GRATITUDE LIST

[buttercup]

-coffee
-being cute
-D and how amazing he's been. so grateful for my angel. he is perfect.
-cinnamon french toast sticks and banana syrup
-music
-how beautiful my new lips look
-connecting with people through facebook messages and how good that feels
-letting myself cry and release
-feeling
-money always finding a way to work itself out
-being beautiful
-jaguars
-kindness and support from others
-getting my house cleaned
-doing things a little differently sometimes
-my kind heart
-that my new credit card will be here anyday and that it's pink
-my accomplishments and the cool things i've done in life
-being smart
-my creativity
-having my own apartment
-having romance and companionship in my life
-cats
-spirituality
-memories
-pictures
-my triloka root chakra incense. so grounding.
-blankets
-the laundry machines in the unit
-beautiful design
-being productive
-my eyeglasses
-fashion
-being appreciated
-shopping
-sending holiday cards to business associates
-trees
-lorazapam
-water
-smiling
-laughing at life
-physical exercise
-walking
-busses
-yoga
-evolving myself
-that my gucci belt was found
-how much i've grown as a person
-my leopard coat
-reading
-learning
-feeling
-the internet
-my apartment
-having a warm apartment
-aspiring to better myself
-art
-beauty
-savoring
-seeing the beauty of the law of attraction work in wonderful ways
-making efforts
-my hyaluronic acid boosting serum
-having a nice face
-looking way younger then my age
-my growing confidence again
-supplements and vitamins
-feeling positive
-creating
-healing

[buttercup]

-my angel coming by last night. things moved faster then i had wanted but emotionally as well. at the end he even kept talking about timing and big decisions next year and implying i could be a reason he would stay living here. it is interesting timing on my end, too.
-working today and the sunshine
-being flirted with
-being attractive
-my new lip injections
-my leopard coat
-my new prada pink sunglasses
-makeup
-M's husband fixing my tub
-working for great brands
-candy
-coffee
-sunshine
-having fun drinking, and smoking weed with my angel last night
-how take control my angel is
-smiling
-laughing
-getting attention
-relaxation
-feeling connection
-music
-cash app
-sleep
-shopping
-getting things cleaned and organized
-feeling ready for fun
-my new credit card on it's way
-my few checks about to come in
-entertainment
-colors
-art
-inspiration
-feeling my feelings
-touch
-my touched up hair color
-diet dr.pepper
-cookies
-physical exercise
-nourishing myself and trying to be good to me

[buttercup]

today,i am crying and missing J so much feeling like he was the human love of my life. it's the first time since the last abuse i felt the feeling of missing him and wanting him back. i was crying over T cat too this morning.
-m's husband fixing my bathtub
-sunshine
-getting my new pink discover credit card
-getting all my jobs finished yesterday
-buying my new gucci purse
-buying makeup i had my eye on for a bit
-getting my breast ultrasound done and all being healthy and well
-cats
-my jaguar necklace
-looking very young
-my beauty
-banana syrup
-having fun in my life
-newness
-my hyaluronic acid boosting serum
-fashion
-taking actions
-lorazapam
-getting a bumped up psychiatrist appointment
-great deals
-having great hair
-my fitness pole
-my creativity
-the sky
-my leopard coat
-my lips
-trees
-feelings my feelings
-music
-art
-expanding myself as a person
-being smart
-calmness
-evolving
-finishing up my finance book
-femininity
-beauty
-hot guys
-inspiration
-my pink prada sunglasses
-having nice cheekbones
-making efforts to better myself
-laughter and humor
-cleaning more of my apartment
-m's husband giving me a ride to my jobs and from hospital yesterday
-colors
-my eye for talent and design
-cuteness
-hugs
-goals
-entertainment

[buttercup]

-my full lips
-people to help me out when my account goes negative
-getting a higher dose of lorazapam
-feeling more calm minded
-coffee
-sunshine
-craving healthy, healing things
-warm showers
-good skincare products
-my new credit card
-creativity
-ideas
-being smart
-the magazine i've been reading
-the rent check clearing
-the new book i got that i started reading
-meditation
-triloka incense
-hot tea
-water
-cleaning and organizing my kitchen shelves
-sportsbras
-my leopard coat
-physical exercise
-blue jeans
-my sense of style
-having beautiful eyes
-the new experiences i get to have in my life
-having a solid liquor collection from work
-technology
-it being that time of the month
-having a warm apartment
-having a lot to look forward to
-releasing my apathy
-feeling my feelings
-pinterest
-pictures
-my phone
-being productive
-reflection
-sleep
-comfort
-compliments
-having beautiful hair

[buttercup]

