GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-pills to boost mood/calm down
-water
-TV episodes online
-naps
-crisis hotlines
-doing some reading today
-emailing the animal communicator
-dental bonding
-H cat sounding better today
-T cat that is the mom making me laugh when i kept shouting for T kitten to come and everytime i did,she came over by me to be petted. I realized she associates shouting like that for calling for any cat so she looked pretty confused when she was right by me and i pet her and still kept shouting. To see her keep coming back like that was hilarious.
-my phone
-reassuring web links
-the internet
-night skies
-almond milk
-buying a book about charisma that drew my attention by having a peacock on the cover
-chocolate
-hazlenut almond milk iced lattes with extra sugar
-healthy digestion
-believing in positive
-great quotes
-art
-yoga pants
-sunshine
-seeing the cat again that is not dad cat and is maybe S kitten
-hope
-practicing mental influence
-purchasing a life coaching/hypnotherapy session that caught my eye

[buttercup]

started reading the power,and once i got to this sentence about life not meant where moments of joy are few and far between i wanted to start crying. if that's the case,then why is that my life?
-staying strong. yesterday,i had on and off anxiety filled depressive breakdowns and was pretty much crying all day. I'm trying harder now though to keep my vibe high.
-finishing my book on mental influence and starting the power
-chocolate cake
-the sunshine. felt so good today,i thought i should just start meditating outside again. those always were my best meditations.
-practicing mental influence
-coffee
-soda
-healthy digestion
-friendly neighbors
-animal lovers
-talking to friendly neighbors while looking for T kitten who said they feed and care for a bunch of outdoor cats,too and that they'll keep an eye out for him
-feeling in my gut that T kitten is well and nobody tried to bring them in their house.
-seeing again the cat that isn't dad and the cat allowing itself to be closer. this cat likes to be really close to E cat. From the back and side the cat definitely looks like s kitten,but so far im not sure about the face
-online forums who talk about how they've had cats go missing for days,weeks,and even years and come back like nothing and reading again how people in europe think it's weird how americans think it's cruel to keep your outdoors and that in europe it's more the norm for cats to be outdoor
-getting the lysine treats in the mail for H cat and some homepathic medicine to try for him
-my new eye in a triangle shirt
-wearing my new glitter pool slides. i keep buying things then never wearing them so figured i should start.
-quiet
-sertraline
-sleep
-pills that calm me down
-doing some stuyding and getting through 2 lessons so far
-my beauty
-my agelessness
-stretches. my body felt awful from not doing anything to work it out yesterday
-my phone
-seeing a contributor got an article done for me
-feeling my third eye lately being activated. i'm getting the hunch to start spending more time on that chakra since i feel like i use it a lot when practicing mental influence. i start to yawn and get twitches in my forehead.
-the fan in my room
-deciding to take the lesson that as much as i care for the cats,and want them in my life,i care-take for them in a worrying way still and need to let go of that.
-touch
-the feeling of my feet with no shoes and socks on
-yoga pants
-organically altering beliefs that dont feel good to keep. today,i found myself trying to shift the belief that anyone has any power over me or can create in my reality.
-eye stretches
-deciding to change how i do my savings to simplify it
-getting a call for some work.i decided i don't want to do it but i don't think it'd be wrong for someone to do it with my beliefs if they felt they really needed to take it. it has to do with meat and i dont like being around meat but if i felt really desperate for the work,i don't think it'd be morally wrong to do it,because the more financial abundance you have,the more you can help animals anyways. i just think i can find something else,and more fitting instead.
-deep cleansing breaths
-taking care of myself
-seeing reality changes already. M's husband uses the word might now in regards to a situation instead of calling it a certainty now.
-TV episodes online
-getting caught up on my phone calls
-getting my health insurance switched
-getting my psychiatrist appointment bumped up for tomorrow
-getting my appointment for my chemical peel made
-my glycolic eyecream
-getting some exercise from going around looking for T kitten

[buttercup]

