GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-feeling so much calmer,safer,and more alive. lorazapam has changed my life.
-lorazapam
-talking on and off all day yesterday with someone from bumble app who seems nice and genuine. he texted me this morning a few times,too.
-TV episodes online
-entertainment
-rock music
-cold coca cola
-chips
-feeling very relaxed
-the fashion industry
-stretching
-pretty much laying in bed all day and how good that felt
-beauty
-ideas
-warm showers
-cats
-getting the id tags in the mail for H cat and T kitten
-being 90% done with letter to M
-spending some napping/cuddle time with T kitten
-doing some reading
-doing some studying
-seeing the loa at work
-night skies

[buttercup]

-toothpaste
-finishing the letter to M
-taking lorazapam
-talking on the phone with B from bumble app. it made me feel more connected which is nice. i'm still not sure what i think of him though but it did feel nice to talk on the phone
-feeling calm and relaxed
-hip openers
-water
-TV episodes online
-my beauty
-having a baby face
-having a model face
-starting to take mini videos of the cats and me and enjoying how things appear in moving camera
-chocolate
-rest
-naps
-cuddle time with T kitten
-nightskies
-socks
-doing some more reading of the power
-my eyeglasses
-the supplements i take
-fashion
-music

[buttercup]

-lorazapam
-spending quality cuddle time with T kitten
-my strength
-leaving the letter to M on her kitchen table
-iced almond milk hazelnut latte and chocolate donuts
-the power by rhonda byrne
-my bed
-my blankets
-rest
-naps
-doing 20 minutes on the rebounder and getting a little bit of a sweat in. so glad i found another workout option
-feeling safe and like all is well
-texting more with B today though it's odd how small of a world it is. i think he was in my facebook friends list a long time ago,and he's currently in my linked in list.
-squats
-hip openers
-having a young face
-having a cute voice
-playing around taking more videos of me and T kitten and how well they actually came out
-my phone
-the internet
-inspiration
-beauty
-how white my teeth are
-my jobs coming up this weekend
-TV episodes online
-finding a card that seemed perfect for M's husband that i ordered
-socks
-dental floss

[buttercup]

-lorazapam
-twitter
-buying some balloons i felt drawn towards off etsy
-talking again to B from bumble in text then on the phone.i can feel a connection growing. he keeps saying i'm too cute and a sweetheart and that he looks forward to getting to know me. we also followed each other on instagram today
-my T kitten.
-all my outdoor cats and the possibility that S kitten is nearby
-TV episodes online
-feeling in an upbeat mood today
-going for a bike ride today
-my body feeling nice and strong
-yoga pants
-kit kat bars
-laughing
-reading more of the power
-feeling my vibe being higher
-doing more studying
-beauty
-having a baby face look
-coffee
-sweet soda
-water
-feeling more confident
-music
-sweeping my floor
-sunshine and warmth
-nightskies
-the feeling of aliveness
-having nice lips
-having bright white teeth
-warm showers
-clorox wipes
-blankets
-my bed
-rest
-lots of money coming in soon
-having natural flexibility
-working on changing my thoughts to peace ones
-positive changes and evolving

[buttercup]

had a quarter life crisis before bed and felt emotional/depressed during the early part of the day.
-tissues
-socks
-lorazapam
-physical exercise
-doing some rebounding and working up a sweat
-still talking to B daily
-my eyeglasses
-ordering pizza for dinner with M's husband
-making another appointment to get a bonding done before the month is over
-my style
-not working until tomorrow night
-soda pop
-water
-coffee
-M's husband telling me there's a cinnamon bagel in the fridge for breakfast when i woke up
-yoga pants
-TV episodes online
-cuddle time with T kitten. First he went in his little spot at the back of the bed,then he came closer and his was right by my head. so cute. wish i could've taken a picture.
-cute pictures i get of the cats. today,i got T kitten chilling in the dog house we put straw in and altered and he looked very cozy.
-my phone
-high vibes
-the homeopathic medicine i've been putting in the cat water and it seeming to help H cat a little
-my beauty
-having an ageless face
-rest
-my bed
-reading more of the power
-doing more studying
-dental floss
-night skies
-more opportunities for money coming in to make june a lucrative earning month
-taking things one day at a time
-feeling more confidence about my teeth since getting bonded done
-seeing an instagram pic gif that said to take a screenshot and whatever you get is your message which was fiting for me. to let go of frustration and be patient.

[buttercup]

-my beauty
-makeup
-my life picking up just a little bit socially
-talking to B from bumble everyday this week
-lorazapam
-meditation
-feeling like a very attractive girl
-doing some rebounding today and how good it feels to move my body
-band-aids
-TV episodes online
-coca cola
-M's husband bringing me to my job today
-fashion
-the girl i worked with today being very cool and offering me a ride home since im on the way and saying we can be friends and hang out and giving me her phone number. we had a lot in common and she even goes to clubs,too. so,i made a new friend today.
-seeing T kitten play
-detachment
-seeing all my cats play
-sunshine
-flowers
-greenery
-social media
-nightskies
-becoming more confident and independent,learning,and growing
-playing with mental influence
-food
-iced almond milk hazelnut latte with chocolate donuts
-buying myself a new party dress to treat myself for feeling down and celebrating abundance i'm choosing to increase
-getting another check in the mail today
-inspiration
-having a job for primary career tomorrow
-playing with inducing excitement feelings
-rest
-naps
-heels

[buttercup]

