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Thread: Phoenix's Journal

  1. #11

    Re: Phoenix's Journal

    10 Jan 2018, 9:44pm

    I have been continuing to inquire into the question "Can I let go of all resistance?" since my last entry. I have managed to keep almost a daily practice of at least 30mins - 1hour, with some days of two or even three hours of dedicated time for self-inquiry. Sometimes I will recall the inquiry throughout the day and will take a short time to continue the practice as well. Here are some observations.

    There have been times when the question is clear and also times when it seems sort of meaningless, even in the one sitting this will occur where I connect with it and have a better idea of what I am asking of myself and then after a while the question will seem foreign and sometimes just irrelevant.

    My interpretation of the question changes a lot, sometimes referencing a situation that just happened, or a general feeling in the body or mind, or encompassing a past time.

    My mind has been busy on occasion with thoughts about: What is meant by resistance, Whether I am resisting or not in that moment, What does resistance look like, What would it be like to be without resistance, and more as I found myself questioning the question itself. My mind has also been silent to varying degrees, sometimes I question if anything is even happening in my head.

    My take on the process so far is that I'm still trying to fully understand just what it is I am asking, but I feel like my understanding is deepening.

  2. #12

    Re: Phoenix's Journal

    25 Jan 2018, 3:09pm

    Quick update, it feels like for the last week, week and a half, I have not sat and done any dedicated inquiry. I've lost interest and if I know myself well by now, the ship has definitely sailed on this one. I still feel like continuing with my meditation practice, and will likely keep that up to help manage stress. Also I have incorporated strength training into my weekly routine, bit of a hail mary, but as the research into Myokines is showing, It looks like it could have a great impact on my mood and energy level.

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