-TV episodes online
-getting prescribed benzos today
-talking to a psychic today and getting clear info on T kitten and where he is at and what to do. She said he's alive. she thinks he may be my cat soul connection who passed on in 2014. after she passed on,i had a dream of someone giving me a gray cat,and T kitten is gray.
-feeling relief today for some reason.
-nourishment
-self appreciation
-getting the bed cleared
-the pet psychic believing in the law of attraction and telling me to allow T kitten back and visualize it.
-my eyeglasses
-my beauty
-the beautiful,intoxicating weather today.
-sunshine
-nightskies
-getting my lavender and ashwagandha herbal medicinals in the mail today
-sending out emails for jobs today
-the skinny cat who looks like S kitten letting me come closer. who is this cat who hangs with our cats and looks just like S kitten?
-getting my pacifica nail color in the mail
-feeling like reality is more malleable lately
-social media
-sky gazing
-getting letter to M about 60% done
-warm showers
-bare feet
-touch
-the cats liking the lysine chews i bought
-my chocolates that came in the mail
-blueberry waffles
-spices
-plant based foods
-doing some reading of the powe
-feeling my faith growing and my vibe raising

[buttercup]

-My T kitten returning. It was amazing. The whole moment felt mundane as I opened the door and just like my lucid dream was checking was it really him. As soon as i was i was so excited that I woke up M's husband who came to see him and even brought him and he told his wife. This was such a relief to have my baby back. His collar was missing and he had a cut on his ear but he's been very cuddly and like himself. We spent lots of cuddling time today and I stayed out with them all for awhile last night. I have been in such a good mood ever since. I can see how i used the loa to allow him in. My desire was strong,then my vibe got high and I let go. I almost started to try when I seen him and I hugged him so much and said im sorry.I remember thinking as i was detaching that i felt myself wonder should i stop and i reminded myself no,this is a good thing,it means he's really close to being here.I also remember really surrendering and accepting which gave me a place of power.
-ordering new collars for T kitten and a tag for T kitten and H cat.
-that my T cat pillow is almost finished
-benzodiazepines. I cant help but wonder if these helped me manifest by getting my mind to calm so i can detach.
-sertraline
-camel pose
-back bends
-water
-seeing my T kitten killed and was eating a bird. Not that i'm happy about the bird's passing on but i like seeing that my little kitten is growing up and doing well with cat things.
-yoga pants
-all the beautiful sunshine
-warmth
-my bed
-blankets
-how high my vibe has been
-feeling stronger in my ability with how malleable reality is
-nightskies
-blueberry waffles
-deep cleansing breaths
-ice cold soda
-dental floss
-making my bed
-TV episodes online
-having nice lips
-self appreciation
-slowness
-my eyeglasses
-my beauty
-inspiration
-

[buttercup]

-lots of cuddle time with T kitten ever since he's been back on his little adventure. We even napped together for a bit tonight. He seems likes such a big boy lately.
-feeling so calm.i feel such a sense of relief overall,like everything is going to be alright with life
-lorazapam
-sertraline
-the beautiful weather today
-doing some more reading of the power
-letting out my desires in a way that felt calm,unneedy
-clean bed
-lavender
-water
-rosemary oil
-TV episodes online
-confirming another job today
-feeling like i have plenty of time
-doing more studying today
-apricot bread
-my beauty
-candy
-dental floss
-having a good dentist i can go to now
-nightskies
-my outdoor cats
-healthy digestion
-blankets
-going to sleep early last night
-meditation
-prayer
-letting go
-detachment
-gratitude-
-everything feeling easier now,like it's easy to just change the story.

