If you develop an attitude (with anything ) you are only holding yourself back. Both on this side and the other. And If you are Truly looking for guidance Look to yourself your heart. You get what you give bub. Yes I've been helped many times and guided along ect.. But YOU!!!!!! have to exhibit Potential for Service, you have to hold Promise to them, If they "the elder brother and sisters" dont think you are serious about personal change for the better you can forget it. Im pushing 50 and I cant imagine all the money/time Ive wasted on crap books. You have to be WILLING to do what it takes. IF you spend 20$ on a crap book oh well... It shows you are Trying. And that means Everything. Bitching and complaining = Lazy. And its written all over your aura for them to see, just like we here can read it all over your post. And I dont recommend running from anything, there are lessons to be learned from the greatest of fools/idiots and confidence men. Take what they offer disregard what you like but remember the gems of the earth are buried in the mud.