About suicide

**arundios** · 9th March 2015, 11:08 AM

Originally Posted by Frater.Akenu

How long can we fight before we give up? The question rather is, should we give up at all? And give up what, so to speak? I myself wasn't really ever a popular kid and the only reason I got a girlfriend when I was 18 was that I stopped victimizing myself and why people don't love me, I simply chose a path and become something I wanted out of myself. I chose my path and developed a character. Originally people didn't like me because I was weak, I wanted friends and family so much that I agreed with everything everyone said. After that I made a clear stances, now people hate me because I disagree with them and I can argue about it. It is said that a person with no enemies has no personality. It is also said that the greatness of the person can be measured by the greatness of his/her enemies.

You also say you weren't shallow at 18, isn't the reason that you were not a popular kid, therefore you had a time for some philosophical thoughts regarding the society and life in general? I am asking this because I also remember many of my thoughts from the unhappy years. If I take it this way, then the past sucked, but now it is only a memory. Well, actually it's a little bit more than a memory, the past made me what I am now and if I didn't experience the hardships, I wouldn't be who I am now. The pain helps us to cherish the life, sadness helps us to enjoy the bliss, and the bliss will come, the bliss always comes, sooner or later. Yes, hardships can often be very disturbing and seemingly eternal, but remember that you are not alone in them, even while the internet doesn't allow hugs or kisses, it still helps to communicate and connect with people all around the world, and sometimes a kind word will grant you a courage needed to stand even in the wildest storm.

Give up life that is. If life is a perennial struggle with no hope of happiness/love in future then who would want to live such a life? All humans have a breaking point. She was the only source of my happiness. People struggle in the hope of a better future; I see no future at all without her

**IA56** · 9th March 2015, 11:16 AM

Originally Posted by arundios

Give up life that is. If life is a perennial struggle with no hope of happiness/love in future then who would want to live such a life? All humans have a breaking point. She was the only source of my happiness. People struggle in the hope of a better future; I see no future at all without her

Dear Arundios,
Life is larger than that. There is no such a thing as a breaking Point, Life is eternal if you choose LIFE. Then you also live the Days you have gotten to be here, and do your best as you can. You have to find both hope and faith. It is doable even it does not feel that way now, but hung in there and you´ll see.
I will support you as best as I can, you are not ever alone.

Love
ia

**Osiris** · 10th March 2015, 09:48 PM

Sorry to say man but your going to have a future weather you want one or not, and you will probably get your heart broken again, and yeah life sucks sometimes. I've been all over the other side bro and I can tell you that you will just pick up right where you left off over there, albeit a little worse off. But no huge biggie, here you have a much greater chance of moving on then you do over there, the spook mind being what it is and all.
And I dont want to hear that you cant find love there are TONS of woman better than the one you had that can love you much more completely and with greater maturity than the one you had before, the problem isnt LIFE the problem is YOU didnt follow what was going on in this chicks head, you where to busy rolling around in YOUR own feelings and didnt correctly Read her. It takes TWO in a relationship and you cant blame it all on her Bro... It also take Two to create and find a NEW loving relationship...she may have bailed on the last one, but have you Truely made an effort to find a new one? or are you looking for the same girl in another body? You have to give someone new a chance for you to love them in another way and them you. Your never gonna Duplicate the past relationship feelings ect... And your mistaken if you think its the best Love will ever be for you....But it may be the best if you Block yourself off from Better or even new.
Your kinda like a miner who finds a Huge chunk of gold while digging....then looses the damn thing. Instead of going back and looking for more figuring theres more where that came from your ready to leave the mine and walk away. There are Plenty young women out there waving there arms around trying to get your attention but your fixated on yesterday. I can guarantee you one thing wait around too long and the guys will snatch um right up...

**Saturn** · 11th March 2015, 12:02 AM

Arundios, we've all been there and understand you man. If you want our help, and it seems like you might (it also kind of seems like you want to keep your loneliness). Let's assume you want things to be better though...

You should start off from the beginning. Go find an activity you like where there are people like working out at the gym or, a sport, or church, or maybe even an online video game. The point is to do something that has other people that have a common interest, because this is going to make it easier for you to make friends. And don't just talk to the good looking people. Talk to men and to women you wouldn't normally be attracted to.

