I keep think ing about the warmth I knew in childhood. I remember being in my grans house with the rest of my family, hearing other relatives ring the doorbell and seeing them come in from the cold outside and all of us sitting together watching TV and eating. Or tucked up on the sofa watching old sitcoms. Walking home on a chilly winter day knowing there would be my family there with hot drink and nice book to read waiting for me. I feel it now with good friends, but I feel like I never appreciated it before and it's more difficult to find now. I didn't feel it much with my ex but felt mostly on edge. It just seems elusive,like looking out the window and seeing rain outside but you're in with a hot drink and the TV on. Part of a family and community.. Going to the fair and feeling warm and cosy there.