Thread: GRATITUDE LIST

  1. #731

    Re: GRATITUDE LIST

    -getting my next certificate for the course i've been taking. this one was the hardest yet.
    -getting T cat flyers up on portal
    -yoga pants
    -coffee
    -sleep
    -my beauty
    -t kitten and how cute he is just sleeping
    -cute things cats do
    -my kind heart
    -being productive
    -cute stories
    -animal life and animal connections and observing life
    -vegan ramen noodles
    -deep yoga stretches
    -my class tomorrow
    -my phone
    -blankets
    -my belief starting to get stronger
    -doing some reading today
    -fashion
    -femininity
    -ignoring LE's last message,(i have no idea what it even says),and withdrawing and how great it is to let go. it's made me stop and reflect that maybe i should start waiting until after initial contacts with someone to decide if i feel a connection with someone. maybe that's where my troubles in the past have stemmed from,even.
    -getting someone for a project i want to do
    -ideas
    -accomplishment
    -meeting goals
    -having nice curves
    -pr being happy with my work and promoting it
    -colors
    -entertainment
    -art
    -creativity
    -positive news articles

  2. #732

    Re: GRATITUDE LIST

    -spiritual music
    -hot tea
    -physical exercise
    -dimmer lights
    -getting my next course certificate,since deciding to just cram in the courseload in a night
    -my phone
    -seeing the new pics of me,and that they were not too bad
    -the realization i had before bed last night about letting go
    -self forgiveness
    -my headphones
    -healing my stomach issues
    -chlorophyll
    -sleep
    -my blankets
    -my bed
    -a nice journaling session today
    -coffee
    -T kitten
    -putting up flyers for T cat today
    -marinara sauce
    -dedicating myself to letting go of anger
    -feeling at least twice today,like time was slowing down
    -my beauty
    -having many talents,interests,and accomplishments
    -deep cleansing breaths
    -feeling myself little by little coming back to myself,and embracing inner quiet
    -ideas
    -pictures
    -compliments
    -sweaters
    -my beauty products
    -letting myself feel heart chakra sensations today,it was a sensation of sadness like my heart was broken. i let myself feel it,so i can feel the sadness fully, no matter how "silly" it,so i can truly let go. i let the sadness waves go through me. no need to add words to it,or identify it,but just feel it. i know how i am with guys when i like them. iget attached quick,then when they become jerks,i keep giving them chances. one thing,i've never tried before is this. instead,i usually just chalk it up to normal playing games and think it too early to say bye,and keep thinking of the good.
    -cuteness. that is one thing my life has an abundance of.
    -all the opportunities i get.very recently,just from someone wanting me to be a judge in a beauty paegant,to another person asking me to be on a podcast,and then someone that's a journalist who wants to talk about some things with me,and hear more about it.i said no to the first two,but might consider the last.
    -inspiration
    -taking less naps today
    -

  3. #733

    Re: GRATITUDE LIST

    i think i fear things being out of control. when things are out of control,i feel like a failure. like,i just can't keep it together. when,i have the illusion of things being in control,i feel secure,i feel...slightly stable,i feel ok,like i'm managing. like,i'm ok as a human being,i'm not so bad. i metaphorically feel like i'm falling,losing control,my hands are losing their grip,and i feel shame,but as i'm losing grip,i feel like i'm going to fall,and i'm going to let go,and find that bliss,but right now,my hands are still just starting to lose their grip,and i am just starting to feel the bad feelings of inadequacy for not keeping it all in control,for failing. the feeling is as if i'm on the verge of a panic attack for not being better.

    last night,i felt like i was going crazy,i felt like on the verge of a panic attack. strong feelings of disassociation. feeling like i need to get away. i started looking up meditation retreats. that's partially why i think i wanted to check into a mental hospital those past months. i think i'm looking for a mental vacation,a forced quiet.i feel like i need to do an internet/phone cleanse for a while,and just long quiet/meditation periods. i think maybe that's what my soul is craving.i haven't done that in awhile. when i've done it in the past,i found profound healing,life changing realizations,and my vibration rose very high. i remembered "me." so,this is my next mission.

    today,i missed my class and ate a ton of junk food. i think i've convinced myself before that i need to mess up from time to time,just to feel in balance..as if letting myself mess up a little bit,makes me feel stable,and more likely to do better,i don't know.

