I had a digestion condition in my teens that made me smaller than the average person. My dad was a bit absent in feeling in childhood and never really showed me anything like diy or mechanics or sport. I'm diagnosed with autism and have always had service industry jobs despite high iq and degree. I have low confidence and don't feel competent in anything. I was raised in a kind of isolated religion ... But every other young man in that religious group learned trades like construction, whereas my dad didn't help me do that. So I was isolated and naive but didn't even get the other esteem boosts the other peers in the group got. My parents were always angry with me as a kid. I have sex problems as the thought of taking my clothes off makes me feel like I am about to be hit, combined with the fear of sex my childhod religion taught me.

I'm just feeling so overcome with obstacles to feeling OK. My joints are too weak and dexterity to bad to be any kind or labour or trade worker, I'm too strange and childish to be an intellectual professor or author type person. No personality for business. I'm feeling a bit surmounted by personal obstacles to self esteem.