks after class since she is going to be out of town for 9 days and thought it'd be a nice thing to do
-music
-intention setting
-letting go of things that hurt me
-grapeseed oil
-lavender
-the diffuser in my room
-beautiful night skies
-the beautiful feeling in the air
-having a lot of things coming up in my schedule
-feeling like my will is becoming stronger
-being a woman
-my venus dimples
-my beauty
-M making me a protein drink tonight
-getting a little work done in new business
-believing in myself a little more,accepting myself a little more
-becoming a little more motivated

[buttercup]

-music
-pinterest
-ashwagandha
-lavender
-water
-coca cola
-my strength
-style
-entertainment
-getting my thing i needed to figure out for next week figured out
-the kittens getting a little more confident around me
-getting a delicious black bean burger and sweet potatoe fries from place M told me about today. Was so good.
-having a job tomorrow for first career which will be nice and checks off a place i always wanted to go to.i notice the more i go out,and live life,the more things i wanted to do just naturally get checked off my list without effort,just pop into my reality.
-jelly donuts
-hot tea
-sleep
-naps
-beauty
-doing some driving today which really boosted my mood.at first,i didn't want to but did it anyways,and felt much better after.i did ok driving. it was a nice secluded hilly area.
-sunshine
-nightskies
-yoga
-my eyeglasses
-my diffuser
-meditating tonight
-my peacock eyepillow

[buttercup]

-music
-my job today and how amazing my hair looks now. very chic.
-checking out a new place and how nice it was
-new experiences and meeting new people. my hairstylist today had makeup on his eyebrows and mascara which was unique. i thought it looked really good. he was from south beach and also had vegan cookies he offered all of us.
-water
-trying cucumber water at my job today
-being inspired by my job today and having those feelings of being intimidated by all the other very pretty girls there again. I feel like it's good for me to have that feeling sometimes.
-stretches
-getting some more things cleaned up
-the vegan pizza i got today tasting good
-getting a new succulent plant that reminds me of the heart chakra
-good face moisturizers
-pinterest
-heels
-sleep
-coffee
-feeling accepted and self acceptance
-my eyeglasses
-beautiful views
-feeling calm in my mind

[buttercup]

-laughing
-neck stretches
-that D's trip is over in a day or so and all is well
-water
-getting a lot done today
-mom cat having her kittens tonight and being able to be there for her. it was a new experience for me to see,and it was beautiful.
-feeling like a '-----" (job from primary career) again
-sleep
-rest
-making another appt with therapist
-getting doctor appt made
-getting new agency signed and confirming a job already with them
-healthy digestion
-getting an email that a check is on it's way from a recent job
-that I have a ride to my interview tomorrow
-music
-style
-pinterest
-positive possibilities
-the internet
-doing some mirror affirmations this afternoon
-getting article completed
-catching up on emails today
-getting more things organized and how good that always feels
-massage
-face yoga
-how amazing my new hair color looks
-smiling
-being in a good mood

[buttercup]

-vanilla oil and how amazing it smells in the diffuser. it may be the best one yet.
-not getting too hurt over awful interviewer's rudeness and words today
-jelly donuts
-coffee
-that their trip is over
-having a really good few days and nice blessings
-M's husband putting $50 in my account
-beauty role models
-great makeup
-doing a little reading today and how good the book is getting
-music
-inspiration
-immersing myself in things i enjoy and want to become more part of
-drinking more water
-getting beauty product drawer cleaned and organized
-getting a lot done today
-having a job cancel and it then working out i ended up getting a job that pays more for the weekend which is even better
-style and fashion
-getting some canned food for the outdoor cats
-getting my purses cleaned out and organized last night
-heart chakra music
-my eyepillow
-meditation
-creativity
-feeling inspired to get a gift for M's brother who has been an inspiration to me before in the past and finding gift ideas
-M's friend D asking about a bike ride this week
-sunshine
-nightskies
-stretches