    -going to whole foods today. i think just getting out of the house helped my mood a lot.
    -sleep.
    -leggings/yoga pants. my favorite things to wear
    -cats.
    -meditative realizations/insights
    -water
    -coffee
    -sweaters
    -chlorophyll
    -stretches
    -physical exercise
    -the little heater in my room
    -forgiveness
    -getting castings
    -gratitude
    -updating my resume today
    -updating one of my social media pages today
    -doing a little reading
    -doing a little work on the next article. each article becomes me being immersed in the topic of said article. i like it.
    -TV episodes online
    -entertainment
    -music
    -pinterest
    -blankets
    -beauty
    -my hair
    -vacuuming my floor today and M's husband mopping it for me
    -embracing feeling
    -connection
    -my wisdom
    -my goals
    -ideas
    -doing new things
    -new apps for my phone that look interesting
    -kindness
    -started to get more into the idea of the law of attraction again
    -doing a spiritual intentions exercise the other day
    -having a work social this week
    -hot tea
    -lavender
    -style
    -self love and appreciation
    -deep cleansing breaths
    -the internet
    -person i didn't end up meeting with recently wanting to meet this week.
    -getting more flyers put up for S kitten and T cat and going looking for T cat
    -clean clothes
    Last edited by buttercup; 28th February 2017 at 08:53 AM.

  4. #734

    Re: GRATITUDE LIST

    -soda pop
    -water
    -coffee
    -going looking for S kitten today
    -getting a text from someone who possibly saw T cat today
    -quiet
    -the floor in my room
    -TV episodes online
    -entertainment
    -T kitten sleeping right next to me tonight when i wanted to lay down
    -yoga pants/leggings
    -high end designer fashion
    -getting an appointment to see psychiatrist tomorrow
    -unique beauty,and seeing features i have becoming more desirable in the mainstream
    -seeing all the cats except T cat from first litter that's missing and S kitten missing gathered in front of the house. Even dad cat scrambled by for a moment.
    -observing life
    -my goals and desires
    -being easy on myself
    Last edited by buttercup; 1st March 2017 at 07:31 AM.

  5. #735

    Re: GRATITUDE LIST

    i finally read le's message before bed last night. it was nice and normal. so,i responded right away.i still feel like there's a lot of things in sync between him and i.
    -messages from le that i read before bed last night and then tonight.i decided from here on out,i will just respond right away instead of waiting until before bed. this feels more right to me now,more natural.
    -hot guys
    -going to the psychiatrist today. am on all new meds and am starting to despise my psychiatrist. why the heck does he bring up sex things randomly? apparently flowers symbolize sex. wtf.
    -tv episodes online
    -sleep
    -waking up on time.
    -doing my hour long meditation like i had as a goal.
    -water
    -coffee
    -my authenticity
    -cleaning out part of my closet
    -that i am getting a pedicure and manicure tomorrow
    -T kitten laying with me and all the cute things he does.
    -self forgiveness
    -getting a flyer posted up for S kitten
    -cats

  6. #736

    Re: GRATITUDE LIST

    -L.E
    -my fabulous new pedicure and manicure. got a nice spring vacation-y color.
    -working today
    -doing some coloring
    -doing some reading
    -doing some reading
    -getting some work done on current article and feeling close to finished
    -naps
    -uber
    -healthy digestion
    -coffee
    -sugar
    -tofu scramble
    -water
    -T kitten and all the cute pictures i get of him
    -W cat and how cuddly he is
    -cats
    -all the cats i am connected to
    -sweaters
    -drinking more water
    -feeling less tired today
    -makeup
    -confirming a job for an event i wanted to do
    -feeling like i get some things easier then i used to..i think my vibe is higher and certain old blocks are just gone
    -my child-like qualities
    -ideas
    -creativity
    -femininity
    -entertainment
    -upbeat moods
    -my hair
    -observing le's behavior and feeling like he likes me and might be playing games a bit
    -my kind heart
    -music
    -yoga
    -doing 20 minutes of neck stretches
    -hot tea
    -lavender
    -my phone
    -writing down notes for my meeting tomorrow
    -waking up on time today
    -my eyeglasses
    -writing down some affirmations in my journal at work today
    -having healthy teeth
    -beauty
    -my confidence growing
    -sending out more emails for jobs tonight
    -interesting people
    -laughing
    -plants
    -pictures on my phone
    -the fashion industry
    -connection.
    -the feel of the streaming water on my feet at the pedicure place
    -nonconformity
    -taking things one day at a time
    -smiling
    -appreciation
    Last edited by buttercup; 3rd March 2017 at 08:35 AM.

