Hi StrawHatPro,
It feels like your higher self trying to remind you of your path and sending you the love/urge you need to keep going....at the same time your mind/ego keeping you not to develop, becasue of it´s "death"
but this is only an illusion and you have to dare to push throw....go for the meditation and make it a routine to do it every day even if only for few minutes, this is to show that you are in charge.
Good Luck and Keep Up The Good Work
Love
ia
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