I've been thinking about empathy and compassion.
In my early years, I became aware of the suffering of people presently and in the past (although if all time happens simultaneously, it could be understood to be happening right now). Unlike Gautama Buddha though, instead of rushing out to find a cure (and living the life of an ascetic heh heh!), I took a wrong turn. I thought "how deep does this hole go? what is the worst that can happen to people?"
From there I read books which explored all the horrors and pain people have been through, going deeper and deeper into a dark ocean mentally. Not surprisingly, I became despondent, depressed, and cynical. Everything in the world seemed meaningless and took on dark overtones. Everything! Even everyday objects!
I couldn't reconcile the harsh realities of life and suffering with the seeming banal goings-on people were engaged in. Talking about sports, pursuing trivial junk and mindlessly going to robot-like jobs each day (it seemed to me at the time). What was the point, given the 'seriousness' of life and suffering and death (which I assumed was annihilation)? Maybe I was one the first 'Goths' (gloomy vampire-like subculture) haha!
Eventually something had to 'give'. It was from a very low dark state that I switched my enquiring mind from gloom and dispair to finding deeper meaning and purpose. Over time I was able to 'reprogram' myself, and switch polarities. It was a rough ride indeed, and a relief to find greater wisdom and joy in life.
However, there are still some niggling doubts and confusions that linger in regards to 'divine' compasion. I understand conceptually the idea of suffering as an 'experience', that is an illusion of sorts, that doesn't last, and is a tool for greater understanding and awareness. Also that the 'greater self' often apparently chooses suffering before they even start an incarnation. 'Karma' as a tool for understanding and experience rather than a punishment. Bit still, it seems way too extreme in many cases.
I am reading several books at the same time at the moment. 'Conversations with God' (an apparent 'automatic writing' piece) is one I started with some doubts, because it sounded a bit 'new-agey', but I have found it very engaging. Some relevant quotes below, regarding suffering:
"Deep personal disappointments are responses which are chosen, and worldwide calamities are the result of worldwide consciousness.
Your question infers that I choose these events, that it is My will and desire they should occur. Yet I do not will these things into being. I merely observe you doing so. And I do nothing to stop them, because to do so would be to thwart your will. That, in turn, would deprive you of the God experience, which is the experience you and I have chosen together." Does that mean that if everyone could remember the big picture and who we are, suffering in the world could end? Perhaps so.
"Judge not, then, the karmic path walked by another. Envy not success, nor pity failure, for you know not what is success or failure in the soul's reckoning." I've read that some of the most vital and vigorous entities in the great beyond have had a very chequered past. Apparently this is especially true for the tough hombres who go on 'retrieval missions' into dark astral zones. Gotta admire that.
The book also speaks about the original condition of God and the souls as 'all-knowing', but needing 'experiencing' before achieving true 'being'. The trinity of 'the father, the son, the holy ghost' actually meaning "That which gives rise to / That which is risen / That which is". ..."This simple being is bliss. It is God-state, after knowing and experiencing Itself. It is that for which God yearned in the beginning." Here seems to be the core reason for incarnating, voluntarily forgetting the big picture (experiencing the big separation!), and submitting ourselves to suffering. One thing to have knowledge of jumping into a pool, another to actually experience it. A bumpy ride sometimes though, to put it mildly!
It compares letting souls incarnate to letting your kids play in the backyard. "I do not care what you do, and that is hard for you to hear. Yet do you care what your children do when you send them out to play? Is it a matter of consequence to you whether they play tag, or hide and seek, or pretend? No, it is not, because you know they are perfectly safe." and "It is this dichotomy - not caring about the process, but caring deeply about the result - that comes close to describing the dichotomy of God. Yet God, in a sense, does not even care about the outcome. Not the ultimate outcome. This is because the ultimate outcome is assured."
This is a comforting thought (the ultimate outcome is assured), and I have read similar things before in books such as "A Course in Miracles". Behind all the commotion, there is a joyful secret. It doesn't stop me from really disliking suffering though, for myself or others! They are (you are) my fellow 'peeps' (peoples).
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