-my friend D and him saying we can cuddle and do fun things and i can call him daddy
-feeling more confident about the court case
-sleep
-m's husband giving me a hydrocodone because he had no ibuprofen in the car
-coffee
-m's husband taking me for coffee and for breakfast this morning
-m's husband giving me $100 cash for christmas
-being loving
-m's husband giving me beautiful christmas flowers last night and taking me out to eat last night
-getting my gucci purse in the mail last night!!
-incense
-meditating this morning
-my sense of style that is very nyc and hollywood
-my pink discover card
-having nice boobs
-my jaguar necklace
-always getting what i want
-my pink prada sunglasses
-the internet
-hoodies
-my leopard coat
-mild winter weather
-feeling my feelings
-feeling more free with J gone
-preparing myself for the court case with lots of research, procuring documents,and talking to lots of people and writing notes
-getting another work recap done
-having 20%of my saks card balance paid off
-goals
-transforming myself
-deep stretches
-shopping
-water
-sunshine
-social media
-my beauty
-makeup
-calmness
-cleaning things and getting things organized
-fun
-having a lot of work coming up next month
-laughing at life
-being able to have my balcony door open a bit
-having had sex with D
-being nice to people
-newness
-the image from one of my recent shoots being retouched from original photographer turning out really well before even needing to source it out
-beautiful modeling photos of me
-getting paid yesterday
-music
-motivation
-my money being ok so far
-my credit score rising even more
-compliments
-rest
-nourishing my spiritual side
-physical exercise
-self acceptance
-naps
-lorazapam
-books
-learning
-having a unique life
-prayer
-non-rushing
-surrender
-getting another recap done this morning
-warm showers
-bananas
-smiling
-my child-like side
-looking much younger then my real age
-having beautiful hair
-having beautiful eyes
-my health being so much better then it was in october
-cuteness
-cats
-animals
-diet dr.pepper
-ideas
-colors
-greenery

[lord.of.the.now]

it's your ego that interfering with abandoning this online community. It's not worth separating you from it, there is allot to gain here on this forum

It would be a loss to not have you here

Honestly getting a post deleted is not worth the drama honestly not really a big deal

[MondEgo]

You are right, lord of the now. It's not a big deal, I indeed have a big ego...but this "list" is really becoming annoying.

[buttercup]

You are right, lord of the now. It's not a big deal, I indeed have a big ego...but this "list" is really becoming annoying.

That it is so annoying to you and that you focus so much on it suggests to me that you fill your life with some more exciting activities and focus less on some member on a forum who you have no idea who they even are. You are focused on an imaginary person yourself and getting aggravated. Go play some videogames.

[buttercup]

-D still talking to me daily
-m's husband being relatively nicer to me
-fashion
-finishing my recaps
-coffee
-my pills
-naps
-great skincare products
-caring people
-exchanging phone numbers with an old supporter and contact of mine
-my christmas flowers
-going for a nice walk yesterday and today
-sunshine
-water
-jeans getting a little loser today
-stretches self empowerment
-sounding much younger then my age to the point that people think i sound like a child without even trying
-talking to mental health clinic today
-getting lots of advice from law industry fb friend
-beauty
-my eyes
-my lips
-warm showers
-being considered very attractive
-feeling feelings of aliveness and freedom again
-cats
-makeup
-my leopard coat
-my pastel rain boots
-calmness
-m's husband buying me more handwarmers
-having goals
-reading
-being somewhat productive today
-my pink discover card
-my creativity
-my kind heartedness
-feeling my feelings
-my lower body getting tighter

[buttercup]

-sleep
-shopping
-learning
-growing as a person
-reading about miracles
-having money
-cash app
-my eyeglasses
-getting things done for the court case
-my beauty
-my lips
-great deals
-my sense of style
-my new gucci purchases
-fashion
-being smart
-my phone
-my creativity
-the internet
-reading
-music
-meditation
-guys thinking i have a great lower body
-my coffee maker
-adding a little more exercise in my day
-everybody thinking im way younger then my age on the phone and in person
-helpful people
-my last health tests going well
-getting my primary doctor to prescribe my baby aspirin for my raynauds
-gin gins
-water
-hyaluronic acid
-lorazapam
-the amazing photo the last photographer i worked with sent me
-being brave and strong
-feeling my feelings
-yoga pants
-seeing how much the cats love their cat house
-tommy cat memories
-having a beautiful face
-buying a new eye cream from a new indie brand i seen advertised on instagram
-feeling free and being creative after months of not being creative while with J
-coffee
-cookies
-trying new things
-all the effort's m's husband makes to make the cats happy
-makeup
-m's husband finding my mascara that had been missing for a few days
-being assertive when needed
-colors
-inspiration
-physical exericise and exercise
-cute socks
-clean clothes
-clean towels
-leg warmers
-blankets
-being able to see and have eyesight
-pillows
-comfort
-goals
my pink discover credit card
-kindness from others
-clarity in mind increasing lately
-animal advocacy and those who help the cause
-cuteness
-entertainment
-yoga
-being able to work tomorrow
-all the jobs i have so far for january
-my new overdraft protection from the bank
-all the proofs i have of J to get the order lifted
-flowers
-plants
-daytime
-letting go
-working on my personality
-self improvement
-protein bars
-working in the industries i do
-the air purifier in my living room
-the balcony in my living room
-newness
-my ambition