-feeling like a model
-getting more comfortable in my body again
-lorazapam
-creativity
-doing some more reading on this book about charisma that i'm liking so far
-having a nice body
-having nice lips
-beauty
-inspiration
-great advice
-phone calls and texts with B
-my outdoor cats
-doing some studying
-nourishment
-tea
-ginger candies
-water
-coffee
-soda pop
-chocolate mousse cake
-my strength
-TV episodes online
-practicing being present today and enjoying the sounds going on around me and the greenery
-going to new places
-great skin creams
-toothpaste
-yoga
-seeing T kitten enjoy his outdoor house
-heels
-naps
-my bed
-my accomplishments
-increasing my money beliefs and abundance more and more
-unblocking old limiting beliefs
-a big influx of money about to come in
-building up my savings
-my confidence
-my progress i've made since this time last year
-my kind heart
-hearing M mention my name tonight while i was drifting to sleep. another sign of things maybe starting to become very slowly normal
-being smart
-the diffuser nightlight in my room
-uber
-great uber deals
-cat cuddles

[buttercup]

well me and B ended before we began. We got into an argument this last night then this morning,he said he isnt interested in me anymore. then we kept talking and he said he was sorry and wrong for everything and we talked normal but never did go to our plans. he called me to chat and during said something about waiting a few weeks to meet up so we can get to know each other better then being in a relationship a few months after that. it was off putting and after thinking abut it i told him no. I can put him in the friend box,i could always use a new friend but that won't change then. he said multiple times i'm very special and he's looking forward to getting to know me and sent me a disney meme saying i'll never have a friend quite like him. I don't know how so easily this could happen but uncle says it sounds like he gave up too easily and wants to play the field now so i texted him that i think it sounds fishy this whole wait a few weeks thing. Last night he was talking about how he felt lonely and was very chatty with me. Everything is odd. He has said i'm very beautiful and he's flattered to talk on the phone to such a beautiful girl. Well,my heart feels a little empty but mostly i'm just irritated that this is modern dating.
-spending some time laying out on the sun in the yard and how relaxing that was
-T kitten
-wearing some of my new clothes to feel good. i love my new wildfox sweater. it looks great. and my gucci slides
-my dolce&gabbana slides
-T cat spending a lot of time with me in the yard
-all my outdoor cats
-reading some of my rituals magazine outside in the yard
-bananas
-makeup and that i seem to be getting better at applying it
-TV episodes online
-lorazapam
-yoga
-having nice lehs
-M buying me a catpuccino tote bag while she was out shopping.i guess that's some progress with her treating me better and me shifting this situation.
-my bed
-naps
-rest
-socks
-chocolate mousse cake
-m's husband buying me chipotle for dinner
-yoga mats
-cuddle time with T kitten
-ice cold water
-H cat sounding better
-makeup
-having a young look
-my conviction
-graphic design

[buttercup]

one day no talking to B. I guess that's the first day since we started chatting. i had started to feel a connection to him so it's a bummer. and,i'm tired of passive agressive hate comments people make in general.
-getting all the top teeth i wanted bonded done today and dentist willing to do bottoms too but we decided to follow that up with another appointment. i love going to this dentist.
-lorazapam
-cuddle time with T kitten
-warning time to sneak him out of the window because M came home early for some reason
-freedom
-uber
-feeling more attractive about my teeth
-naps and rest
-finding out i may be published in another magazine soon
-coffee
-calmness
-TV episodes online
-yoga
-compliments
-water
-having a nice body
-doing some studying
-the book i've been reading and how good it's been. it's given me some ideas on even writing a letter(not send) to an enemy to change my reality
-bananas
-chocolate mousse cake
-coca cola
-my teddy bear hair brush
-my prada candy perfume
-getting my new insurance card
-the sky
-makeup
-the construction pop-up card i got for M's husband coming in the mail today
-seeing H cat and T kitten sleeping together in the same doghouse straw shelter. usually they each take their separate so it was cute they were probably cuddling.
-my bed
-blankets
-

[buttercup]

-finding out i'm going to be in a publication in scotland. i am officially international.
-seeing beautiful pictures of myself
-rags
-B and I talking again. I texted him and he apologized a lot and we talked all day. It was nice.
-getting more organic chemical peel today
-nice spaces
-great uber prices
-becoming better at being assertive and communicative
-doing some great journaling last night working more on clearing an old limiting belief which is kind of funny considering the manifestaton i had today after that
-rest
-sunshine
-cuddle time with T kitten. he took off his damn collar again. when we cuddle he looks like he is so happy and in bliss.
-doing some studying and being almost done with the powerpoint
-getting my new insurance packet in the mail
-coffee
-M putting $50 in my account
-water
-lorazapam
-just feeling calmer and more confident since being on lorazapam
-doing some rebounding and getting a sweat in and how good that feels
-style and fashion
-doing more decluttering last night
-the apricot bread i've been eating today.i can only eat light and this works fine when i toast it
-quiet
-nightskies
-opportunities
-pinterest
-the law of attraction becoming a little easier again
-TV episodes online
-coca cola
-feeling more confident about my looks
-my clothes fitting looser
-umcka
-my ysl lipstick
-my teddy bear hairbrush
-seeing what i could've sworn was a pig on the way home. was so cool and bizarre. i just googled pig symbolism and it says ferility. i DID see the pig right after talking about how we feel about kids with B. Very odd. I was the one saying i don't want kids and he said he does and he asked why not and i said i'd consider it if person im with really wanted them
-being in a pretty good mood all day
-beauty
-my lips
-my teeth
-music