YOU PUT FORTH THE EFFORT and invite them to things and help them when they need it. You be their friend, not the other way around. You can't control other people but you can control yourself, and if you want something you have to be willing to dish it out. Set aside your misery when you're with your friends, unless you really need their help then don't be ashamed to ask. Instead explore their world with them. Take an interest in them and the people in their lives.

It doesn't matter if this is hard, because everything worthwhile takes effort.

**ButterflyWoman** · 11th March 2015, 12:11 AM

Originally Posted by arundios

If life is a perennial struggle with no hope of happiness/love in future then who would want to live such a life?

Well, this is a classic logical statement. If/then. IF life is a struggle with no hope THEN why keep doing it. Well, sure. But the key here is that life doesn't have to be that. I have absolutely, completely, totally, and unquestionably been in EXACTLY the mindset that says that life is nothing but a perpetual struggle with no hope of happiness. I'm not kidding in the least. I have been suicidal many times. Have attempted suicide. Have been in the psych ward on an involuntary basis, even.

That is all behind me, I'm happy to say. It CAN turn around. It CAN be better.

I wouldn't bother too much with "hope", though. It's just a weird kind of fear. If you know something will be better, you don't have to hope for it. Hope is saying "Okay, I'm pretty sure it'll be crap, but maybe it won't?"

Hope is not a useful emotion.

I'll also tell you this: Happiness is fleeting and temporary. Joy comes from inside, and it is not dependent on the outside situation. Sounds impossible in the state of mind you're in (I know because I've been there!), but it's exactly the case.

Transformation is possible. You have to go a step at a time, and it's usually two steps forward and one step back, and you may never get to where you're bursting with joy all the time (some people seem to be able to achieve that; I have not, though I'm content most of the time, and I appreciate that because it's a huge step up from suicidal ideation!). But it is possible. The thing you need to realise is that when you change your mind, you change your world, and just because the way you are currently experiencing the world is grim and bleak, it's not necessarily the case. (Without my glasses, the world I experience is very, very blurry, but I'm pretty sure that my reality is not actually fuzzy....

)

**DarkChylde** · 11th March 2015, 01:02 PM

I haven't read this thread in entirety and nor what the finer points of it entail (too long , too many points of opinion)

I'm going to reserve my comments only the to the pertinent gist of it.

*Firstly suicide is extremely totally and very selfish : you might be done with your life , but you leave total and utter disaster in the wake of your act ; you leave your parents/siblings/friends/family in absolute devastation and interminable grief.People who reared you , fed you , schooled you , took care of you when you were sick, saw you make it through your blues and lows ; like it or not the logical fact that stands is that they will be affected most.When I say "most affected" I mean psychologically scarred for the rest of their lives with bereavement and the incessant pain of it.I'm not sure I'd want to put anyone* through that let alone people whom I shared my life with.
If being selfish is your thing (if you just don't care in the least how you affect others or live in some kind of an isolated bubble of only of your own) , go ahead and have it .

*Secondly , reasoning like "My Girlfriend left me and sole reason for existence has been snatched" sounds both puerile and sophomoric to me , that's a phase we all go through.There is no one singular person who comes with a guarantee they will make you whole and your life is going to be permanently smooth-sailing thereafter.Love happens again and again.People fall in love , and they fall out of it , just as easily.
People with decades of togetherness , shared housing , kids and finances , do separate , it's often a long, ugly , painful ordeal - they just don't go off themselves because the love of their life isn't there anymore.
Personally I value my heath , welfare and well being far above love and partnership.You have one life but you have many many attempts at finding the right partner and being in love.

*Thirdly , Backbone counts a lot , I have had genuinely bad times in my life where I temporarily lost productive day-to-day functionality , but tell let me tell you , each and every single time I got up , shook off the dust , wiped the grit clean and said "I'm going to survive this , I will suck it up and be a man" and every time I got through fine.This isn't me boasting off about self-strength or fortitude , it simply goes to show that we all have inherent resilience , courage and the mettle to live and to survive and out do the odds , the point here is that to practice those qualities over giving up and calling it the quits is a choice we make out of our own free volition.

In hindsight I read something to the effect of "Suicide attempts can lead to good NDE experiences"
We are a moderated forum , while meaningful discussion is welcome, we do get a lot of young people in their formative years reading in.Commentators are advised to keep conversation pertinent to scholastic or theoretical intent and refrain from suggestive input .AD is exempt from any ideation and or act/action derived by the reader herein.