  7. #737

    Re: GRATITUDE LIST

    -kind people. more,and more,i meet such wonderful,kind seeming souls and it is really inspiring.
    -earning money again
    -ideas
    -going to my work social today,even though i didn't want to. things like that are key to growth.
    -the amazing food at my work social. i loved the hummus,pita,and cooked veggies.
    -trying lacroix finally at work social. i had wanted to try it before. it is good.
    -heart chakra and theta musics playlist to listen to
    -uber. i always find the best deals on there over any other ride-sharing app
    -sweaters
    -my alo yoga,yoga pants.i love them.
    -makeup
    -my style
    -my eyes
    -chlorophyll for helping detox my liver and flatten my stomach
    -lavender
    -hot tea
    -cats
    -having next article almost completed and feeling like i'm getting better at writing and more comfortable with it.
    -TV episodes online
    -naps
    -new experiences
    -all the paid jobs for march .if all goes according to plan,this could be my highest earning month ever.
    -entertainment
    -my eyeglasses
    -water
    -coffee
    -sweet soda.
    -deep cleansing breaths
    -meditation
    -getting some flyers made for T cat and S kitten in spanish to try that since my neighborhood and neighborhood S kitten was last in are neighborhoods with a high hispanic population
    -sunshine
    -all the upcoming work projects
    -acccomplishing and manifesting cool things i didn't before
    -T kitten and how much he likes to sleep with me. he has a little habit now of climbing on my chest right in front of laptop these days.
    -M putting more money in my account for me
    -creativity
    -feeling more confident in myself in a very genuine way
    -yoga
    -laughing and funny things. last night,i put on a youtube video of cats meowing for T kitten,and he got startled and jumped off me looking for cats. so funny. lol.
    -all the positive possibilities. i see things with such a creative,photographic eye,that i was even having the thought of buying a camera and getting into professional photography for a hobby.
    -optimism
    -smiling
    -being easy on myself
    -pronoia
    -plants
    -inspiration
    -gaining some new twitter followers
    -manifestation of desires
    -the fashion industry
    -compassion
    -happy stories
    -vegan ramen
    -all my awesome life experiences i've had
    -getting a free cup from my work social today of work logo
    -sleeping cats
    -amazing music that i can find to have a spiritual connection and inspiring even though it's techno music and probably the last thing to be considered that
    -awesome creations
    -possible positive signs
    -the ability to see
    Last edited by buttercup; 4th March 2017 at 06:35 AM.

  8. #738

    Re: GRATITUDE LIST

    -water sounds
    -naps
    -tropical vacation pictures
    -having money
    -naps
    -my stomach being nice and flat
    -chlorophyll working nice for detoxing the liver and flattening my stomach
    -cleaning
    -cats
    -a social media post i made accidentally getting me a lot of likes and comments
    -being proactive
    -newness
    -inspiration
    -going to my meeting today
    -wanderlust
    -places i want to check out
    -fashion
    -pinterest
    -twitter
    -facebook
    -instagram
    -the internet
    -ordering myself a pizza and fries for dinner as a sort of reward for being proactive lately
    -compliments and being flirted with and considered attractive
    -makeup
    -laughing and funny things
    -caring less about what people think these days and how freeing that is
    -person i met up with today offering me a ride home today,which was nice especially since uber wanted to charge me almost $30 for some reason
    -coffee
    --meeting new people and mingling
    -coming home and seeing T kitten right on the front steps waiting for me. it both broke my heart yet was absolute adorable all the same. this guy has definitely made himself a house cat.
    -putting up another flyer near coffee shop for S kitten since it was near the neighborhood she has last been seen
    -life experiences and growing as a person
    -music
    -making my bed and flipping the mattress
    -lavender
    -sweaters
    -the little heater in my room
    -my perfumes
    -positive changes and transformation
    -physical exercise and doing some hip stretches last night and how good it made me feel today
    -the avant-garde
    -my inner confidence growing more and more
    -all the job offers and confirmations lately
    -relaxation
    -the crisis help line
    -my goals and desires
    -my contact today,finding out she already knew of me from my first career and had wanted to work with me before on that which was interesting. once i seen her,i got the strange feeling she may have knew more about me then i thought and then she revealed she had asked her boyfriend if she should tell me if she already knew of me or not or if that would be weird so that was interesting.
    -compassion
    -being able to see
    -sunshine
    -self forgiveness
    -deep cleansing breaths
    -cuteness
    -love
    -learning
    -femininity
    -facial exercises
    Last edited by buttercup; 5th March 2017 at 09:25 AM.

