I wish to share what I learn at times, so I thought I would just open a journal instead of opening hundreds of threads throughout the forum.
Today I will talk about addictions.
Lately, I've been struggling most with seperation from others. I tend to fall in love way too easily and forget about myself. I usually don't think about myself anyway, but think about other people. I soak up other people's feelings like a sponge (most of you know what I'm talking about) but I'm trying not tp do that anymore.

You can get addicted to anything- from the internet, to drugs, to love.
Being addicted to another person is really an easy thing to do, if you're not a whole person, yourself. But who is, really? I'm hoping to be one, someday. In the meantime, I find myself addicted to another person's words, another person's feelings, compliments, and even texts. I find my self worth depends on them. If I'm happy or sad. If feel like they have to like me and not getbored with me. And if they will- it's probably because there's something wrong with me. That's really, really bad. And nothing will come out of this. I find that there's a lesson here. And I'm here, on this planet earth, to learn. The lesson will repeat itself until I learn the deal. With other people, with other voices, with other texts. But those different people will represent the same lesson. And, as you might have guessed- I really don't want the lesson to repeat itself. I never want to put my happiness in other people's hands- you're giving them way too much power, power that they don't deserve. But of course, I would rather get hurt by another person than hurt another.

So why do we get addicted to anything? because there's something lacking in our own soul. I think it's because we don't get enough love from ourselves. We do the thing that takes us away from that reality for a little while. Everything's ok again. But then again- it's only a temporary solution. You will get that drug or whatever it is (BTW, IMO falling in love is also "a drug"- since you're addicted to the way you feel when you think about the person or whatever- the hormones) and you get away for a little while- but every little thing in life has the end, eventually. And then you get back to reality, and the hole inside your soul is still there. This is why you took the drug in the first place. And after awhile, you would want to do that again and again. But the answer to your problem is NOT the drug, or anything outside of you. The answer within yourself, in that dark place where you don't open the windows.

My solution for now is to try and use mindfulness. Look at my own thoughts from the side- I don't have to accept them that way, it's easier.

Quote:
"The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it is not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of the other person - without possessing the other, becoming dependant on the other or addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. their happiness cannot be taken by the other because it is not given by the other." Osho, being in love.


BTW- I don't do drugs, just used it as an easy example. Mod, if it's wrong, you can tell me and I'll just think of another example to replace it with (or you can delete the post). Thanks!