[buttercup]

-feeling so relaxed lately
-squats
-water
-my T kitten. I adore him and am so glad things are back to normal.
-how high my vibe has been. everything good feels like it's already done and on the way and i just feel blase about anything negative and confident i'll shift it
-opportunities flowing in
-my pca skin facial wash
-naps
-TV episodes online
-going with M's husband to pick up sodas since we couldn't do our bike ride since it rained.
-getting another post up on my business's site which was good to focus on something different. even though i am contemplating ending it in december,i want to try a few more things first if i do.
-deciding to play with doing a google ad for business website. it looked good and made me happy
-happiness
-playing an emotion game the other day where for 10 seconds i let myself get really excited.i want to start playing with this more.
-doing some reading today
-the power book
-black leggings
-throwing some old things out
-plants
-music
-confirming 3 paid jobs today and from an agency that had seemed stagnant lately
-feeling like time is on my side
-the fan in my room
-work colleague wanting to do an interview feature on me which actually sounds perfect as i've been wanting an opportunity like that to come up
-assertiveness
-kindness
-chips
-that this month has been pretty filled with paid work
-lorazapam
-seeing the inner shift on the problem from 2 weeks ago,based on words even used by M's husband
-being 70% done with letter to M
-sertraline
-laughing
-stretching
-smiling
-cute pictures of me and T kitten
-motivation
-dental floss
-the homeopathic medicine i've been using on H cat

[buttercup]

-strawberrry cupcakes
-naps
-lorazapam
-someone asking me to dinner that i might say yes to
-meditation
-feeling more confident
-TV episodes online
-T kitten
-all my outdoor cats
-M's husband seeming to think i can change things
-sweet soda
-heels
-makeup
-my beauty
-music
-having a baby-face young look
-uber
-my strength
-being smart
-music
-inspiration
-water
-coffee
-feeling filled with life again
-feeling calm and like all will be ok
-mikes strawberry hard lemonade
-yoga
-my black ruffle socks
-fashion

[buttercup]

-TV episodes online
-feeling relaxed
-going for a 20 minute bike ride today
-deciding to exchange numbers with someone from bumble app and it going ok so far. he seems genuine ans suggested we go to dinner and that we talk on the phone
-doing my jobs today
-lorazapam. i feel like this drug has changed my life.i feel so much more confident,calm yet alive on this.
-fashion
-spending sometime with T kitten in the room this morning. M's husband brought him in.
-M's husband hinting there is something with M I don't know that has to do with me and her and why she was the way she was two weeks ago.
-M's husband giving me a ride to work today
-getting chipotle for dinner today
-the great weather today
-nightskies
-the homeopathic medicine i bought for H catseeming to work
-seeing M's sister and her seeming happy to see me and saying to come by again soon
-feeling beautiful
-water
-coffee
-chocolate cake
-sweet soda
-pinterest
-a new article up on business site of mine
-quiet
-my ambition
-the power book by rhonda byrne
-midol
-my escentric 02 perfume
-stretches
-trying to keep my vibe high
-surrender and slowness
-makeup
-heels
-having a baby face
-inspiration

[buttercup]

-feeling so much calmer,safer,and more alive. lorazapam has changed my life.
-lorazapam
-talking on and off all day yesterday with someone from bumble app who seems nice and genuine. he texted me this morning a few times,too.
-TV episodes online
-entertainment
-rock music
-cold coca cola
-chips
-feeling very relaxed
-the fashion industry
-stretching
-pretty much laying in bed all day and how good that felt
-beauty
-ideas
-warm showers
-cats
-getting the id tags in the mail for H cat and T kitten
-being 90% done with letter to M
-spending some napping/cuddle time with T kitten
-doing some reading
-doing some studying
-seeing the loa at work
-night skies

[buttercup]

-toothpaste
-finishing the letter to M
-taking lorazapam
-talking on the phone with B from bumble app. it made me feel more connected which is nice. i'm still not sure what i think of him though but it did feel nice to talk on the phone
-feeling calm and relaxed
-hip openers
-water
-TV episodes online
-my beauty
-having a baby face
-having a model face
-starting to take mini videos of the cats and me and enjoying how things appear in moving camera
-chocolate
-rest
-naps
-cuddle time with T kitten
-nightskies
-socks
-doing some more reading of the power
-my eyeglasses
-the supplements i take
-fashion
-music