  9. #739

    Re: GRATITUDE LIST

    -cats
    -chocolates
    -going to whole foods shopping today
    -the weather feeling really nice and fresh some parts of the day
    -my prada candy perfume. i think this is my most favorite perfume.
    -meditating for an hour today. having lots of really great meditative insights starting to come to me after during and in between some visualization sessions
    -letting myself feel my feelings. cried several times during and after meditation.
    -water
    -coffee
    -sleep
    -being attractive
    -unique beauty
    -music
    -art
    -creativity
    -music
    -having a casting tomorrow
    -M agreeing to go to a movie i suggested that i seen a preview for and thought looked interesting
    -having great taste in things and style
    -doing some work on the website for 2nd business and updating it
    -adding more money to my savings
    -authenticity
    -buying some lacroix which maybe can be something to help me quit soda
    -cuteness
    -beauty
    -fashion
    -deciding to go to the gym with M and getting a nice sweat from doing the stairmaster
    -deciding to take an extra inderal after a phobia of mine being mentioned and feeling like that was the magic amount,it's the first time since starting that med,that i actually felt a difference.
    -hamstring stretches
    -ab exercises
    -laughing and my sense of humor,and funny things
    -deep cleansing breaths
    -cute clothes
    -positive changes
    -hot guys
    -life experiences and growing as a person
    -my phone
    -TV episodes online
    Last edited by buttercup; 6th March 2017 at 07:27 AM.

  10. #740

    Re: GRATITUDE LIST

    Had a raging panic attack in the early evening. Had slept all day and missed the thing I had to go to today. I felt angry and on edge,but not sure why i was so angry. I just felt so stuck. I couldn't stop crying and shaking. M's husband heard me and came in and talked with me,and prayed and then gave me a pill of some sort. I deactivated one of my social medias for awhile. I started to feel better shortly after. I think I just needed to give myself a break. Shortly after,I felt calm,upbeat,and things started to feel kind of clear..and new.
    -M's husband coming in and helping me.
    -calming down and mood changing to feeling clearer,and calmer,and more upbeat
    -getting that time of the month
    -massage. the more i pay attention to my body,it's just strange. my hands and feet had so much tension i noticed tonight,i wonder if perhaps,it's the emotions of earlier made them tense.
    -vegan ramen
    -deactivating one of my social medias
    -water
    -sweet soda
    -ease
    -backbends
    -deep cleansing breaths
    -the meditative insights from last night
    -entertainment
    -the internet
    -music
    -thinking positive
    -fashion and style and lots of nice looking things online
    -pinterest
    -very nice weather today and how great the air felt
    -job possibilities
    -allowing myself to think more and more about the possibilities of being in a romantic relationship again in my life and how nice that would be when it happens
    -yoga pants
    -self forgiveness
    -medications i took today.
    -an interesting and educational article i read tonight
    -cleaning up and organizing my closet some more
    -inspiration
    -starting the next course from the course package i bought online back in january
    -my tastes in things
    -the things i want to do for fun
    -acceptance
    -surrender
    -reserving another class from the class pack i bought in december
    -embracing and allowing imperfection
    -cats
    -buying 3 bags of cat litter and sending to my mom
    -art
    -fashion photography
    -my eyecolor
    -my beauty
    -unique beauty
    -hairties and my hair barrette
    -drinking more water today
    -clarity
    -having nice teeth
    -my lower body getting nice and sculpted and toned from hamstring work
    Last edited by buttercup; 7th March 2017 at 08:31 AM.

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